Honoka-chan can't smile
by SeventhHell
Summary: A ninth wheel story from me. Kousaka Honoka is known to be the cheerful and carefree leader, what happens if the time will come that she that can't smile anymore. How will she deal this to herself and the rest of the muse and how will she be able to get back her smile. OOC lonely lord Honoka
1. Chapter 1

It was a normal day, or at least for me. I was awoken by the noise of my alarm clock, the slight sunlight that basked in my face and the incessant sound of 'Honoka' resonating through my door.

"Oh no, Umi-chan still not giving up huh." I overslept and like to sleep more but i couldn't make the blue overlord waited any longer. Times like these made me wished that a robot cat from the future would come and fix all my problems, i could totally use the 'Dokodemo door' right now. Leaving me with no choice, i stopped my procrastination and left the bed to fixed myself immediately, put up my uniform and just picked bread for breakfast. It was a typical shoujo romance stereotype where the girl was running late then suddenly bumped on a boy and we know the rest after that. However, in my story there was a plot twist, i was not the heroine but more of a side character.

I opened the door just to see the faces of my two childhood friends, the one with a calm and kind demeanor was my childhood friend Minami Kotori, she was also the designer of muse's costumes. While the other one who had her arms crossed and angry expression was my childhood friend too, her name was Sonoda Umi and she was our resident lyricist.

"Honoka what are you doing? We are going to be late because of you." I did it again but honestly it was much better if they just went without me.

"Hehe i'm sorry there was a new anime that aired last night, i ended up watching it." I quickly put my i-am-an-airhead face and smiled brightly.

"Seriously you!" Oh no! this was bad Umi's rage had increased to 100%, it was only the beginning of my story and it was proceeding to a 'Bad end' already.

"Umi-chan please don't be so angry at Honoka-chan." Kotori saved me like always. With a simple touch in the hand, she pacified the bluenette's anger.

"Then let's go!" I said it energetically. Umi was about to say something but my remark shrugged it. And with that, we started to walk to school. I purposely lagged behind for the reason that i couldn't do the things that i usually did to us, those friendly hugs and casual holding of hands were nothing more than a thing of a past. There was a invisible space that preventing me to enter anymore after all Umi and Kotori were dating now.

It all started after the incident of Kotori almost left the muse. I stopped her in a nick of time after that we decided to get closer to each other to avoid another scene like that. At first, i was happy knowing everyone's stresses and circumstances like Nico's siblings, Nozomi's loneliness and Rin's feminine anxieties. But from that day on, it turned to something more intimate than that. It was only a matter of time when Eli confessed her feelings for Nozomi. Obviously, i couldn't be happier to see them together. But from that time forward the other members except me of course formed a pair with each other.

" _Seriously girls this is not a trend or something. Don't join in because of the bandwagon effect._ "

And with that i gained another title apart from being the leader of muse, that was the 'Ninth wheel' of muse. As i unlocked this achievement, the rate of my interactions with the rest of the group diminished gradually. Well, it was expected anyway but know this, i am not jealous or anything. If i had to pick between eternal love life and eternal food, i would pick the latter without hesitation. Kirby was my spirit animal after all. But with all that said, there was an indescribable feeling deep in my heart, like asking how the universe made in the first place, there was a black hole that slowly voiding my-

" _THERE IT IS! My two childhood friends are holding hands while walking in the middle of the morning. Hey Umi what happens to the 'This is so shameless' act of yours._ "

To start with, this scenario was not new for me. In fact the rest of the muse did this frequently too, so i just smiled and dealt with it. But it not that i hated it or something, it was more like-

" _Yeah i get it, you love each other hurry up and get a room you two. You don't need to rub it in my face every time._ "

With all my complaining, i didn't notice that we already arrived at Otonokizaka. I excused myself from the two, saying that i forgot some classroom duties. But the truth was, i just wanted to escape their lovey-dovey atmosphere. And the girl's bathroom was the perfect place for dealing with my brooding.

"Kousaka Honoka you can do this, Faito dayo!" I fixed myself in the mirror and exercised my smile. The truth was, i never expected that i would have this mentality in the first place. It was unknown what caused me to be like this. I recalled my memories of the past like it was just yesterday, i was just a stupid girl doing my stupid things without a care in a world, but everything changed when the love nation attacked.

I looked myself in the mirror one last time and smiled. "Everything is going to be fine." These words was like a magic word to me, i couldn't count how many times these words saved my sanity.

* * *

With the class over, I found myself in the idol research club as usual. The love live was already over but we were still practicing. It was funny, considering that the chances that there would be another love live was incredibly slim, but it was not a bother me because we were more than an idol group, we were friends that was bounded by a special fate called muse.

The rest of the group were busy, doing their things, Hanayo and Rin were in a deep discussion on something, Maki and Nico were bickering as always, Kotori and Umi were just sitting quietly enjoying each other's company, Oh we were missing the power couple here. With the end of semester already coming, they were probably busy wrapping things up in the student council. Then, of course there was me silently minding my own business and watching them in a corner.

I noticed a figure slowly approaching me, it was Koizumi Hanayo one of the first year trio and a passionate endorser of rice. Based on her fidgety behavior, i bet she had a question for me. "Umm...Honoka-chan, Rin and i were talking if you have superpowers what will it be?"

This was a nice changed of pace, they were trying to include me in their conversation. "Superpowers huh...well for me it's going to be super speed hehe."

"Why?"

" **The thing about being faster than the speed of light is the fact that you can only live in the world of darkness,** " I said it with a cold tone.

"What?" This was bad, i accidentally turned off my normalcy for a second; she was looking at me with this puzzled look.

"Ack! What i really mean is...if i have super speed...i will never be late for school, i...can also travel across japan...and taste different kinds of bread in the world...ahahha." Normalcy on! I laughed awkwardly hoping that she would believe this Honoka-like answer.

I waited for her facial expression to change before relaxing. "Wow that was good answer and really convenient power."

"I know right?" I smiled brightly.

" _Safe dayo!_ "

"Well Kayo-chin, how about ask Honoka-chan that nya?" It was suggested by a cat-like girl, this girl was Hoshizora Rin a ramen lover and another one from the first year trio.

"What no, its so embarrassing." Hanayo replied while she flustered and covered her face with her hands. Her strange actions only piqued my curiosity more.

"Well what is it? I can't promise that i can answer everything but i will do my best," I said it while in the 'Faito dayo' pose. It was nice to be a good senpai for a change, i just hoped that i could really help whatever their problems were.

"The thing is, we are having trouble on picking my date spot nya? We are stuck between going to Akihabara or the newly built amusement park nya," She said that to me casually.

"Rin you shouldn't have said that." Hanayo was blushing deep red.

Being the ninth wheel had some obligations and skills too, think of it like a job from some RPG game where the healer would heal, the tanker would tank some damage and the ninth wheeler would...ninth wheel. This time my role was called the 'Final arbiter' one of the main duties of the ninth wheel. They were in need of a third party opinion to settle their own indecisiveness, that was why the best way to answer it was to consult the third party itself.

"But Kayo-chin we already talked for hours and we still can't decide nya. I just want to spend my time with you nya."

"Rin..." Hanayo was giving her a longing look. Oh no, i had to solve this fast before they went full lovey-dovey in front of me.

"Well for now, why not go to Akihabara first then go to the amusement park later. The ferris wheel at night is so romantic plus there will be fewer people there too." I gave them a generic calculated answer. I knew there would come a time where my knowledge of the dating sim games could help me in real life.

"But the amusement park is so far away from Akibahara."

"Not really, you can spend your time in this cafe after that it will just a walking distance from there." I showed them a map through my cellphone; i could career this whole date planner and stuff.

"That's really a good answer, why we didn't think of it before."

"That's right, Honoka-chan you're a genius nya."

"Hehe i'm just glad i could help." I gave them my signature smile. That was just a simple time management from me, but i braced myself because i already knew what would happen next.

"Umm...Honoka-chan can you excuse us for the moment? We are just going to plan our date today," She said while her hands in the praying position.

"You don't have to excuse yourself to me, good luck on the date though." I didn't even need to own a future diary to predict what was going to come afterwards. This scenario apparently was like a routine for the two. Hanayo and Rin both had a tendency to be hesitant on picking an answer to avoid arguments. Speaking of arguments, i knew a couple who were rich in that category.

"Hey! I told you she was just my friend okay, why won't you listen," It was stated by the president of the idol research club and the number one idol in the universe? Yazawa Nico.

"Th-then why did you pick her instead of me!" The one who replied was Nikishino Maki, the last of the first year trio and the music composer of muse.

"Arghh! You told me to go to her remember, i even asked you if you would be angry and you said you no right." She had a point in my opinion if her lover was not a tsundere. Based on those little information, Maki must have put a little tsundere act, wanting Nico to choose her instead of some random friend. But it backfired as the raven-haired girl took her words literally.

"That's because i want you to pick me! I'm your girlfriend right?"

As i watched these two, i couldn't imagine how these two became lovers in the first place. I didn't know the full story but it was Nico who declared her feelings to Maki and surprisingly Maki accept the president's confession. However, nothing much changed between these two, they were always at each other throats. To be fair, they had their moments too but that didn't stop them to argue more. Well it was time for me to intervene, i changed my role this time to 'Peacemaker' another duty of the ninth wheel. This was a job that only i could do because the third years would pick Nico's side, the first years would pick Maki's side although they were lovers Kotori would choose Nico because she was helping her in costume making while Umi would choose Maki because of the lyricist-composer relationship. To be honest, i rather diffused a time bomb than to enter this crossfire but their situation were getting out of hand.

"Hey Honoka nice timing please tell her that i'm right. I'm already tired explaining this to her stubborn brain of hers." Nico noticed me silently creeping to them and immediately asked for my opinion.

" _And here i am thinking that my sneaking will level up today._ "

"No Honoka i was right, i am her girlfriend so it's only natural that i want us to be together."

I was silent for a minute as their mediator, i must pick the right words. This process was called 'Breaking the ice' and for me it was the hardest part. Both of them were on the edge already if i selected a word that would partially take Nico's side it would increase Maki's anger, and vice versa.

"If you are always like this then i think its better for us to-" The raven-haired girl stopped for a second. I believed she was starting to realize the weight of her words.

"What! Its better for us to what!"

"...Break...up..." I had to forget about breaking the ice, they were about to break their hearts.

"So that's what you want all along then fine let's break up see if i care!" That was a fine show of bravado my friend, but it was not the time for me to admire that. I had to think of something that would repair their relationship fast.

"Then it's official then, from this time onwards we are not-"

"Nico-chan!" I shouted. Goodness, why both of these girls were so stubborn, there was only one thing for me to do and that was-

"Please go out with me!" I said it, i really said it but i had to do it. The only thing that could defeat chaos was to become a greater chaos itself. In an instant, i became the center of everyone's attention, but i ignored their judging gazes and focused on these two. I changed my attitude towards the devil girl type as i chatted with Nico.

"Wh-what are you saying Honoka, please if you are joking stop it now."

"Do you think these eyes are joking to you?" I gave her a seductive gaze and a tempting smile.

"Honoka! I never expect that you are that type of person. You! You are the worse!" Those words sounded familiar to me. I turned my head for a moment and saw Maki bursting into tears.

" _I'm sorry Maki-chan i have to help you even if i turn out to be the bad guy._ "

"Honoka-chan...please stop this they are many other girls out there. So please don't do this," Hanayo pleaded to me. Both Hanayo and Rin rushed and comforted the redhead while Umi and Kotori were on my side, watching my next move.

"Yeah nya, if you want we can arrange some blind date for you nya."

"Well, you are single now after all so what's your answer Nico-chan." I disregarded their pleas and said it with a smug face.

"Honoka you!" Umi rushed to me. She grabbed me by the collar and stared straight through my eyes.

"Honoka-chan, Umi-chan please stop! I don't want to see my childhood friends hurting each other again."

"Hey Umi-chan stand back, i'm talking to Nico-chan here." I was amazed on two things: First, i could totally dig this villain stuff. And the second, it was just an act but no one bothered to side with me. Was this what they called 'Camaraderie of fellow couples'. Even, Umi and Kotori who i thought that could see through my guise, were siding at the couple's side.

"I-i can't, i'm sorry."

"Why?" I pressed her for the answer. Depending on her next reply would determine the fate of her relationship with Maki.

"I just can't okay, i'm happy you ask me that but i can't. I really don't know why but i can't." She was on the verge of crying when she said that to me.

"Then everything is fine in the first place." I smiled brightly and reverted back to the normal Honoka. This left everyone puzzled for my actions.

"What are you saying that everything is fine, can you elaborate?" Umi slowly released her grasp in my uniform.

"I just confirmed now that Maki-chan and Nico-chan truly loved each other," I announced it with a cheerful voice. Honestly, i wanted to give a bit by bit explanation but i had to stick with my stupid demeanor.

" _Being stupid is hard but pretending to be stupid is harder._ "

"Maki-chan, Nico-chan listen to me, love is a good thing but it has a bad side also, you two will face some problems in the future and test your faith together, but when things going rough just remember one thing that both of you truly love each other and you two will be fine," I lectured them while holding their hands. The two were like they hit a reset button and became lovey-dovey instantly. As much as i hated these type of things, for me it was better than the alternative so i made this an exemption for now.

"I-i'm sorry Maki, i promise to be a better girlfriend from now on!"

"I'm sorry too, i have some troubles expressing myself but i will try harder for our sake." We watched them both hugging and crying to each other until both of them calmed down.

"I'm glad you two finally reconcile."

"Yeah don't make us worry like that again nya."

"All's well that ends well"

"Yeah i'm glad Umi-chan."

"..."

"..."

"..."

WAIT! What happened? Was this another episode of 'Kousaka no basket', so did i become the phantom ninth member of the generation of muse or activated my misdirection. They completely forgotten about my heroic deeds as soon as i finished helping them, i even got myself to be rejected on purpose for this. But surprisingly, it didn't bother me. Actually, i was more amazed on how they swiftly forgot my presence. With the 'NicoMaki' conflict resolved, i returned to my seat and thought of ways to pass time.

Several minutes had passed, a blue haired girl reluctantly approached me. "I'm sorry i didn't know that was your scheme." My blue haired friend apologized while bowing her head.

"Oh no it didn't bother me at all, i just glad that everything is alright now." I said it with a lighthearted voice but deep inside i was disappointed in her. First, her sorry was five minutes late. Second, she messed my uniform. Third, she took their side not mine, her BESTFRIEND. And finally, the reason why i was totally crestfallen to her was she automatically assumed that i would really date Nico just because i had no special someone.

"Actually i have something to ask to you?" So this was related to the one she was going to say the early morning.

"You can ask me anything i mean we're bestfriends after all right." If there was one thing i was truly good at, that was concealing my real emotions. Not like i didn't trust them in fact it was quite the opposite. I didn't want to ruin my social circle just because of my petty reasons. Surely, in any group there was always someone who made hard sacrifices just to keep their group together and that was me in my group.

"Well do you want to go to the movies after this? I was happy for a second with her kind gesture but i knew the catch to this.

" _Kotori is busy with her job today and we already bought the tickets._ "

"Kotori is busy to her job today and we already bought the tickets."

I could read her like an open book. When i became the ninth wheel, my senses heightened to a great extent. Generally, i easily recognized any body language especially if they were my friends. Furthermore, i could perceive their thoughts based on their actions. Finally, i was able to read their moods that was why i always knew when they had a problem or not. So being the ninth wheel had its perks too.

"Of course, i would love to. What's the movie anyway?" It was a romantic movie for sure.

"Really! The movie name is 'Love and Forever' a romantic movie. A tale of two lovers who stand the test of time." I wanted to say no right away but her eyes were gleaming since when did Umi like this genre anyway.

"Haha that's sound really good, i can't wait to watch it."

Once again, i changed my role from peacemaker to 'Absolute substitute' another ninth wheel duty that only i was capable of. As lovers naturally they wanted to stay with one another but reality was unforgiving. Each and one of us had their own responsibilities and circumstances like Nico tending her siblings, Kotori's maid cafe works and Nozomi's shrine duties so of course not at all time they would always be together physically. That was my part in the picture. I was like a wild card to them, because of my cheerful and carefree attitude i could be easily paired up with anyone but because i was the joker, my count was zero. I had no lover so it would eliminate the fact that someone would get jealous on my side plus my friendship meter was maxed to them. That was the reason why they always magically remembered my name in these scenarios making me the 'Convenient choice' to them.

"Really, then i will tell Kotori right away, thank you Honoka." She hastily excused herself after that.

"Yeah, i'm looking forward to it Umi-chan."

A few minutes had passed the power couple arrived. I was slightly happy seeing them exhausted, meaning the practice was cancelled today.

"I'm sorry girls there will be no practice today," It was announced by a quarter russian senior and the student council president Ayase Eli.

"We packed up all the student council works today so rest assured there will be no interruptions tomorrow." The one who gave the long explanation was our senior Toujou Nozomi, the big sister of muse and Eli's girlfriend.

"Yeah the only thing that was left now was to pick a successor, the one who will become the next council president for the next semester." For some reason, Eli was looking at me while she announced that.

After the announcement everyone fixed their things, Hanayo and Rin were going to their planned date, Maki and Nico were inseparable together, i overdid it to them but let see how long their lovey dovey mode would last. I didn't need to mention Eli and Nozomi, they were the pinnacle of yuri couple. Umi and Kotori were just waiting for someone, i wondered who was that? The two were staring at my direction.

I was about to celebrate this small victory of enjoying no practice when i recalled the promise to go with Umi-chan at the movies.

" _Seriously after all i have been through this day it is not yet over. I propose to change the name of this fanfic to the 'Melancholy of Kousaka Honoka' at least that one is better._ "

"Honoka! Honoka! We are going now."

"I-i'm coming, please wait Umi-chan, Kotori-chan."

A part of me was asking how long i could continue this but it didn't matter to me. As long as i could preserve the happiness of the nine of us, i didn't care how many times i had to break, cry and to be forgotten. If would be always known as 'The leader who always smile' then that was fine with me.

"Everything going to be fine." I muttered my magic word again. Needless to say, i never expected that the time would come where i couldn't smile anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

I felt the afternoon breeze chilled through my skin as we walked towards our destination, apparently there was a sudden changed of plans. Because the practice was cancelled today, Kotori could work early and made it in time just for the movie. This was a simple problem solving on my part, there were two tickets and three of us. So technically, i was going to be ruled out but there was a twist, i couldn't remove myself out of the equation. Umi invited me and i happily accepted her invitation so if i back out it would just hurt the sea girl's pride. After all, Umi was the type that had a strong sense of responsibility so she couldn't go back on her word even if she wanted to.

"Umi-chan i think it's fine for me to go, i plan to marathon my favorite anime anyway." I already knew what her next reply was going to be but a part of me was still hoping that she would allow me to leave.

"No! We will watch the movie together, Kotori can you really make it in time?"

"Yeah i'm sure of it, the movie will start at 7 right?"

"There you have it we just need to wait for her and about the tickets, i am going to buy one more so you don't have to worry."

"Haha... then what are we waiting for, let's go!" Sometimes, i was scared of myself for making absolute calculations.

After our long walk we arrived in Akihabara, we were welcomed by the colorful lights and busy atmosphere. This place never ceased to amaze me, it was always filled with lots of people and anime stuff. There were a number of maids and maid cafes too. Honestly, i couldn't discern which maid cafe Kotori was working. I just followed Umi and Kotori until we stopped on a certain maid cafe. For some reason, this area was somewhat familiar to me then after a few minutes it hit me, this was the cafe that Kotori sang the "Wonder zone" in one of our lives. We successfully accompanied Kotori to her workplace and wished her good luck. We were about to say goodbye to her when i saw how Umi became melodramatic as she held Kotori's hands.

" _Really Umi-chan, you will see her again at 7 there's no need for you to go full Kosei Arima._ "

After we dropped Kotori to her work, we found ourselves with a plenty of time to spare. We decided to roam around the place till the meeting time. Meanwhile my Honoka-sense was tingling, this showed that there was a restaurant near the place. I dragged Umi all over the vicinity until we found that eating place, a simple pizzeria with a classic italian design. We seated ourselves and about to order the pizzeria's specialty when i heard a very familiar voice.

"So you like tomatoes, that's weird." I was sure of it, that was the voice of Nico so if she was here then-

"Why are you asking me this anyway." I knew it, that one was Maki.

"Cause i want to know you better, I promise that i will be a better girlfriend remember."

"Do-do what you want...is not like i am happy or anything."

" _Wow so i am in the second episode of 'The melacholy of Kousaka Honoka' now._ "

Of all places we encountered these two lovebirds here, just when i thought that i would only deal with Kotori and Umi at the end of the day. And to make it worse, their table was adjacent to us, but luckily they were preoccupied with their lover's talk to notice us. Speaking of preoccupied, my blue haired friend here was still in the daze too, i started a conversation but " _Umi EXE has stopped working, please insert a Kotori to her side._ " On the bright side those two still had not noticed our presence yet. My small dream for the moment was to be able to eat my pizza in peace despite of the situation.

"Oi! Honoka, Umi fancy meeting you here." Such fragile dreams. That happened fast, like they had a keyword or something.

"Ah...oh Maki-chan, Nico-chan i didn't notice you at all since when did you two arrived." I feigned ignorance as always.

"What are you talking about, we already been here you're just so dense that you don't notice." Wow, so this was reversed psychology. Then, looked at Umi, that girl had never said a single word since it became just the two of us.

"You're really so dense Honoka. Seriously, they are just table away from us." She recovered quickly and with a heck of a timing too.

"Ahaha...i can't help it, i'm just thinking of the pizza."

" _I'm not dense, i just choose to not care._ "

"Whatever, let's order some pizza now."

And so my pizza arrived with cheese, pepperoni, mushrooms and a little bit of grief as a bonus topping. We chatted about many things but i was secretly fishing for information, apparently these two were here because they came to watch the same movie and just passing time until the premiere. So there was a chance that i would see them again after this. Usually, i didn't ask things like why the world was so cruel to me because it was a rhetorical question but i was going to ask anyway.

" _Why is the world so cruel to me?_ "

After we finished eating our pizza, i urged Umi to leave. This was Akihabara after all so there was many things to do. Although, i couldn't buy the newly released DVD or anime figures at the moment because of a certain reason. We were about to leave when the pair made a conversation again to me one last time.

"Umm...Honoka...thank you! Because of you i realize that i really love Maki, thank you Honoka," Nico said it, slightly bowing her head to me.

"It's not a big deal, i'm just happy everything is alright now." Preserving the happiness of nine of us was my 'Raison d'etre' anyway.

"Me too Honoka, thank you...for this. I will never forget it."

"Just promise me you two will not fight again okay, just talk things first before making a decision." It would make my life a bit peaceful.

I smiled brightly as we bid them goodbye. I just hoped that this time, this pair were not going to bicker in the later future. It would be a huge help for me indeed, considering that i could discard my peacemaker role. We paid the tab and ventured towards the door but before i made my exit, i glanced to them one last time and smiled.

"Don't worry, i'm going to make sure that everything is going to be fine for us," I muttered that to myself as i chased my blue haired friend who was already a meters away.

With our stomach full, we continued our stroll around Akihabara. Honestly, i wanted to visit some anime shops but i had my very meticulous and old fashioned friend as a companion. I recalled the time when she came along with me on those shops. I was buying some anime merchandise when she wandered off on her own, and almost drifted in the R18 section. It was a heart-stopping moment for me but i managed to save her before she could learn about the darkside of anime. Since then, i vowed to never enter any anime shop if Umi was with me. Well generally, she didn't like anime especially those anime girls that showing a lot of skin so we went to her place of choice, an old music store? For a second, i was worried about their relationship, Kotori was the one making decision to their dates for sure. We were about to enter when we heard a familiar voice AGAIN.

"My, my Honoka-chan and Umi-chan fancy meeting you two here," Nozomi said in a teasing tone.

"Ah nice timing, we are about to grab some parfaits at the usual place. Do you want to come?" Eli suggested.

We encountered another muse couples again and to make it worse, they were the high leveled ones. This kind of situations made me wished that max repel should exist in real life. Once again, i resigned to my fate as i recited another rhetorical question in my mind.

" _What kind of fate is this?_ "

"I don't mind do you want you to Honoka? I can show you this store on another time."

"Of course, we have some time before the movie after all," I said cheerfully but in my mind i carefully weighted which was heavier. On one hand, if i went to the music shop, i would probably die on boredom. On the other hand, if i went with my senior, it would be just a non-stop flirting between them. So its tied between boredom vs flirting and since it had almost no difference, i chose the latter. "I can't wait to see what the cafe looks like."

And so with two new additional party members, we trod our path to the cafe that Nozomi and Eli frequented to. While walking, i saw how the two casually holding their hands and Umi was busy fiddling her cellphone. A few minutes later i initiated a conversation, my first topic was if they were here because of the movie too and i was relieved to hear their answer, so it were only Maki and Nico this time. I was going to ask for more when i noticed that Umi stopped moving.

She looked at me then suddenly bowed her head. "I'm sorry, i have to go to Kotori now...umm Honoka you know where the movie center is right?"

"Of course, i will meet you up there." So it was a luxury for me to spend some alone time with one of my childhood friends now.

"Don't worry Honoka-chan we're almost there."

We continued our walk but my luck was never changing, not only Umi left me for her girlfriend but also i was stuck on dealing with the star couple alone. If i ever found myself trapped in Hope's peak Academy with 14 other unique students and a despair maniac bear, my title would be ultimate misfortune. Spoiler alert: I was the one who was going to die at the first five minutes of the episode so there was not even a classroom trial for me. My train of thoughts was interrupted when i bumped on my senior's back. It seemed that we already arrived, the place was an open cafe with lots of flowers as the main motif. I carefully examined the store sign, the name was 'Secret garden' written in a gold font. My seniors already took their seats, feeling comfortable but for me it was the opposite. This was the first time i visited these kinds of place, so naturally i was nervous

"Honoka what's your order?" My hands were at the menu but i still failed produce a solid answer. These two were regulars here so they most likely ordering the usual and by usual i bet this 'Garden of lover's parfait', so i couldn't mimic their order. I was still pondering for my choice, but the waitress already approached me.

"Can i get your order ma'am?"

" **Hopes and dreams, please**."

"Um..ma'am, we don't serve that here can you please pick another one?"

"Ah, coffee please," i said, going for the common choice.

"We have coffee ranging from the ordinary blends to the high quality ones. What do you want ma'am?"

" **Ah just black coffee, the darkness of the coffee complements with the story of my life** ," I said coldly.

"Ah...uh would you like it hot or cold, ma'am?"

" **Cold please, i mean even if i pick hot, it can't warm my heart anymore** ," I said it again with a cold voice.

"..If..if you want..we can add some-"

" **Listen miss, i like my coffee, just like my future: Cold, dark and lonely. What's the point of adding it anyway? We live alone, we die alone, and everything else is just an illusion, isn't**?"

"Ah..uh...so...black..coffee, i'll be right back."

After giving my order, the waitress slowly crept away from me. I didn't understand at first why she was acting like that until i realized, i turned off my normalcy again. This was bad, i showed it to these two lovebirds here. I was about to panic when i saw the pair, they were in their own secret garden showing their affections with each other. This was probably the first time, that i was genuinely happy when they were flirting and ignoring me. The reason i called them power couple was that the fact that they were not afraid to show this kind of view to anyone. Their relationship was well known in the school and supported by a vast majority of students. However, because of this, these two were always showing public display of affection approximately 70% at the time. Like always, i could only find solace in the girl's bathroom but before i could go, they finally noticed my presence.

"Ah Honoka-chan, i'm sorry i didn't notice you. I am just so happy."

"No i don't mind, i'm happy when you're happy," I said cheerfully. I wasn't even trying to hide, in fact i was just sitting in front of these two. So my stealth skills were greater than solid snake now.

"Actually we just want to thank you, if we never join the muse. I wouldn't be able to realize my feelings for Nozomi."

"Aww you're making me blush Elicchi."

"Well it's the truth anyway, i love you Nozomi."

"I love you too Elicchi..." Well it could've been worse in my opinion. But hey at least they didn't...and they kissed, it probably lasted for few seconds but i saw it at the very last moment. Once again i cursed my luck in the inside as i kept my smile on the outside.

Soon after that our order arrived, Nozomi and Eli shared a large couple parfait complete with pink ribbons and hearts while me just sipping my plain black coffee. For some reason, i received four complementary cupcakes with letters aligned as 'HOPE' and a note saying "Don't give up" along with my order. I watched the two, feeding each other with only one spoon. But it didn't bother me now because i already saw the worst. After finishing our orders we chatted for a bit, our topic was the student council works. This was a peculiar topic for me but i already had a hint of where this was going, so i played dumb at the moment. With the time of the movie premiere at hand, i excused myself and said goodbye. I was already walking towards my path but i turned back and waved at them one last time.

I rushed to our meeting point and bumped with few people along the way. Luckily for me, the movie theater was not far from here. So this answered why Umi left me, she knew the cinema's distance from that cafe. After a minute of searching, i found my childhood friends, standing at the main entrance patiently waiting for me.

"Hey Umi-chan, Kotori-chan i'm here now," I shouted cheerfully.

"Good your just in time, let's go now."

"Umi-chan no need to rush, i'm sure there are many seats left."

"I know but it can't hurt to be careful so let's go now."

We entered the movie center, it was crowded with a sea of couples that would watch the same film like these two. I saw the movie poster and it was a full blown romantic movie with the biggest stars as cast, no wonder Umi and Kotori were excited. My ashen haired friend handed me my ticket as we proceeded to the viewing area. I immediately noticed the amount of people in those padded seats, i tried to find Nico and Maki but it was too packed. A few minutes later, we found some seats on our own at the lower row. While waiting for the movie to start, i felt my cellphone vibrated. I hastily opened it and found a text with a picture, from Hanayo and Rin in the ferris wheel together.

" _Thanks Hanayo-chan and Rin-chan, this is what i need the most in my situation._ " Well, on the bright side their date was successful meaning they would not bother me any time soon.

"Honoka what are you doing? Turn that off, the movie is about to begin."

With Umi's scolding, i quickly hid my cellphone and focused my eyes on the movie. It was the first half of the film when large amount of people were crying, i turned to my childhood friends and they were bawling their eyes too. I didn't understand what was happening, there was not even a single bit of reason to cry in this movie. But i guessed this was what i got for watching the ending of angel beats without even shedding a tear, i was qualified to enter the salty spitoon for this. As the movie progressed, i found myself bored already. Well, the film was not boring but it was not interesting either. Generally, all love stories basically had one ideal plot, that was the leading man and the leading lady would always end up together ALWAYS. It just varies with their meetings and interactions. About the ending, some people incorporated some twist like both or one of them would die in the end or an unfinished ending that would leave to the viewer's imagination what happened next, but for me it was too repetitive already. When i watched with this mindset, i easily spotted some flaws and inconsistencies like how did they fall in love with each other within a limited amount of time? Could love really work that way? How could you tell that it was true love if you just met her for a day? Needless to say, i already knew the answers to my questions which made the whole process boring. With all my contemplating, we finally arrived to the film's climax. The cliche kissing scene at the end between the two leads. For some reason Umi was staring intensely at this scene. Back then, the bluenette was always terrified when we watched similar scenes, saying that "So shameless" over and over again. So with her current actions concluded my theory that she and Kotori kissed already.

After the movie ended, we found ourselves at the main entrance. My two childhood friends were not moving, so i initiated a conversation. "Come on girls let's go home now," I said with a bright smile, marching my way home but my two friends were still not moving.

"Umm...i'm sorry Honoka-chan, we have some plans after this..." Kotori had an apologetic look when she said that to me.

"We will visit a cafe that Kotori is talking about after this, you can go home on your own right?"

"Ah..of..course, i..am not a a kid..you know." I never cried at the movie but i felt like crying now. " _Honoka, just endure it, fai..to da..yo.._ " I was just extra baggage for them and already considered the possibility of something like this happening. But in the end, i was never prepared enough.

"We will be going now, Honoka-chan." Kotori excused and bowed her head to me before leaving. I let them leave first, so they couldn't see my teary face.

"Okay...see..you..tomorrow.."

And with that i walked to my home alone. There was a cold night wind that was blowing on that day but it didn't matter. All i wanted to do, was to go home and sleep the night.


	3. Chapter 3

I had a good sleep and woke up early for a change, took a bath, prepared my breakfast and put my school uniform already. My mother saw me and was shocked by my actions. I just smile and told her that i fell out of my bed as an excuse. But the truth was, i forced myself to wake up early. If i overslept again, Umi and Kotori would come and fetch me. And i didn't want to meet them after what happened yesterday.

"Everything is going to be fine," I muttered my magic word as i sauntered towards my destination.

My walk alone was different with my walk with the others, but for some reason, i didn't feel lonely at all in fact i was happy for this solitude. Wait, did i just become a loner. Technically, i was not but might as well try. I guessed i would try to convince my teacher to transfer me to the service club where i would meet a black haired ice queen and started my own youth romantic comedy that was wrong as i expected. Or at least that kind of setting would be nice.

After pondering 7 episodes in my mind, i arrived at Otonokizaka. I had no urge to visit the girl's bathroom today, so i spent my free time in the classroom. I put my bag on my desk and rested my head on it. Several minutes later, the students were filling up the classroom one by one. It was just a minute after that, when my two childhood friends entered the scene. It was hard to see if Umi was mad in my position but knowing her, she would approach me right away.

"Honoka why did you leave us alone? We are waiting for you like crazy." There was a slight anger on her tone so it was more like an irritation huh. Thank god, i thought i was going to deal with a 100% rage Umi.

"Ahaha...i fall out of my bed and decide to go early," I apologized while putting my right hand at the back of my head. I must also keep my story to Honoka level to avoid suspicion.

"Well, that something that Honoka-chan will do, Umi-chan please don't be so angry okay."

"You know if you can always wake up early, it will make my life so much easier," She sighed in defeat. Her anger was gone in an instant, the power of 'Umi-chan onegai' was too strong. Kotori always knew how to do the trick, regarding with her lover.

"Don't be so mean Umi-chan, i'm trying my best here." I smiled brightly. It would make my life easier too, so the feelings were mutual.

Umi was about to give me a long lecture like always, but i was saved by the teacher entering the room. The class began and after a few explanations of about the Newton's laws of motion, i fell asleep. My seat's location was the typical protagonist type, the one that located at the back near the windows, perfect for some in-class daydreaming. So even if i slept the chances of the teacher noticing me was slim and even if the teachers noticed me, i could just laugh my way out. I was Kousaka Honoka to them after all.

"Hey! Hey! Honoka wake up." I felt a hand violently tugging me, slowly waking my consciousness.

"What, what is the subject now!" I stood up out of panic. But that was quickly turned to confusion, when i saw only Umi and Kotori in the classroom.

The bluenette crossed her arms and looked sternly, "What are you talking about? the class is already over and you sleep almost the whole of it. I tried to wake you up many times but you're still sleeping soundly." In my defense, those teachers voice sounded like they were casting a high level sleep spell on me, plus there was always an unexplainable feeling when i slept in the class. Maybe its related to the tranquility of the atmosphere, why i always had a good sleep in the classroom. But with all that said, it was still hard to believe that i SLEPT THE WHOLE CLASS, it was a new record for me or perhaps there was something clearly wrong with me today.

"Hehe is that so...how about going to the cafeteria before going to the clubroom. I can't practice with an empty stomach...hehe," I gave a normal excuse. Well, its partly true, given my situation but my real motive was to stall us before practicing. I was pretty sure 'that' would happen again.

"Well Honoka-chan, I know you will be hungry when you wake up. So i already buy some breads for you. Here these are your favorites right?"

"Thanks Kotori-chan ehehe." These breads were delicious but they were my least concern this time. I had to think of the best excuse as possible or i would experience "that" once more.

"By the way Honoka, I receive a text from Eli. It says that everyone is on the rooftop now." It was too late for me to fake illness, i already used the i-had-to-help-my-family ruse the last time. My time was running out and i couldn't think of a fail proof alibi to avoid practice. Why every time i watched detective Conan, those villains made it looked so easy to pull off.

"Ahh the notes, that's right the notes. I sleep in the class right so i have no notes, maybe we have a homework right?"

"Don't worry Honoka-chan, I already copy you mine." Kotori gave a brilliant smile at me, while her hands were holding the papers of today lectures.

"Kotori-chan you shouldn't have done that."

" _Really Kotori-chan you shouldn't have done that._ "

"Kotori really tries her hardest to save you, be grateful for her efforts will you?"

"Ahaha of course, thank you Kotori-chan. I'm happy for the things you done for me." I bowed my head out of respect. She was totally unaware, but her thoughtfulness was blocking my escape routes one at the time.

"So let's go now everyone is waiting." Umi said as she packed her bag. this was bad, it was my last chance to escape otherwise 'that' history would repeat itself.

"Hey girls, i actually forgot my training outfit today. How about i go home and bring it. I promise i'll make it quick." This was my last gamble and it was all or nothing.

"Ah i have it here with me Honoka-chan, your mother ask me to give it to you,"

" _Seriously, even my training uniform that i leave on purpose. JUST HOW THOUGHTFUL ARE YOU?_ "

"Ehehe...then...let's go," I said happily while i put my right hand upward. But inside i was already crying, knowing that i would encounter 'that' again was simply too much.

And with that we started our walk as i fueled this journey with my own tears.

* * *

Honoka Log no. X , day Y

The sun was at its peak when i arrived to the rendezvous point. There i found the rest of the intelligent lifeforms of an idol group named muse, this time they were spending their moments doing basic stretches and warm ups. 'That' phenomenon had not started yet, but it was all too late for me to contact the HQ. I didn't know my simple covert operation of mine would lead to this. I only hoped to the heavens that i could make a clean getaway before 'that' time came. But if luck was not on my side, i left this small video log for Yukiho to continue where i failed. In this world, there were many unexplained mysteries like the Stonehenge, Easter island heads and the Nazca lines. These things baffled our minds with the question of its creation and meaning. And then there was 'that' case, its origin was about months ago. We were just practicing like always when i noticed that Eli and Nozomi were acting weird. At that time, i just shrugged it, thinking it was another one of their flirting but i was wrong at so many levels. Soon all of them followed resulting utter chaos, they were infected by a high level contagious virus known as 'love' but for some reason i had an immunity to this. I didn't know the conditions nor the triggers but ever since that day it happened over and over again. In the present day, I Kousaka Honoka still failed to find a cure, the only thing that i could do was to trap them in a quarantine called 'rooftop' to avoid further infections. But even if this virus deemed to be incurable, my hope would not waver that someda-

"Honoka-chan, Honoka-chan are you there?"

"Ah...Hanayo-chan, Rin-chan...i'm sorry i didn't notice you...i was busy filling up my video log." Just when i was going to the good parts, i was interrupted shortly. With their cheery mood, i guessed our talk would be related to their date yesterday.

"Thank you Honoka-chan because of you, our date yesterday was a blast," She said it cheerfully while shaking my hands.

"Yeah nya, everything you said was spot on nya."

"Ehehe you flatter me to much, i'm just glad that your date is successful," I gave them my trademark smile. I was sure that their next question was about asking me to plan their date again.

"Umm...Honoka-chan, i...know it's too much but i can i ask you to plan our date again. I know we're both indecisive so..."

"Of course, i happy to help whatever i can," I said it with a 'faito dayo' pose. This conversation started to become familiar. Well, insanity was doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results so it was just expecting an orange to bear on an apple tree.

"Really nya, thanks Honoka-chan you're a life saver nya."

"Yeah Honoka-chan,you have no idea how much that means to us." I believed i just became their official date planner. Oh well, as long as they were happy.

"Yes you can count on me!" I smiled and reassured them. "Don't worry, everything going to be fine."

With my reassurance, the two returned happily to their original positions. I was about to relax but that was the cue for Eli to clap her hands and started the practice. During practice, i activated my emperor eye and watch the rest of the muse movements thoroughly. One of them would surely start it but who? Eli and Nozomi had the highest chance of triggering it but Nico and Maki were sailing their ships together too. Also there were Rin and Hanayo whose strong point was their innocent but cute relationship and Kotori and Umi who acted like a long term married couple already. We continued our practice until the time that we would exercise with our partners. Usually, we shifted stretching partners from time to time, but of course with the other eight on their respective relationship. They wanted to stretched with their lovers, leaving me as a consolation prize for either Umi or Kotori. My partner this time was Kotori, we began with a basic back to back 2 man stretch while proceeding to a 20 count sit ups. Everything was going fine for once until 'that' happened, so it was Nico and Maki this time.

Honoka Log no. X, day Y page Z

I already knew this was going to happen but i was still powerless to stop it, was this fate was inevitable? Could it really not be stopped? Was my fate was doomed forever like this? I asked myself these questions as i watched history bounded to repeat itself once more. Let me gave an explanation about 'that', according to all my data gathered being lovers had drastic changes. One of them was the hunger for physical contact, of course as lovers it was only natural wanting to be touched by the one they loved. But it didn't end to that, when at practice, exercising together required that bodily contact but because they were lovers those simple touches became intimate caresses and soon after that its escalated to a much greater scale.

In here we could see the "NicoMaki" in their natural habitat, they were a feisty couple who always bickered like cats and dogs but this time they were inseparable to each other. As we could see the "NicoMaki" were hugging each other disconnected from the real world. My only hoped for this couple was to prosper and live their potential.

Also what did we have here, the "NozoEli" the couple that i considered primal couple of all the muse. They were...kissing...yay...well there was nothing i could say but their stats as a couple were maxed out in my book. These two had the tendency to not care of place and time. If they were feeling it, they would do it.

It was a lucky day for us to spotted the elusive "KotoUmi" this couple were known to be rare in displaying their affection in public especially the blue haired girl who was always shy since childhood. Luckily for her, the bubbly ashen haired girl was at her side to balance their relationship. They were just holding their hands while staring intimately at each other, but perhaps those sticky stares implied a hidden message that only the two of them could decipher.

And last but not the least the "RinPana" a couple that was the most recently formed but steadily climbing their ranks as lovers. They were cute together? Yes, Childhood friends setting? Yes, Did they ship already sailed? Definitely yes. So with the number of points, their relationship was set on the good path. The catlike girl was hugging the rice-loving girl from the rear, whispering some sweet nothings to her lover's ear.

And above all that there was me, the one with the antibody of 'ninthus wheelus' silently minding my own business while observing them as always. There was nothing i could do, for starters what were the chances of my eight other friends falling in love and becoming a couple. And this time it happened again, they were all busy making out and ignoring me. But honestly it didn't bother me much after all this scene happened for the Nth time. Whoever watching this video log or experiencing the same situation as mine, i could only implore one thing-

"Faito dayo."

"Kousaka Honoka, out."

Well i finished my video log and got some good quality contents too. It was still a mystery how did it all started over and over again, perhaps this must be the work of an enemy stand. I turned my attention to them and it seemed like everyone was still busy doing their lovey dovey things.

" _Seriously girls, this is not a competition to find the best couples. When do you plan to stop._ "

Times like these made me appreciated the invention of Mathematics for being a great time waster for me. I opened my textbook and began solving some geometry problems. Knowing them, they would stop probably a half an hour, so i had so much free time to spare. Being the ninth wheel i ready myself for this scenarios, that was why i always carried something to kill time with me whether its a new phone app or a school textbook.

After a 30 minutes of exercising my brain, it looked like one pair had managed to come back to reality.

"Alright girls that enough, let's have a 10 minute break then continue after that," Eli clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. Surprisingly, every came to their senses after that, i was amazed how they could act normal after their lovey dovey session. But most importantly-

" _Continue? So there will be a part 2 of this nightmare? Our training regimen said to do 20 sit ups not 20 kiss ups._ "

And so my role as the 'Grand spectator' was done. But i still continued my watch, Hanayo and Rin were sitting and resting their heads with each other, Nozomi and Eli were...kissing again after all this time, they still not satisfied. Well, their position was hidden from the line of sight of muse so at least they considered the place this time. Nico and Maki were eating a bento that Nico prepared, it was a salad with tomato as the key ingredient complete with a tomato juice at the side. Lastly, my two childhood friends were slowly approaching me...wait approaching me?

"Umm...Honoka is there something wrong?" Hey, that was supposed to be my line.

"What are you talking about, i'm fine as you can see my 'faito dayo' so there nothing to worry about." I gave my signature pose along with my signature smile. That was weird i was pretty sure i kept my normalcy on today; i wondered what had gotten to Umi's head to ask me that question.

"Umm...the truth Honoka-chan, i never see you smile today," Kotori voice with a great concern. What? What was she talking about? Since when did Kotori become forgetful, i was smiling in the whole class right before i slept of course.

"Well if you're asking if i smile today, Hanayo-chan and Rin-chan can answer that." I was smiling the whole time when i was with them too.

"Umm...Honoka-chan, you never smile...it bothered me too but you did say that everything was going to be fine right?" Hanayo interjected. I felt myself sweating heavily as son as those words left to her mouth.

" _Wh_ _at is this? Even Hanayo-chan and Rin-chan? WHAT IS THIS?_ "

"Ahaha...what are you talking about? Look! I am smiling now right?" Honoka calmed down, maybe they didn't notice my smile, because they were busy in their couple's thing right? That was a possibility, there was no need for me to panic. Surely, this smile of mine would answer all their misunderstandings.

"Honoka you are not smiling," Umi said that to me while she put a makeup's mirror directly in my face. I saw my reflection in the mirror and i was really...not smiling.

I was slowly losing my consciousness as i finally learned the harsh reality. It was like i was played by a cruel joke, if Kotori said that she never saw me smiled today then the only logical conclusion was: I never smiled from the start. I never smiled when i was at the classroom, I never smiled when i was with the rest of the muse, i might never smiled when i was talking on my mother earlier. I never smiled...

"..."

"..."

"..."

I felt a hand place on my shoulders gently waking my consciousness, "Honoka-chan are you really alright?" It was Kotori, she shared the same anxious expression with the rest of the muse. This was bad, i had to answer fast or they would become suspicious of my behavior.

"...Of course..i already told you..i'm fine okay."

"Well you don't look fine to me, how about-"

" **Nozomi, i already said i was fine, didn't i?** " I said it with a cold serious voice, the caring senior was shocked so were the rest of the muse. After all they never expected that their cheerful and carefree leader was capable of showing this kind of emotions.

"Ho-honoka, where are you going?" Eli asked while standing in front of me.

" **I'm going to buy some bread if i am late, then just practice without me.** " I gave my answer but it was more like a command. I moved towards Eli, not backing down until she was the first to give way. They were still speechless and just staring at me blankly. My situation had taken for the worse, i lost control of my emotions. I had to escape before i cause too much collateral damage. I was on my way to the door when i was stopped by a hand that grasped my wrist tightly.

"Honoka, what's going-" Umi was about to say something but she halted when she saw my face. This situation was similar when she slapped me, i was about to go to the door when she hastily grabbed my wrist then hit me in the face. This time, i stared at her for a few seconds then forcefully broke her grasped.

" **Umi, what is it?** " I said it with a strong intensity. I turned my full attention to her, she was shaking lightly but she still managed to meet me in the eye.

"Ho-honoka i...there...if...nothing," She stuttered, she couldn't even complete a sentence and my austere look was not helping either. I saw the rest of the muse wanted to help her but like Umi, they didn't know how to deal with me.

" **If you have nothing to say, i will be going now** **.** " With that, i turned away from her and started walking through the door. I wanted to apologized for my actions right away but i had important matters to take care of.

As i passed through the door, i immediately rushed to the girl's bathroom. The classes ended already and only a few field clubs remained so the girl's restroom would be empty today. I had to know what was happening to me, Why i lost my smile? And why did my emotions gone haywire?

A few minutes of running, i arrived at my sanctuary. I was happy to know that at least even with my emotions were out of control, I could still make some rational decisions. I entered the girl's bathroom and at my reflection in the mirror, i saw my face still not smiling. To be exact i could show different facial expression like being surprise or anger but i couldn't smile. When i was trying to smile my face was defaulted to the boring and uninterested face, my mouth hadn't even moved a muscle or made a slight curved.

"Don't worry, everything is going to be fi-" I stopped when i saw my face in the mirror, i was...crying. Those tears were falling naturally, i didn't understand why i was crying. No, i understood everything, i just locked it deep inside me because the truth was-

" **Everything is not fine at all!** " And with that those tears began to gush as my magic word turned out to be just a beautiful lie.

As i accepted the cruel truth, emotions were starting to surge to me. Emotions that i bottle up for as long as i remembered and the emotions i was not aware i had, swirling to me all at once. For the next moment i just cried and cried, i didn't know how many seconds, minutes or hours had passed, i didn't know if someone saw me crying, i didn't know if the muse started searching for me. I just crying my heart out until i managed calm down.

After that i decided to go home, i couldn't face them at the moment. My heart was a huge emotional mess now, i had to go home. If it came to this, only he could help me. He was my other bestfriend and faithful confidant, he also taught me a lot of things. He was my last resort and i was pretty sure he wouldn't let me down.

* * *

I arrived at my house, i dashed to my room. He was just lying in the corner of my room, he woke up by a simple touched but i was not content like that as he was held by me on both sides. He was the silent type so i made the first advance, I found my hands already exploring on its own and soon i felt myself softly touching the keys. Well that was expected he was my trusty pink laptop after all, i got this after my graduation on junior high days so it had a very high sentimental value to me. I even named it Lapty, yeah god had given me an awesome naming sense. If there was someone who could help me about my condition, it was the internet. I opened a search engine and immediately type to the search bar things like how to smile, smiling tips and easy ways to smile but to no avail all of them failed. Just like earlier my face didn't budge when it came to smiling. Yesterday i could still smile, meaning this condition just happened to me recently but why? And how? Maybe it would be different with a live subject.

"Yukiho! are you there?" I just barged in her room like i owned the place, it was one of the merits of being the older sister. It looked like she was peacefully reading her manga before i came in.

"Onee-chan, how many times i will tell you not to do that!" This girl was my younger sister Kousaka Yukiho, she was a good friends with Ayase Alisa and planning to go at Otonokizaka in the later future.

"Yukiho, i need a favor just tell me the funniest joke you ever heard, please," I pleaded to her with a serious face. She was about to scold me like always but she saw the seriousness of my request.

"You're weird today you know that?" She cleared her throat, "Why did the bike can't stand on its own?"

"Why?"

"Because it was two-tired!" Seriously that was your joke, i entered your room for this?

"Ahahaahaha."

"Geez, Onee-chan was my joke that good?"

"No, it's so bad i can't stop laughing, what era are you in? That joke is older than dad you know."

"You're the one that's weird, you're laughing without changing your expression." With her remark, i stopped my laughing so even my ability to laugh was affected. My situation was grimmer than i thought, i had to find a solution fast.

I left her room without saying a word, she puzzled on my actions but she decided not to ask further. I was in my room again, powered on my laptop once more and searched for anything and everything that could help me. I couldn't count how many clickbaits i clicked, just to find any articles or videos that related to my case. I planned on continuing this until i found an answer but procrastination was my hobby too.

* * *

It was a strange day for me at least. As i was awoken by the noise of my alarm clock, the slight sunlight that basked in my face and the continuous sound of "Onee-chan" resonating on my door.

I overslept and was planning to not go to school but my little sister's yelling was so annoying. I failed, i even pulled an all-nighter but i was unsuccessful of figuring out what was happening to me. All those efforts were for naught because in the end, i still couldn't smile. I left my bed to fixed myself immediately, put my school uniform but before i unlocked the door i glanced at the mirror one more time hoping that i could smile.

As i opened the door i was greeted by my little sister, "Onee-chan what are you doing? You are going to be late for school." She crossed her arms and stared at me, so even without Umi, my fate was to be scolded. Speaking of Umi, my two childhood friends didn't come here today. Well, i couldn't blame them, after what happened yesterday, they probably didn't know how to approach me.

"Onee-chan it is weird, Umi and Kotori hasn't visit you yet."

"Ahaha maybe they are busy, they are dating after all."

"Well don't just stand there, go to school now." And so an evil tyrant was born on that day.

With Yukiho's reprimanding, i dashed my way to school. Honestly, that girl should enter a military school with her commander-like prowess. It was really too bad, since i already planned my perfect excuse to absent school. I was going to be late but luckily in my walk yesterday, i developed a shortcut that would lead me right in Otonokizaka. I picked up my pace as i started running towards the shorter route.

I arrived at Otonokizaka shortly with heavy panting and sweating, note to self: Idol practices were not enough to mimic the assassin ways of Ezio. I collected my breath as i headed towards my classroom. I arrived in the classroom before the teacher could say my name so i was safe for the moment. While in the lecture, i caught the glances of my childhood friends, Kotori had a worried look while Umi was slightly scared to me. Well, it was understandable i supposed, but i bet they would approach me when the class ended.

The class was over, my predictions turned out to be right, they tried to quickly move to me but i was faster. I swiftly sprinted my way out of the classroom, i planned to apologize later but for now i had to get away from them. My emotions were like a walking time bomb, i didn't want them to caught the line of fire when it exploded. With all my running i didn't notice that my feet carried me to the girl's bathroom, some old habits never died. I saw myself at the restroom's mirror, i need to change my way of thinking. I was still acting desperate to restore my smile back but what if it would not come back? What if i going to be like this forever? To simply put, i had to stop overthinking of the future and focused on the present. My current situation where i couldn't smile anymore.

After my realization i walked towards the idol research club, i was nervous but i gathered my remaining courage and knocked.

"Coming! I'm sorry but our activities are cancelled toda-"

"Ah Hanayo-chan, can i come in?"

"Of course you can, everyone Honoka-chan's here now!" Hanayo shouted energetically. With this, i immediately swarmed all over me..

"Hehe...i'm here now sorry to keep you waiting,"I said it happily while bowing my head. Although, i couldn't smile, i could still sound cheerfully. I just had to avert my face to them so they didn't know this fact.

"Honoka where did you go? Kotori and i were searching for you."

"About yesterday, you can-"

"Ah i'm sorry about that, the truth is..." I cut my own words to build up suspense.

"The truth is..." Everyone followed. They really wanted to know my reason.

"My-my favorite anime character dies so i kinda feeling like that yesterday hehe." After i said that everyone felt relieved. This was what should happen, this was where my heart belongs. I couldn't care less if i would never smile anymore, as long as i preserved the happiness of nine of us. This was fine.

Progress towards Honoka's explosion: 0%

"Really, and here i am worry for nothing," Umi said with a teary eyed look and hugged me tightly after that.

"Yeah nya, don't make us worry like that again nya."

"Seriously Honoka, a cartoon character?"

" _ANIME IS NOT CARTOONS! Say that again and i will end our friendship right now, Maki-chan._ " This was bad, i still didn't have the full control of my emotions yet.

Progress towards Honoka's explosion: 40%, 41%, 42%, 43%...

"I'm curious, who is this anime character perhaps i know it," Hanayo asked me. Well, of all the member of muse, we shared the most interest so i guessed its okay.

"It was Itachi Uchiha, you know the one from Akatsuki," I said joyously.

"Why are you affected like that? I mean, he was a traitor anyway."

" _YOU JUST KNOW HIS NAME NOT HIS STORY! Try watching every filler episode before you judge him, Nico-chan._ " I had to end this conversation, i felt myself ready to burst again.

Progress towards Honoka's explosion: 80%, 81%, 82%, 83%...

"Ahaha...by the way what are you doing before i come here?"

"Nothing...just waiting for you to get back."

"The truth is, Honoka we have planning for a new training regimen for us."

"Really, it is easier?"

With that i managed to prolong the inevitable as we began chatting the new training exercise presented by Eli. Well for me it didn't change a thing considering they would always do "that" in every practice. But I was happy, even though i couldn't smile anymore or my emotions got haywire, i could still be with them. We were in the middle of our discussion when Eli stopped, she was looking directly at me but i didn't know what i had done this time. I was pretty sure i was behaving myself in the corner.

"Honoka are you alright you are...crying," Her remark made me the center of attention again. Everyone looking at me with the same anxious expression.

I moved my hand to cup my cheek and felt the tears that flowing again, "Wow so i guess i am really crying ahaha," Since when? Why i didn't notice this? This was bad, those emotions starting to swell up again but i had to smile, i had to act happy or everything i built up would just crumble away.

Progress towards Honoka's explosion: ?%

"Honoka are you alright, of course you're not, just tell us what's the problem." Umi immediately rushed on my side.

"You didn't notice that you're crying, that was really weird Honoka."

"Ahaha there is no problem at all Umi-chan, just let it flow. I don't know the reason anyway...why i am crying." But the truth was i already knew the reason, I just couldn't accept it.

" _Why is this happening to me? I just want to be with them, is that selfish wish is too much._ "

"Honoka if there something we could do please tell us, we promise right? That we would tell about our stresses and circumstances right."

"Yeah i totally agree with Eli-chan nya."

"Then let's go to the beach," I suggested to them. Well it seemed to be random at the moment but i had i strong reason why i chose the beach.

"The beach?"

"Yeah, the semester is almost over right? So it is the perfect week to go to the beach," I reasoned with them. I was 100% sure that they would accept my proposal.

"Did you plan this all along?"

"Aww Umi-chan you flatter me to much, of course not, i'm not smart to plan this you know."

"Well, Honoka had i point there and i see no harm why not."

"Yay so we are going to Maki's beach house again nya."

In the midst of the celebration, one person was not looking happy about it. She approached me and put a hand on my shoulder, "Honoka-chan is everything is alright?" I expected she was the first person to act like this after all she was my very first friend but sorry Kotori, i already made my decision.

"Yeah everything is fine." I put a finger on both ends of my mouth to make an artificial smile .

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I might prioritize updating this fic because for some reason i can't revert back to my 3rd person writing.** **So i'm stuck with this for now.** **And oh...i tried to write a M-rated story with futa setting but i can't post it because it turned out to too..much.**

 **Yeah i'm still learning so thank you for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up lazily as i curled up in my bed, this time there was no "Honoka" or "Onee-chan" that would interrupt my deep slumber. After all it was weekend, so i had a lot of free time, i already selected the lineup of games and anime that i was planning on finishing today. I was about to resume my sleep when my phone rang. This kind of situation made me mentally groaned as i got up on my bed in a lackadaisical manner. I checked my cellphone, and found a text from Eli asking where i was. I scrolled my phone and found 10 other messages with almost the same content. What was this going to the beach? Who in the world suggested this? Did she know a lot of people preferred to spend their time alone, its called a journey to self discovery. Then it hit me that genius idea was mine, i immediately texted Eli back saying, "I'm on the way." One of the biggest texting lies ever.

This was bad, when was our meeting time again? Which station was it? I had to get myself ready, what dress should i wear and oh...i mustn't forget about the swimsuits.

After a few minutes of external and internal panicking, i managed to fix myself. For my attire, i just went for convenience instead of style with a white top and pinkish skirt complemented with a yellow mini jacket. As for my swimwear, i just picked the usual. Its not like i put any points in this category. For me, i rather spent my money on the latest games and anime DVDs than bought a new swimsuit. With all things set, i rushed to our meeting spot, i already accepted my fate to be chewed out by Umi but i would ignore that aside because this was a "special day" for me.

Several minutes later, i arrived to our the station. I panted heavily and also perspired a lot, with all my dashing lately i could enter an iron man triathlon and won. Luckily for me, i found them waiting just in the vicinity. Thank god, i reached the station on time.

"Hey, everyone i'm here now," I shouted. I quickly noticed the how my bluennette friend crossed her arms and looked at me sternly. On the bright side, she was not afraid of me anymore so at least everything returned to normal.

"Honoka why are you late, let me remind you that this was your idea."

"Ahahah...i overslept...sorry Umi-chan," I apologized but knowing this scene, my fate would be saved by Kotori who would intervene right away.

"Seriously you! How many times i will tell you that you need to be responsible for a change. You're the leader of muse don't forget that." Umi had activated her parent mode. What happened? Did i miscalculate something? I was pretty sure that was the cue for my designer friend here to mediate saying that, "Umi-chan please don't be angry at Honoka-chan okay." or something like that. I turned my gaze at Kotori, she was spacing out.

"I even give you an alarm clock for god's sake, this is why i always told you that you need to moderate your games and anime that's where the NEET generation is born, you know."

"Ahaha come on Umi-chan, i'm not that bad." At this point, Umi would continue giving me her endless scolding. I had to do something about this fast, i kept glancing at my ashen haired friend, sending her SOS signals but she was still in the daze.

" _Kotori-chan, i really need your intervention now._ "

"Now, now, Umi-chan, what's important is Honoka is here now, isn't it?" My prayers were answered by my purple haired senior. My bluennette friend managed to calm down because the train was already stopping in the station.

"Well everyone is here now, so let's go now."

With Eli's command, we wasted no time to board the train. It would take us about an hour and a half to reach our destination, that left us with lots of time to spare. While in the train, I played old maid against Umi, Hanayo and Rin. And the sea girl was always losing, it seemed that she still had a problem on keeping her poker face on. I confessed, i was wee bit glad knowing that some things remained the same over the years. With my turn already finished i inspected the other members, Nico and Maki were sleeping together with the raven haired girl's face resting on her junior's shoulder, probably conserving their energy for the beach. Nozomi and Eli were both listening to something, sharing only one earphone their faces were so close to one another while their hands interlocking firmly. And Kotori...she was just staring blankly at the window, quietly sitting in the corner.

" _Hey Kotori-chan, there is only a room for one Batman in Otonokizaka and i already taken that position. I have no need for a Robin right now._ "

This sparked my concerns as i began to analyze her actions. I eliminated the fact that her problem was related to her relationship seeing how Umi acted normally. After minutes of deep thinking, i narrowed her problem with one of the three things: First, about her job, she was reluctant whether continuing or leaving her maid cafe works. She only worked to build up her confidence in the first place and she got enough confidence for the time being also if she left, she would have much more time to spend with her lover. Second, was a very easy one, she was in a stump. To be precise, she had no inspiration about for designing the costumes. It happened way too often, that was why i advice her to do things different from time to time to discover some new perspectives. And the third and the last, was related to her certain ginger childhood friend who released a different side of her and never smiled lately. The probability that this was her problem was very high, but i hoped its not. Knowing her, she was probably thinking if she knew everything about that certain friend of hers. Well if it turned out to be the third option, i already prepared a number of responses i could give so i had no worries.

After a long session of old maid, my hands were already stiff, Umi was not allowing us to quit until she won. In the end, she never won any hand leaving her with a frustrated look. Well there was nothing i could do, i even played badly on purpose and she still had no chances of winning. Its not too long after that when we arrived to our destination, wait did it mean that we were playing cards for almost an hour and a half. We got off the train and saw a long beach with almost no people. We visited this place before so the sights were already familiar, for example if we tread this lengthy path over here, we could see one of Maki's summer houses. Well, i remembered it was my idea so the least i could do was to act enthusiastically.

"It's the sea!"

"It's the sea!"

"It's the seeeeaaaa!" i shouted it all while facing away from them. I could still sound happy but my face couldn't smile anymore.

"Geez, Honoka stop saying my name over and over again, it's embarrassing you know."

"Its not you Umi-chan, it's the sea, the beach is right here girls."

"Well hold your enthusiasm for the moment, for now let's go to Maki's vacation house to rest and change."

With Eli's suggestion, we walked towards Maki's summer house. I was starting to question my authority as the leader here but hey, at least i could fully enjoy the beach this time. The last time we got here, was when we went on a training camp, and i suffered a lot from Umi's spartan training. Seriously 10 km running and swimming, we were participating in the love live not in winter cup. I already satisfied with my misdirection, i had no plan of learning the vanishing drive, phantom shot and the misdirection overflow. It was already the peak of the noon when we reached Maki's rest house. It was big as always with a bit western design, this was the nostalgic place where we found out that Maki still believed in Santa Claus.

After that we split in two groups, the first group was Maki, Nico, Hanayo and Rin decided to change to their swimwear and went to the beach, the other group that was consist of Eli, Nozomi, Umi and Kotori planned to stay for the moment. I followed the first group and headed for the beach, Nico was setting a beach umbrella while Maki already sitting and reading the book, this left me no choice but to go with Hanayo and Rin who were playing a beach volleyball. I sat near them until they noticed my presence.

"Hey, Honoka-chan want to play with us."

"Yeah, play with us nya."

"Ahaha well if you have me," I had a bad feeling about this perhaps i should go back to Nico and Maki.

Since it would break the balance, we played with a 2v1, the "RinPana" couple versus me. Well, i had no problem of going 2v1 or maybe 5v1 after all, "The only one who can win against me, is me," I spouted some cool lines from an anime but in reality i just gave them a light serve.

"Rin, it's heading to your direction."

"Don't worry i got this nya," She said while giving a thumb's up. It sounded like it was a sure-fire win for her but on the contrary she missed the ball. Well it was expected since Rin was bad at sports, despite of having an agile and athletic body. It was mystery for me too, because she was good at running. I heard she was planning to join the track team before the muse. But she picked our group because of Hanayo here.

"Rin-chan, are you alright?" Hanayo hastily rushed to the cat like girl. She had a worried expression while she held her lover's hand tightly.

"I'm sorry Kayo-chin, if only...if only i was stronger...things would be different..."

"No, don't say that, i love you for who you are," Hanayo said with tears presented in her eyes.

"Kayo-chin..."

"Rin-chan, Rin-chan..." Girls, what happened to beach volleyball. Why was this scene looked like had been rip-off on a late night TV drama.

What was this atmosphere, i scored a point but i felt that i lost more. They were not attacking physically but psychologically. And the worst part was this was only the beginning, so i had to keep up with their drama every time i netted some points. According to the rules of beach volleyball, the team winning the rally would receive a point and served the following rally. Meaning if i wanted to lose, all i had to do was to let them scored then not returned all their serve but this time the opposite was happening, Rin and Hanayo were too bad at this. I even gave them a slow lob serve and still scored, i planned to make an outside ball but they always touch it. And every time i scored they resumed to whatever drama they were playing. It continued until the match was over, they managed to give me 12 episode worth of cliche dramas and it was still not the finale.

But i would make this an exemption for the moment. I still couldn't smile and didn't have full control with my emotions. But i assured them i wouldn't burst like that again, i was strengthening myself for the maximum tolerance of my emotions. I wanted to enjoy this "special day" by being with them, so i discarded all my fear and worries to savor this moment.

Just like a certain hero of fun once said, "I'll leave the tomorrow's problem to the tomorrow's me," Future Honoka please prepared myself for what was going to happen afterwards.

"Ah sorry Honoka-chan, i didn't notice you. So we lost huh."

" _Don't mind me, the duration for my potion of invisibility just wear off. Time for me to craft another one and raise my alchemy skills._ "

"We did our best and still lost nya." Did their best? It was a perfect game for me, both of them didn't even manage to return the ball on the other side.

I had to say this before they resumed their drama again, "Ah...by the way, i'm sorry," I bowed my head while saying that. This might not made sense for the time being but i just wanted to say this.

"I don't understand but i accept your apology."

"Me too nya, no matter what happens you're still Honoka-chan nya."

"Ahaha thank you Rin-chan, Hanayo-chan." Two down, six to go.

After that, i walked towards Nico and Maki to see what were they doing. Well, i didn't want to see the climax of the Rin and Hanayo drama so i left without saying anything. I saw the feisty couple just resting being shaded by the summer umbrella that Nico set earlier, i advanced closer and heard their conversation.

"Hey Maki-chan, Maki-chan," The petite senior said while poking the cheek of her quiet lover.

"What is it?" The redhead said while not averting her gaze on her the book she was reading.

"Why do you love me?" Oh no that question was dangerous.

"...Wh-why do ask that?" She nearly spitted even though she didn't have anything on her mouth.

"Well i'm just curious, why you accepted my confession." Time for me to go, i already knew where this was going. If Hanayo and Rin was the cliche drama soap opera, this was the classic romantic one. I just weighted in my mind which one was more heavier, and this one was the winner. So time for me to change the channel and marathon those Rin and Hanayo dramas.

"Hey Honoka nice timing, hear me out will you." Again, it happened AGAIN. Its like they had a Honoka-radar that automatically detected me in those convenient times. Good timing? This was bad timing at all, and about hearing them out. I was pretty sure their question was related to what i said in the chapter 1, about how did i confirm that they loved each other.

"Ahaha what is it Nico chan?" It was too late for me to turn back now, might as well scurried head on and be done with it.

"How did you confirm that we love each other."

"Ahaha...so it's about that huh,"

"I'm curious too Honoka, how did you know that," Maki shown her interest for a change. She closed her book and looked at me with her violet eyes.

"Hehe do you want to know the secret?" I teased them a bit but i was planning to reveal it anyway, "The truth is, i never confirm that you love each other."

"WHAT?!" Both of them said in unison.

"Listen girl, love is an emotion that never means to explain, you just feel it. Nico-chan do you remember your answer when i ask you to go out with me, you are crying but you don't know why right? Love works that way, its all about emotion not explanation." Not really, love was produced by a hormones called oxytocin also known as the "love hormones" which associated with our attachment and feelings of trust, safety and protectiveness but of course, i couldn't go full Einstein in these moments.

"In other words, it was you two that confirmed that you love each other not me," I said it to them. Why me being single, i could give a good advice to others but not to myself. There was a brief silence after that until the raven haired girl finally spoke.

"Maki-chan..."

"Wh-what is it?" Oh no, not this again, their next lines were going to be a full-blown dialogue that came from some cheap romantic movie.

"I love you, i don't know why but i love you...i love you Maki-chan!" She shouted at the sea. At this point the redhead was crying, she didn't even try to hide her tears because she was crying with tears of joy.

"You're so unfair you know that...you just said what i was going to say," She wiped her tears and gave a bright smile at her lover, "I..love you..too..Nico-chan."

"Maki-chan..."

"Nico-chan..." The two were staring intimately at each other. At least there was some variations this time, i guess its time for me to leave. They wouldn't notice it with those looks, well it was the "special day" anyway so i cut them some slack. I was about meters away from them when i heard them calling me.

"Honoka thank you, i promise to take care of Maki-chan so thank you!" She shouted her gratitude at me, this was not in my calculations but it was nice for a change.

"Yeah take a good care of her and i promise me that you will leave each other that's because-" I stopped my words, i almost slipped up for getting caught in the moment. I nearly gave them an important piece of information.

"That's because of what?" This was bad, they were started asking me and my big mouth. Fortunately i could easily escape these situations.

"That's because...you two are perfect for each other hehe."

I was about to walk away when i remembered i had to say it, "Maki-chan, Nico-chan, i'm sorry," I bowed my head again. I hoped these two would find true happiness even if...

"Why are you saying that now Honoka?"

"Nothing i just felt like it ahahah."

"You're getting weird again. Well i accept your apology for whatever you done," Maki said still acting highly even with those tears in her face.

"Of course, we forgive you. We owe you too much already."

"Thank you Nico-chan, Maki-chan." Four down, four to go.

After that we bid each other goodbye as i stroll mindlessly around the beach. I felt the warm sand and the ocean water hitting my feet. The beach was long in the first place, perfect for some in depth life questioning. I couldn't continue this any longer, my emotions were already at its limit. At this rate, it would only be a matter of time for them to know. In fact one of them had a hint about my condition already but i had to last, just for this day. The "special day" where i would-

"Honoka, Honoka, we're here now." My train of thought was disrupted by the familiar voice of my senior. I turned my head and saw the blond haired girl waving her hand while the purple haired senior resting on a beach chair, sipping some tropical juice.

"Ah Eli-chan, Nozomi-chan what are you doing." Fate had really a cruel way of sequencing things but i had to endure once again. Kousaka Honoka, i could do this "Faito dayo" Please emotions, please persisted it a little bit longer. I mentally reinforced myself as i approached them in a slow pace.

"Um..Honoka actually we have something to discuss with you." So this was the moment where Eli was going to ask me to be her successor for the student council. I should've known that this would happen sooner or later.

"What is it Eli-chan?"

"The truth, Honoka we chosen you to become the next student council president under my recommendation, of course."

"HUH! Why me? I mean, i'm not fit for that. Personally, i think Umi-chan is better," Honestly speaking, if i didn't lose my smile, i would accept it right off the bat, but i could never do it anymore. To be exact, i was not going to be qualified for this.

"I understand if you are a bit overwhelm by this. But know this, Nozomi and i think you're best person for the job." Not really, i saw this already in chapter 2. If i was going to ask for a favor, i would try to make it a little less obvious.

"I am not really cut out for this, i mean i'm just me, right?" I knew it, that there would come a time where i could appreciate me pretending to be stupid. Sometimes, people just need to believe and everything would become possible.

"You don't have to worry about that, i mean Umi and Kotori will definitely help you as the vice president and secretary."

"Yeah you're not doing everything by yourself so you'll be fine."

"I'm sorry."

"...Well, you don't need to answer now, you have a long time to think of it okay."

"No, it's not about that i'm just sorry," I said it seriously to them. I was happy on their expectations but it was all too late for me.

"Well about what?" They looked puzzled. But i promised it would make sense in time, for the moment just let me bowed my head and said it.

"Hehe i just want to say it so do you forgive me?"

"Of course."

"Yeah it's a little weird but i forgive you."

"Thanks it really means a lot to me." Six down, two to go.

With that i continued to chat with them, it seemed that they were not in a mood to do some flirting if the student council was involved. At least they took their positions responsibly so it made things easier for me. I really wanted to accept their offer but my fate was going to a different direction. Several minutes after that i decided to excuse myself, it was only the last pairs remaining so might as well finished it up. So i began my walk, i had really no clue were they were but knowing my luck. It was them who were going to approach me, in fact i would be not surprise if they just suddenly called my-

"Honoka, Honoka, there you are, we are looking all over for you." This was not an average bad luck, it was advance bad luck. It was just an hypothetical guess based on my situation but it happened, it REALLY happened.

"Honoka-chan we want to talk to you." Umi had a serious look but it was on different scale. My only guess was Kotori told her about her speculations and they here to see if they were correct. Like a final confrontation scene on some mystery drama.

"What is it? Is there something wrong?" No need for me to panic, this was bounded to happen anyway. If i played my cards right, everything was going to be fine.

"Honoka, the truth is you can't smile, right?" Okay time for me to panic, it was only their first move and i was checkmate already. As expected of Umi, not beating around the bush. But i prepared a contingency plan for this.

"What are you talking about Umi-chan, seriously what an imagination." This was my plan, to play dumb even if it killed me.

"Then all you have to do is to smile right? Unless you can't do it."

"Ahaha...Kotori-chan, Umi-chan acting weird again."

"No, i think she has a point, you never smiled lately, we are just worried for you." This was bad, they managed to drive me in the corner and my emotions were at the limit already. If this continue, i would...

" **Why bother...** " I said it again with a cold and serious voice. It happened again, i had to escape but my feet were not moving. Strangely, it was different senssation, i felt no urge to flee or explain myself. It was like my emotions were slowly turning to a void.

"Wh-what, what are you saying?" Umi's trauma was about to come back but this time she was held by her lover tightly.

"Can you explain, Honoka-chan," Kotori said it to me looking at me directly, it was rare to see her serious side.

" **Do i really have to? Then to summarize things: It was boring, even if i smile nothing will change so why bother...** " Both of them were taken aback by my answer. I saw their scared faces but then again i felt myself no urge to comfort or ease their feelings. I just stared at them blankly without any emotions.

" _What's happening to me now? Quick, i have to tell some excuse like that this was a joke or just an act from me. Why am i not moving? Why am i not feeling anything?_ "

Kotori's legs were shaking but she summoned all her courage and asked me, "Honoka-chan, what happened to you." She was about to fall after that but Umi supported her.

" _I already asked that myself for a millionth time. Even now, i'm still asking myself that same question right now. But i failed to produce an answer every time._ "

" **Nothing happened...i'm just tired.** " With that i had at least regained the control on my feet and started walking away. I just left them, i saw how my ashen haired friend broke in tears but i just continued to my path without feeling anything.

I didn't have any particular destination after that. i just let my legs autopilot me until i hit the rocky area of the beach. I sat on one of the small rocks and thought about what would my next course of actions be. With nothing to do, i began throwing pebbles at the sea. I saw my reflection in the water, i wanted to cry but those tears were not falling. Soon i recovered my emotions and returned to normal. I didn't know that the rocky part was where the beach end, just how long did i walk when i was out. I was dashing towards the horizon when i saw Umi and Kotori, it seemed that they didn't leave their position after that.

"Kotori-chan, Umi-chan," I collected my breath and shouted, "I'm really sorry! i'm sorry!"

I stumbled and fell to the sands after that but my only concern was about my childhood friends. I was lying flatly at the beach when i felt a hand that reached me, i turned my head and saw Umi and Kotori. "Why are you acted like that anyway, you're making us worried too much," My blue haired friend said that while helping me to stand up.

"I'm sorry, the truth is i just finished watching all seasons of my favorite anime and i don't know what to do so i kinda just burst it out to you hahah," I lied but i was okay, this was the "special day" after all.

"Seriously, stop watching anime already, there are many better alternatives than that."

" _Anime is love, anime is life. Hey i don't tell you how to live your life, so don't tell mine._ "

Soon we just laughed things out, of course i was laughing while bowing my head because my ability to laugh was affected too. It didn't answer Kotori's hunch but she didn't talk about it either. We fixed ourselves and decided to meet up with the other members while walking i recalled i had to say this to them.

"Um...Kotori-chan, Umi-chan, i'm sorry."

"We already forgive you Honoka, stop bowing your head."

"No it's not related to that, i'm just sorry."

"Okay, okay we get it i accept your apology." Sorry Umi and Kotori. I knew the two of them would be greatly affected after this. But i still had to do it.

"Honoka-chan it's alright now."

"Hehe thanks, Kotori-chan, Umi-chan." With this everything was set.

A few minutes of walking, we arrived on where the rest of the muse were. Nozomi and Eli were playing beach volleyball against the Nico and Maki pair while Hanayo and Rin were building a sand castle in the area. I immediately started running and greeted them. We held a volleyball tournament on our own, hit some watermelons and watch the beautiful sunset together. It was late afternoon when we decided to pack our things, well we could stay at the summer house but the would only leave me at a disadvantage. Thanks everyone for granting me this "special day", the day that i would-

"Honoka-chan," Kotori said to me. There was a trace of worry to her tone but she still proceeded. "We will always be together right?"

I didn't answer, no i couldn't answer. Maybe if she said these things on an earlier time, this words could save me. But it was too late for speculations, as much as i wanted to the only thing that i could do for her was, "Hey everyone, come here please," I shouted to get their attention, they quickly surrounded me and waited for my announcement.

"Before we go, let's do this!" I showed them a two-fingered gesture.

"Really, Honoka that's so childish."

"Please, everyone just for this time," I pleaded. They would probably considered it as one of my antics for them but for me this was going to be one of the most important moments in my life.

"Well, i see no harm in trying right?"

"Yeah, it will be like a special gesture just for the nine of us."

"Thank you everyone, then i will start," I said it with great enthusiasm. I moved my hand forward and one by one everyone followed. With all of us completed, i began the count.

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

"Four."

"Five."

"Six."

"Seven."

"Eight."

"Nine."

"Muse, music start!"

"So are you happy now, Hono-" Maki's words were cut by a familiar sight.

"Honoka...you're crying again, did something happened." Yes i was crying but i was aware of it this time around, i just allowed my tears to flow as i turned my head and assured them.

"This is nothing, i'm just so happy ahaha. Everyone thank you for granting me this 'special day', i'm really satisfied so let's go now."

Thanks everyone, i just wanted to savor this moment because this was the last day that i was going to see everyone ever again. I would treasure these memories always even if i was not around anymore. All my promises were made to be broken, knowing that i couldn't smile any longer. If i was given a chance, i really wanted to stay like this, i really really wanted to stay like this but i couldn't. This was the end of my story, the last page of "The leader who always smile". So goodbye everyone, time for me to join the Dark side and become full time Darth Vader. It was all too late for me, i already set the imperial march as my ringtone. And since my emotions sunk this low, i might as well ruled the universe while i was at it.

* * *

-Umi P.O.V

It was a bright bustling day as i stood in front of my school, the Otonokizaka. It was the start of a new semester and from my position, i saw a lot of old and new faces. This moments, i couldn't help myself but to smile even though we failed to participate in love live, we managed to save the school from closing. All because of one random idea of a certain ginger childhood friend of mine. Usually i was nervous about this things, thinking how i could create a good first impression and how i could set a good example as an upperclassman but this time, i had an extra reason to be super nervous today. I clasped my hands to stop my shaking but the nervousness still continued until i felt a soft tug on my uniform. I didn't have to turned my head to know that was my lover, Kotori.

"Umi-chan, don't be so nervous okay, You can do it." She was really the only person who could make me feel this way. Just a simple touch, she erased all my doubts and worries.

"It's all Honoka's fault, seriously that girl slacking off as soon as she have the chance," I scolded like she was here. We tried to contact her but she didn't answer our call and she was nowhere to be found. Her mother assured us that she was doing fine but knowing her she probably slacking off somewhere.

"Don't be so mean to her, i'm sure she was really doing fine."

"Well speaking of her, did she arrive to the school yet. The entrance ceremony is about to start." That girl laziness was really something else, i just hoped that she would make it in time.

"Come to think of it i never saw her maybe she overslept again haha."

With that, we ended our conversation and proceeded to the auditorium hall where the entrance ceremony would be held. I had a deep reason why i needed to be there before its started. As we arrived the hall, i noticed the seats were filling up one by one. I quickly seated in one the the empty rooms and recited my speech over and over again. I was in the middle of my memorization when principal Minami introduced me, Arghh i almost forgot what speech. This was bad i need to stay focused. Sonoda Umi, i could do this just imagined them as vegetables. With my newfound courage, i began to step at the stage.

"Everyone, let me introduce to you again our new student council president, Sonoda Umi." With that the whole auditorium was filled with claps, i saw Eli giving me a standing ovation. And at my side, my girlfriend mimicking Honoka's faito dayo pose.

I walked near the mic and closed my eyes. I started recalling everything i memorized and finally spoke, "Um..everyone...Hello..."

* * *

After my speech i found myself sheltering at the student council room. My speech was a huge disaster, i was stuttering most of the times and i forgot the rest of my speech during midway. I rest my head on the table and wished that the earth would split and swallow me. I just continued beating myself up when i heard the door unlocking.

"Umi-chan, there you are. I was looking everywhere for you."

"I'm sorry, it's just i don't want you to see me like this." This was a habit of mine, i didn't want to show anyone my weaknesses. Honoka advice me that i should open up especially to Kotori but i had a problem doing it.

"Don't worry, everything going to be fine. Isn't that what Honoka always say." I was really lucky she was my girlfriend, she always knew what to say in these situations.

"Right, i can't be like this forever," I said while standing up, "I bet Honoka was laughing at me now."

"I don't know, i didn't see her, it looks like she is absent today."

"What that girl has really done it this time. I'm when i see her, i'm going to give her the scolding of a lifetime"

"Haha there you go again."

After a few minutes, we walked to the classroom. It was the entrance ceremony, there would be no lecture today. Just a checking of attendance and introducing ourselves. while walking we talked about a lot of things but mostly related to Honoka and her misadventures. We entered the classroom and sat on our respective seats. Soon after that the teacher came and began to call for attendance. I thought everything was going fine this time when i noticed a very strange detail.

"Umm...sensei why did you skip Honoka, i know she was absent today but still..."

"Ah...you mean Kousaka Honoka-san. So you didn't know, she transferred already."

"WHAT?! Can you repeat that again? What do you mean transferred?" I felt like losing myself. I was filled with mixed emotions conveying at me all at once. All we thought that Honoka was absent today but i never expected that she would TRANSFER. What was this? Was she playing another one of her jokes? If yes then nobody was laughing.

"It just what i said, she request me a transfer form during the break." I heard the murmuring of my classmates but it was natural since Honoka was close to everyone.

"Then sensei why you didn't stop her? All you have to do was to not give her the form right? SO WHY?!" My voice became louder and louder but i didn't care what was important was to know the answer to all my questions.

"Sonoda-san calm down, it was Honoka's decision. There's nothing i can do about it."

"YOU COULD'VE DONE-" I was going to lose myself when i felt the warmth of lover. She was crying silently as she held my arm tightly. I managed to calm down but i promise to get to the bottom of this.

Soon the class was already over but i found myself in a daze. I couldn't focus during class, my mind was absorbed on the fact that: Honoka was not here anymore. Why did she transfer? Why did she leave us? This thoughts loomed my mind until Kotori approached me.

"Umi-chan, let's go to the clubroom. You don't have to think this yourself."

"Kotori...can you just give me a minute. I just have..i just have.."

Kotori hugged me tightly, "I'm sure with everyone's help, we will know what's happen," She continued to pat my back while i dried my tears.

Several minutes after that, we were emotionally stable this time. I was thankful of Kotori for never leaving me. With this, we began our walk towards the clubroom wiping both our teary faces. Later that time, the we entered the school idol research club. I saw the rest of the members, Hanayo and Rin were planning their date as always, Nico and Maki were sitting together, Nico was showing some kind of idol video but i was too preoccupied to care. And then there were Eli and Nozomi and they were...so shameless, My quarter russian senior was hugging the purple haired from the side. If i was too preoccupied they were just lost in some garden of glass or something. In short, everyone was happy. As much i didn't want to ruin their moments and be the bringer of bad news, i had to do it, i had to tell them that Honoka was gone.

"Everyone, i have something important to tell you," I said while copying Eli's clap. They were all looking at me, i summoned my courage with the help of my lover and said the following, "Honoka has transferred, she's not in Otonokizaka anymore."

"WHAT?! Can you repeat that again? What do you mean transferred?" They barraged me with a bunch of questions, questions that seemed like a deja vu to me.

"Calm down everyone, Umi can you please elaborate?"

"I don't know the details but she request a transfer form at the semestral break."

"Hey, is this our Honoka? Maybe there's another one with the same name in this school we just don't know about it ahaha." So some were in the state of in denial, but it was the cruel truth.

"That's right nya, Honoka-chan would never do this nya."

"Now, now everyone let's split into 3 groups, there is something i want you to do." We followed Nozomi's suggestion after that, the first group was consist of Eli, Nozomi and Kotori their job was to ask the principal. The second group were Me, Nico and Rin our duty was to ask the teacher whereabouts of the school that Honoka transferred with. And the third group of Maki and Hanayo who were going to Honoka's house for further information. Maki had a car so she could drive to Homura and return briefly. On my part our homeroom teacher didn't have a single clue where was Honoka's new school but she said to us one vital piece of information, that Honoka did it with her free will so she couldn't stop our leader. With that, we returned to the clubroom. I saw the frustrated looks of Rin and Nico's face but there was nothing i could do, i just hoped that the rest were successful. After a few minutes the first group return empty handed, they said that Honoka met the principal but she didn't tell her where she was going. So this time our only hope were Hanayo and Maki. It was already going dark when they arrived and just like i feared they didn't know a thing, Maki said that Hanayo even cried in front of Yukiho and her mom but they too, knew nothing. She called them from time to time but she never revealed her location. Its like Honoka already predicted what were going to happen. With everyone failed, we decided to go home and continued our search for her tomorrow.

Before i left the clubroom, i stood beside her locker and asked, "Honoka, where in the world are you?"

* * *

-Honoka P.O.V (That happens the same time from Umi's P.O.V)

It was a bright bustling day as i stood in my new school, the UTX. It was the start of the new semester so there were a lot of new faces, some of them started forming their own social circle. Me on the other hand just walking and avoiding people as much as possible. My smile was all gone and my emotions were like a void. To be exact, i could still show some emotions with maximum effort probably but why bother. My face had no difference to a middle aged office woman who always requesting for an overtime and asking herself where did she gone wrong with her life, heck that might be my future too. I confessed, i was a bit nervous about going to this school. It was the home of the champion of the love live, the A-rise. But i had confidence in my disguise, my new semi straight haired look and a pair of pink glasses. Well if Superman could hide her identity to the world by changing his hairstyle and a pair of glasses, i could too but the only thing super about me was my ability to get bored easily. With all that said i was 100% sure no one would able to recogni-

"Kousaka Honoka!" Okay made that 99%, i turned my head and saw her. In the next moments, i was shocked, she was the last person that i believed to know my name. She was none other than the charismatic leader of A-rise, Kira tsubasa.

"You're Kousaka Honoka right?"

"Yeah in the flesh." One thing that was change in me too was when i was in the Otonokizaka, i suppressed my own normalcy, referred to it like the armor of Lord Boros. When that armor was broken it released the true power of my normalcy. So i had no qualms to be nervous or express myself to anyone anymore.

"Why are you here, you are in Otonokizaka right?"

"Ah..can't you see i just transferred here,."

"Why? You're the leader of Muse right? So why did you leave them."

"Ah..the uniform here is better," Technically, i was not lying when i said that but i had to end our talk fast. I couldn't take lengthy conversations any longer especially if our topic was our life. Its like in a reunion then someone asking "how was life treating you now?" I hate those type of conversations.

She seemed to be puzzled. Well time to take advantage of the confusion and made my escape, "Um..excuse me Tsubasa-chan, i have to go now the classes are about to start," I passed through her and continued walking in the hallway when-

"Wait, i have something important to tell you," She said that to me as she held my arm.

"Ah what do you want, Tsubasa-chan." She kind of reminded me of my old self with her never giving up attitude and that bright smile. So at least i finally understood what was Maki's first impression of me.

"I want you," She answered still holding my arm, "To join the A-rise."

Well, i was planning of making my UTX debut by joining the light music club where i would be in a band with 4 other members and started our own music anime together. In fact, i already thought of a perfect name that was "H-on" short for Honoka-on. Her offer was nice but there was one thing left for me to do.

"Tsubasa-chan was that okay to you?"

"Well, of course we would like to have you," She said it to me with a radiant smile.

"No, it's not like, the truth is, i am worried for you," I said it to her while holding her hands, "If i joined the A-rise you will just fall in love with me, is that okay to you?"

"WHAT?!" And with that she began her endless yapping.

"Do you think you're some female cassanova! You light novel protagonist! Harem queen! Let me tell you one thing i have the largest fanbase of all-"

Her reaction was expected. I put a finger to her mouth and silenced her while closing the distance of our face, "Then there's one thing left for you to do right?" She was stunned for the moment, i noticed a faint blush forming on her cheeks. "My condition for joining A-rise is: Whatever happens don't fall for me okay."

"LIKE THE HECK I WOULD!"

"Then its settled, see you at the practice leader-chan." I started to walk away while waving at her. But she didn't let me as she began her yapping again.

"Hey i take back what i said, you can leave the A-rise now, do you think you're something like a god's gift to woman! We are the champions of love live, you're not even able to reach the top 10. Hey are you listening to me, hey."

As i tread my path i pretended to ignore her blabbering. I marked this as another chapter in my story, Maybe i had a rough end but at least i had a good start.


	5. Chapter 5

In my years of living, i could conclude that humans were such complicated creatures. We always did the same thing everyday yet we yearned for something interesting to happen. We sought for adventure and romanticism but at the same time we were scared to take a step forward. On that note, no matter how much we wanted our lives to be normal, we always wished for something that would break the barriers of our own normalcy, like accidentally finding a notebook that could kill people then deciding to be a god of the new world in the first episode. Of course i was not exempted to this, because very recently i joined an idol group called A-rise. I didn't have a strong reason to partake in this but perhaps i just wanted to bet with myself. I want to believe that this decision could save me in the future that was why i placed all my remaining hope along with it. Well back to reality, we had no lectures today just a simple attendance and introduction because of the entrance ceremony. With my luck, i was placed in the same classroom as Tsubasa and to make it worse she was just my seatmate. Well it seemed that it didn't bother the girl so i guessed this was fine. I had plenty of time to spare so i started to contemplate about what my childhood friends were doing at this time, i was pretty sure that Umi became the student council president and Kotori was the vice, The sea girl probably messed her speech, she still having stage frights even with the whole idol thing, she was probably crying on an empty room and with the turn of events i would be only a matter of time for them to know about my transfer. I was just about to ponder more but i heard the faint voice from my seatmate.

"Honoka, Honoka, it's your turn now," Tsubasa whispered. I saw the teacher and the rest of the students were looking at me.

I stood up in my seat and prepared to introduce myself, "I'm Kousaka Honoka," Then i sat again like nothing happened.

"Um..Kousaka-san, that's it? Do you not want to share your hobbies or dreams in the class?"

" **Fame and glory are meaningless in the end you are the one who will determine your own worth,** " I said it in English, "Sensei, if you want to know the meaning of these words open your book to page 178, it was located in the upper part of the paragraph."

And with that i gave them the introduction that they could never forget. This was the main reason why i avoided people in the first place. My personality had undergo a major change. When i was studying in Otonokizaka, i suppressed my own feelings, i smiled even though i didn't want to smile, i laughed even though i didn't want to laugh, i acted happy even though i didn't want to act happy and suffered the consequences. But know this, i didn't blame them a single bit for what happened to me, it was all my fault for biting off more than i could chew. This was the result of my naive thinking that everything was going to be fine, therefore all i could do was to learn from it. So when i decided to study in UTX, i promised to myself to not hold back these feelings anymore.

" _And so, my reign of terror in this school has only just begun._ "

Soon the checking for attendances and introductions were over. For some reason my teacher was afraid of me, i guessed i overdid it for my first impression. My job class changed recently from paladin to death knight so i still had troubles using my skills ranging from death coil to Hades inferno. A couple of minutes later, our teacher ended the class for not feeling well. I packed my things and ready to leave, i wanted to apologize but seeing my teacher, she developed the "Honoka trauma" already just like what happened to Umi. I turned my attention at my seatmate and she was packing her things too. I almost forgot that i had some idol practice today but i didn't want to approach Tsubasa so i just played the waiting game until she was the one who would come for me.

"Honoka, let's go now," Her statement was short and brief. I guessed this was my life starting today.

"Yes."

We were walking in the hallway when i remembered a certain piece of contradiction. I quickly leveled my pacing to her and casually inquired, "Tsubasa-chan, how did you know my name in the first place?" I said it to her while studying her reaction, "If i remember you said i'm not even able to reach the top 10 right?"

"Wh-what are you talking about as a professional idol, it's only common knowledge to know your enemy." She gave a perfect response but to me it was not perfect at all. She stuttered at the beginning, meaning she was hiding something.

"Ahh so you're like a high level stalker huh," I said while trying to agitate her, agitated people were prone to give more information than they were aware of.

"It was not like that, it called researching like knowing the latest songs, following trends and extending fanbase. Seriously that's why i hate third rate idols."

"Ah then why did you have a pictures of a third rate idol like me in your phone?"

"Wha- How did you know, it's not like that i swear i just-"

She was going to blabber things again so i put a finger in her mouth and said, "Relax, the truth is i didn't know at all but thanks for confirming, stalker-chan." She managed to fall with weak bluff. I guessed i would enjoy my time here in UTX. I looked at her, she was flustered and soon she was silent on the whole walk.

Several minutes after that we arrived to their practice area. It was a huge space with a minimalistic design from there i saw the other two members doing basic warm ups already. Tsubasa immediately ran and wasted no time to introduce me to them.

"Everyone say hello to our newest member Kousaka Honoka," She introduced me proudly.

"Hello, i'm Toudou Erena, nice to meet you Honoka-san." It was said formally by a tall girl and one of the pillar stones of A-rise.

"I already heard you from Tsubasa-chan. Pleasure of meeting you, Honoka-chan, i'm Yuuki Anju." The one who gave a ladies curtsy was this auburn haired girl who was also another core member of A-rise.

"Well, don't just stand there, go introduce yourself."

"I'm Kousaka Honoka, faito dayo yaay..." I said it with a boring tone but i couldn't help it, i lost smile after all. I saw the two looking at me with a worried expressions but i couldn't care less. What i meant was, how i was supposed to care if i didn't feel anything.

"Hey, you could at least act enthusiastic about it!"

With my dull faito dayo, it signalled the start of our practice. Our practice was tough but i wasn't lagging behind, i was a school idol after all so i was used to this kind of activities. Erena was the in charge with our choreography while Anju was one the thinking about our music. Tsubasa was an all-rounder so she could do and help with almost everything. We practice for almost 30 minutes straight then had a 10 minute break, so even our training regimen was really organized.

"As expected from the leader Muse, you can really follow our pace even if this is your first time around."

"Um..why are we practicing anyway, isn't the love live will begin in early next year?"

"Well, this is only a rumor Honoka-san but it looks like there will be another love live shortly."

" _Yeah like something convenient like that could happen, that sounds like a plot for a second season of a certain idol anime. The one with nine girls forming an idol group to save their school from closing._ "

"Thanks to our landslide victory, of course."

"But Honoka as champions we cannot tend to slack off, we don't want to betray the fans expectations," Tsubasa said seriously. I guessed she was more passionate than Nico in this whole idol stuff.

After the 10 minute break, we resumed our practice right away. Unlike the muse training exercises, the A-rise had separate training course to improve different aspects like flexibility, agility and synchronization. That was because their genre was greatly different to muse, their songs were more the modern and electric perfectly fit for their turf, the Akihabahara while the muse on the other hand had some warm and fluffy feel mostly because of Umi's poetry skills. Our practice ended with exactly 5pm and left me exhausted, i just wanted to go home and sleep early but i couldn't do it. At this time, the muse already realized that i wasn't in Otonokizaka anymore. They were probably thinking of getting information and going to my house as a last resort. So just to make it safe, i was going to pass the time in the area for the moment. I was about to leave the entrance of the school when i heard a familiar voice.

"Honoka, wait!" Tsubasa shouted, "Let's go home together."

This was a nice act of friendship but i was aware there would be a catch to this, "Umm i'm planning to stroll Akibahara for the moment." If she insisted that she wanted to go with me after this then surely there was a catch to this.

"That's fine too, let me give you a tour of my favorite places."

"Then lead they way, Tsubasa-chan."

We were walking down the streets when i noticed my leader getting fidgety. I knew it, she was going to ask me about something. "Umm...Tsubasa-chan is something the matter, you can ask me anything okay."

"Why are you acting nice now? No that's not my question," She said while she panicked a little, "Um..Honoka i was just wondering if you hate me?"

Well it was mostly like annoyance in my part, me and Tsubasa had many differences but there was something about her that greatly reminded me of my past self. "Why are you asking me that now?"

"Well, i just recruit you as a member on my selfish whim so maybe..maybe..."

"Tsubasa-chan, i want you know this, i can never hate you in fact it is the opposite," I said with a light voice, "My affection points for you are already at the maximum."

"Wha-what? What are you ta-talking about Honoka stop i-it will you?" She didn't get it, this was another reason why i preferred to be alone. It was hard explaining to people what i just said.

"You didn't get it do you? It means this is the peak of our relationship, it can't get any higher than this," I explained coldly.

"Hey that max was way too low! Even a background character have more points than you."

I just continued to ignore Tsubasa's outbursts until we arrive in our first destination, a maid cafe. Well, there were many maid cafes here in Akihabara but my leader said that this was different. We opened the door and as usual we were greeted by "Welcome back master" by a number of maids, I looked at my surroundings and concluded that it was normal. It was filled a simple cute designs that could be found in any other cafes. We sat ourselves and ready to order but i noticed something different on the menu because it wasn't a menu at all, it was a course selector. It was that when i realized that it was not an ordinary cafe, it was a dere maid cafe.

"So how is it? I found this place in one of our live, so what dere type do you want?"

"Anything is fine," I said it with a boring tone. After all their selection was missing of the yandere tag, just when i thought i found a good cafe.

"Then let's try the Deredere this time, it was rare in animes right?"

Soon after that Tsubasa ring a bell and quite shortly a maid appeared. My leader told our selected course and we were instructed to wait for a while. Soon after that a bubbly maid approached us.

"Hiya masters, my name is Mika Mika, nice to meetcha!" We were greeted energetically by a black haired maid, she winking at us with her happy and cheerful demeanor.

"Sorry for making you wait, Mika Mika had a hard time preparing these for you teehee." She handed us the true menu and their dishes was grueling.

" _What's with this Love Love omurice, is this made from a devil fruit? I hope this is a logia type._ "

"Ahh i'll take the Mika's happy spaghetti please." My leader had already gave her order, she said these words as if it was normal. This was bad, at this rate i was going to be left out again just like what happened in cafe with Eli and Nozomi.

"I'll...take the Death Death omurice please."

This Mika Mika seemed to be startled for a second but resumed to her appearance fast, "Heehee master is a joker, that was the Love Love omurice."

"Ahh i'm sorry, for me it has no difference then allow me to rephrase my words one Love Love omurice please." She was startled again but this girl was not giving up.

"Then a Mika's happy spaghetti and a Love Love omurice, please wait shortly masters, Mika Mika is going to make this with lots of love." The decision of "Anything is fine" was starting to make me regret it, perhaps i could pick the Kuudere earlier instead of this.

A few minutes later, she arrived holding our orders. She happily served our spaghetti and omurice. I was about to eat when i noticed she was still there, based on her behavior, she wanted to suggest something.

"Ahh master, don't go eat your omurice yet. That was just an ordinary omurice until Mika Mika add her ketchup spell," She said, "So what do you want to put on your omurice? i can put love, peace, your name or anything just ask me."

" _The only spell i need for you is the silence spell. Do me a favor and cast it on yourself, i just want to eat my Omurice in peace here._ "

"So whatcha you want to put master?" She said to me sweetly as stared at me, waiting for my command.

"Then Czechoslovakia," I answered. This time, this girl's demeanor was broken. She began to sweat a little while holding the menu.

"Ahaha..master is such a joker..." She said weakly.

"I'm not joking, the point of this establishment is make profits by selling services and commodities with the use of the maid theme itself, isn't it?" I explained to her, "And besides, if i remember correctly you said 'anything just ask me' so...Czechoslovakia, **capslock**."

"Master..don't be..so hard at Mika..Mika te..e hee.."

"So you'll leave me to eat a normal omurice."

"...It..is ..not like that Mika Mika..just.."

"Arghh! I can't take this any longer," My leader said. She stood up and grabbed the ketchup from the maid. She written the word "hope" on my Omurice then asked Mika Mika if she had something to do, which the girl took as a cue to leave.

After that we just ate our orders, she didn't speak for a while. This was strange indeed, with her outburst earlier i thought she would asked me things like "Why are you like this?" but she chose stay silent. With our orders already finished, we exited the place. My leader held my arm tightly as she dragged me around the place, she said that our next destination was a few minutes from that cafe. This girl was really different, i couldn't understand what was going in her head, she just asked me in her idol group without even thinking the consequences. I even gave her the reverse confession to avoid me, but she still trying to approach me. To simply put her actions didn't make any sense, she was just doing what she wanted to do without a care in the world just like...

With all my deep contemplating, i didn't notice that we were here, a big arcade with colorful lights and signs. Honestly, i didn't want to enter this building it was not because i hate this kind of places in fact i always went in the arcade with Fumiko, Hideko and Mika. But the biggest factor here was the time, it was already the end of classes so these places would be swarming with students especially boys who made this as their regular hangout. But it seemed that my leader didn't know that as she spiritedly waltzed in the place, i just sighed and followed her slowly. Come to think of it i never visited the arcade recently, so might as well checked if there was something new.

My leader first went to a dance machine, it was the same old D.D.R machine that was present on any other arcade but i guessed with its competitive capabilities, she was going to ask me to play with her.

"Honoka, let's do this, the one who lose will have to obey one command of the winner."

"Sure," I agreed immediately, one command she said then it was on. Time for me to change this fanfic rating from T to M.

With that the tokens were inserted, the songs had been played and the winner had yet to decide. We were at a draw for many times i could remember and that draw was starting to garner the attention of people around us. This battle would be decided by one who had the better stamina and will, the will to make that one command. With both of us at stalemate, we put a token again and played the hardest song in the menu. During that song, i started having some flashbacks, i did it to with the muse when we were choosing the center. At that time there were only seven of us and we did some stupid things to determine the new center but in the end we never decided a thing after that or perhaps they acknowledged me as their leader that day. I was focused on maintaining my perfect combo until the song ended, and the person who claimed the victory was-

"I won Tsubasa-chan," I said it to her but it looked like she was not listening, she was just spacing out after that.

"..Um..yeah, i always keep my promises so i guess your wish is my command now." For some reason she was flustered when she said that.

"I will hold it for the moment, for emergency purposes." I really wanted to give my command but i had to save it for the time being. I couldn't explain it but i felt like something unexpected would happen in the later future.

"Then how about we try this?" She pointed her hand on a competitive fighting game, we had no bet so it was just a casual game between us.

"Yeah."

And so another game had started, there were two types of fighting games players: The one that knew the command list, combos, special characters and secrets and the other one was the player who just smashed randomly the buttons hoping that their character would do a hadouken. And my leader belongs to the second category, she just mindlessly pushed all that buttons and controlled the joystick at all directions while me on the other hand belong to the first one, so the result was already predetermined. I continued my winning streak, but my leader showed no signs of giving up, even if i beat her with a "perfect" she still willing to challenge me with a smile. So i finished our battle by purposely losing.

"I win haha, that's my true power," Tsubasa said proudly. Well for her, this feat was like beating the last boss on a hard mode.

"Yeah, yeah, you only won once you know."

"But a win is still a win. See that nothing is impossible for me if i put my mind to it." And then she began to brag. Well, she had a proud outer shell so i guessed i allowed her to celebrate this small victory. She was posing cute so i just- WAIT SHE WAS POSING CUTE.

" _DON'T ACT CUTE! It will increase our encounter rate by 500%. Think of the place and the time before doing that. If this go on we-_ "

"Hi girls." They were fast, i turned my head and saw them. Three guys who were about on their late teens with their style, they were probably a college students already.

"I'm Haruto a fire elemental and these are my friends, Mako and Ikki both water elementals." Elementals? These guys watched too many Avatar episodes but they had some innovative lines so i guessed i could give them some Honoka points for that.

"I'm Kira Tsubasa, and this is my fellow classmate Kousaka Honoka," My leader said casually. She was a school idol after all so this kind of things was just normal to her.

"The truth is, we saw your performance at the D.D.R earlier and you two really nailed it."

"Hehe thank you, Onii-sans," I said it joyously meanwhile Tsubasa was staring, giving me eye signals that could be easily translated as "What are you plotting now" to me.

"You are maybe a light elemental Honoka-chan, you have the warmth like a sun haha."

"Mou Onii-san, i'm not like that." I acted like i was a lovestruck junior that was just noticed by her senior and avert my face. Well, i could still sound happy although i couldn't smile so it was the perfect opportunity to me to test my how long this facade would last. If i was going to be on A-rise i had to develop my public relations skills or something that would make up for my lack of smile.

"Well you're really are like the sun, the way you blushed too."

"And Tsubasa-chan is a wind elemental with her graceful movements earlier." One of the two guys from the back spoke. It seemed that they were starting to gain confidence with their friend casually setting the atmosphere.

"Maybe i am, haha." She decided to play along with me for the time being but her questioning stares were still on. This girl automatically assumed that something ominous would happen if i was acting nice.

"By the way Honoka-chan what's your favorite food?"

"Ehh? Me, i like...strawberries." He was going to ask me to go to a cafe or restaurant after this.

"Well, if you want i know some place that have the most delicious strawberry parfait, do you want to go?"

"I'm sorry Onii-san, we already went to a cafe earlier."

"Ah, is that so. Well, how about karaoke, i bet you two have a wonderful voice."

"I'm sorry too, we have somewhere to go after this," Tsubasa interjected. Well, if i analyzed the current flow of things, it would be not too long for them to be forceful.

"Don't be like, our elemental affinity said that we are compatible with each other." The two guys from the back started to surround us. I looked at my leader and she was just calm about this, i guessed this was where the fairy tale would end and here i thought that i could gather a lot of data from them.

"Yeah come with us, we can talk about a lot of things."

" **How boring...** " I said with a cold voice. This startled the three as they backed down a little bit.

"Wh-what are you saying Honoka-chan, we just wa-want to get to know each other."

" **Since i already said what i like allow me to give you what i hate, i hate boring things and you three are included.** " My life was already boring anyway so it was only natural for me to hate that. I noticed how the three were speechless. Well, it was normal considering that the sun goddess that they were talking to earlier became a cold-blooded overlord. The guy from my side instantly back away from me as the casual atmosphere became a cold one.

"Ho-hono..ka-cha..n..." The middle guy stuttered but at least he said my name, i gave him a some Honoka points for that.

" **Ah, you seem to be confuse so let me inform you about** **something,** " I said while i slowly advanced towards him. His legs were not moving and shaking lightly so i took this opportunity and whispered, " **My** **true element is a never-ending darkness, Onii-san.** " And with that, he fell on his knees. Well, i couldn't blame his actions his "sun" just turned out to be a "black hole" after all. The other two were shocked too but one of them recovered and carry the middle one away from me, while moving away he began apologizing to me.

"..I..looks..like our..elemental...affinity were incompatible..ahaha...i'm sorry..i'm sorry.." He just repeated that words until they were gone.

And so the party of three heroes had failed to slay the demon queen as they ended their grand quest. After that i just played a couple of bullet hell shooter games until Tsubasa said that it was time for us to go. Again, she was still silent again even after witnessing all of that. But at least, i knew one thing: This girl was observing my actions but why? Well i was pretty sure this day would never end until she gave me the answer herself so no worries. We exited the arcade and i allowed her to drag me again. Several minutes later, we reached our third destination a park, it was an ordinary park with few people but there were benches that faced directly to an ocean view. So we seated ourselves there and rested for a bit. A few minutes later none of us had uttered a word, Tsubasa was just silent staring at the beautiful view.

"Well, Honoka can i ask you why are you like that?" So she finally asked, it would save our time if she asked this from the beginning.

"Hmm...how can i start? Well, the truth is i cannot smile anymore, i know i sounds like something came from a manga or fanfiction but it just happened." I paused shortly while thinking of the right words for her to understand, "There was a time my emotions gone out of control too but it was stable now, i just don't want to come to a point where i will cause them any harm so i transfer to UTX."

"Them you mean the muse right? Wait, so it's okay for you to hurt me?"

"Yeah you're fine, you're a strong woman after all but i understand if you want to dismiss me as a member, i'm nothing more like a broken toy now so-"

"NO! I will never do that!" She shouted. She stood up and distanced a few meters away from me then became silent for a while. "Hey, can i confess to you about something?"

"Sure, just not your feelings okay."

She was silent again after that perhaps thinking of the right words like me earlier. It took her about a minute for her to finally talked, "Well, actually i saw you, i mean your video of the START:DASH. Its a very amateur video in my opinion, but there was something about it that made me watch it over and over again. You were...shining on that live. It's funny though, i thought our first meeting would be as rivals of love live but now that you're here i have this feeling that something will change...in a positive way, of course."

"Don't give me that expectation, i might only dragged you down." Well it was true on my part, i couldn't smile anymore so how could i be an idol with that handicapped.

She gave me a bright smile while closing our distances. "The answer is just too easy, i promise i'm going to make you smile again just you wait."

"It was a nice gesture but don't make such promises, i learned that the hard way."

"No, i promise you're going to smile again and i always keep my promises." They said that lies were consisted of mainly comforting words that everyone wanted to hear but this was probably the first time i wanted something like this to be genuine.

"Then Honoka-chan."

"Why are you saying your name?" This girl still didn't get it. I honestly hated socializing, its mentally draining.

"Call me that, you idiot," I said that straight to her, "I notice you always call me Honoka."

"Well...i'm not really sure what i call you so-"

"Even those strangers can call me that so why can't you?" I reasoned with her, "And besides, i hate boring things remember?"

"Then...Honoka...chan."

* * *

My tour hadn't ended yet, my leader said we had one last destination to go. With the current time it was safe for me to go home but i decided to follow her antics for the time being. A few minutes after that she was starting to get fidgety again,so i gave gentle pat her back and asked, "Tsubasa-chan is something wrong?"

"Well, Honoka-chan...i realize while walking that i become selfish again, Anju-chan and Erena-chan warn me about this but-"

"You're being stupid again," I said to her bluntly, "I already told you didn't i? My affection points for you were already at the maximum."

After that she quickly turned away from me and walked with a fast pace. I just chased her, tried to match her walking speed but for some reason she didn't want to see her face. Oh well, knowing her she would return to normal after a few minutes so there was no worries for me. That few minutes came and her steps went back to normal, i just followed her from behind until i felt my cellphone vibrated. I quickly checked my phone and found a text from Yukiho, i stopped moving for awhile after i read that. Why was this happening? So they were already desperate this time. I panicked a little, i couldn't help it because that text was-

"Honoka-chan, Honoka-chan, you're lagging behind. We're almost there you know."

"Um..Tsubasa-chan, you said my wish is your command right?"

"Of course, i always keep my promises, just only one command though." She said while smiling at me.

I slowly walked towards her and put my hands on her shoulders. There was a seriousness in the air as i looked directly in her eyes and said this with no hesitation, "Then Tsubasa-chan, let's go to a hotel."

"...What?...WHAT?!"

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **About the ending part on the previous chapter, the truth is a already written the original version but it turned out to be super sad so i had a last minute changes and remove the whole hurt and comfort thing, like changing "the only thing super about me was my ability to get bored" the original was "The only thing super about me was my depression" and i change the whole ending part after that. So...the results are this.**

 **Thank you reading.**


	6. Chapter 6

I kept following my leader in these streets filled with bright lights and busy people. It was the final destination after all so might as well finished the whole thing. She suddenly walked fast then returned to her normal walking speed afterwards. Honestly, i gave up perceiving what was her reason for that and just wanted to take a one way ticket to dream town. As much as i didn't want to admit, this day turned out to be quite interesting for me, joining the A-rise, visiting a dere maid cafe, competing with some arcade games. That kind of things were beyond my expectations. And to my surprise, i found myself enjoying it little. I wondered if i didn't lose my smile perhaps things would be different. Perchance the possibility that Tsubasa said earlier might happen, me and Tsubasa being rivals for love live, competing on an even ground.

I would be lying to myself if i said that i didn't miss them a bit because the truth was, i wanted to stay with them forever. Even when i transferred in UTX, a part of me was left greatly in Otonokizaka. My mind was constantly filled of thoughts like: What were Umi and Kotori doing in these days? Did Nico and Maki argue again? Were Hanayo and Rin were able to go to their dates? Or were Nozomi and Eli were the same as usual displaying some public affection? But even with these thoughts, i resolved myself in this decision. When i lost my smile and my emotions gone haywire, i was scared of myself. Scared of the fact that i almost ruined everything. If they found out that they were the main reason for this, they would just blame themselves and i didn't want that to happen. So my transferring to UTX was my final act of promise, to maintain their happiness even if this cost mine.

The vibration of my phone made me snapped out on these thoughts, i hastily opened it and found a text from Yukiho. As i read the message, it left me stunned for a few seconds, immediately put my thinking pose and started figuring out what would be my best course of action. It was all because of that text containing the words that Umi and Kotori were having a sleepover at my house, in my room. To be honest, i expected this to occur sooner or later but not today. How did that even work? So slumber parties didn't need any permission anymore? But i guessed this was one of the merits of being a childhood friend. Good thing i left a simple 'message' for my mother in case of these scenarios. But needless to say, the reality remained that i couldn't spend the night at my own home.

"Honoka-chan, Honoka-chan, you're lagging behind. We're almost there you know." Just right in time.

"Um..Tsubasa-chan, you said my wish is your command right?"

"Of course, i always keep my promise, just only one command though," She said all that while smiling at me, maybe she was happy of the fact that me relying on her but i had no choice for the moment.

I slowly walked towards her and put my hands on her shoulders. There was a seriousness filling the air as i said these words with no hesitation, "Tsubasa-chan, let's go to a hotel."

"...What?...WHAT!?" She had a reaction like she was struck by lightning. But why she was overreacting like that? All i wanted was for her was to accompany me to a hotel, because my house was not an option.

"Well shall we go? Tsubasa-chan." I extended my hand at her but her reaction was unexpected.

"AHHH! Ho...Honoka-chan, i know i said that but...but..." She was stuttering while fidgeting on a whole new level. I asked myself again why her reaction was like that. She knew Akihabara like the back of her hand so it was just an easy task for her. Or perhaps she was worried about affording the hotel fees.

"Ah i will pay, i have money so you don't need to worry a thing okay," I said in a sweet voice with the intentions to reassure her, but again it had the opposite effect.

"WAHH! Ho-honoka-chan, i think we sh-should know each other first. I mean..." So it was not about the money. Hmm...she said about knowing each other so...

"Don't worry, we have so much time to learn each other later, Tsubasa-chan," I replied cheerfully. Well, we could talk along the way if that what she wanted. Tsubasa had a strong passion for school idols, so we could exchange some views and experiences as both leaders (Ex-leader) of an idol group.

"I th-think things are going fast, le-let's ta-take this slow..." This girl was much harder to understand than the whole plot of Mekakucity actors plus the TV ending of Evangelion combined. What with these 'fast' and 'slow'? I finally got it, she was referring about the pace of walking. Earlier she walked fast then slow down after a few minutes so it was only natural for her to be exhausted already. Good thing i was not dense or this conversation might spiral on a bunch of misunderstanding.

"If it's okay for you i can give you a piggy back ride, just reserve your energy for later." Well, it was totally unlike me to be chivalric but i didn't want her to exert herself, because she had to walk home afterwards. I just hoped the hotel was nearby so i wouldn't carry her far.

"LA-LATER!? Wh-what do me-mean by that? Wh-why do i need to re-reserve my energy..."

"When we successfully come to-" I was about to say to the hotel but my words were cut shortly.

"HONOKA-CHAN! We...sh..thi.." She gave a high pitched shout of my name then her words were too muffled to hear. What with this girl's problem? I was trying my best to comprehend every single hint that she was giving but all her reactions was not helping. I should think out of the box for this, maybe she didn't know a hotel in the first place and she was just too proud to admit that in front of me.

"A manga cafe can do too, i just need to check in for seven hours."

"SEVEN HOURS! Ho-Honoka-chan, i don't th-think i can do..." At this point, i gave up, trying to be nice for asking a favor. I deduced that somewhere in our conversation went terribly wrong but i had no idea where.

"Tsubasa-chan, the truth is i cannot go home for the moment, so i'm asking you to escort me somewhere i can spend the night." For some reason, when she heard these words she instantly covered her face and turned away from me, then she sat on the ground and buried her face on her knees. She just kept doing that in the middle of the streets, ignoring all the passerby.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I-i knew that from the start, aha ha aha." That was the most awkward laugh i ever heard. Seriously, what was this girl was thinking?

"So is there a Hotel nearby?"

"No but i have a place in mind, don't worry it's free of charge." Thank god she returned to normal. Though, it was a mystery to me why she acted like that in first place. But most importantly, 'free of charge' that was one of my favorite combination of words of all time.

"So where are we going?"

"To my house," She said that casually.

"...What?...What!?" This time, it was my turn to be surprised. It was unexpected nevertheless a very good option for me.

"Yeah, you said somewhere that can you spend the night right?" She answered, "And besides as the leader i can't let you spend the night alone who knows what might happen to you."

"Well, that was a nice offer but only in one condition."

"What is it?"

"Don't go introducing me to your parents as your girlfriend okay," I said these words as i put my hands on her shoulders again. "I understand if you want to raise your love points on me, but the Honoka route is not accessible even with DLC."

"Don't worry Honoka-chan, i assure you THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!" Yep, she was 100% back to normal.

* * *

Umi P.O.V

We were walking towards home but my mind was still lost in thoughts by the fact that: Honoka was gone. Our leader and founder of the muse, the girl who always had a smile on her face, the person that everyone thoroughly admired and the most important of all, the childhood friend that always at our side. My brain just couldn't accept this, It was only like yesterday, when we would wake her up then walk to school together. At lunch, i would scold her for eating too much bread. And at practice, i would scold her again for slacking off. But at the end of classes, she would be the one saying "Umi-chan, Kotori-chan let's go." And we immediately followed her after that, we would always follow her no matter what, but we couldn't do that anymore because she was...she was...

"Umi-chan, let's have a sleepover at Honoka's house." I was thankful for Kotori. If her suggestion was a few seconds late, i just might cry in front of her. On my years of training archery, it made me gotten stronger physically but i was still far too weak mentally.

"Sure, just like the old times. If we find her there, i will drag her back to Otonokizaka."

"That's the spirit Umi-chan, you look much better now." That was all because of her. I knew she was the one who was most affected of Honoka's transferring, Honoka was her first friend after all. But even that, she was still cheering me up in these times.

"I need to call Mrs. Kousaka first. How about meeting up about an hour?"

"Yeah that sounds like a plan. I'm going to bring lots of bread maybe that will lure Honoka-chan out."

"Let's bring back our selfish leader."

" _That's right, i can't lose hope now. I promise. i'm going to find her and return everything back to normal. Honoka just you wait, no matter where you are, your days of scolding will soon return._ "

"Yeah let's bring Honoka-chan back." That was probably the first time she smiled after learning about Honoka's disappearance.

After a whole hour of preparations, i found myself in front of the Kousaka residence, a traditional japanese sweet shop named Homura. Along the way, i received a text from Kotori, saying that she was already inside, but my hands were...hesitating. Usually, i just casually entered the place and made myself comfortable in Honoka's room but this time it was different, perhaps because Honoka was not here anymore. Sonoda Umi, i could do this. My girlfriend was already waiting for me, this was no time for hesitation. I slid those wooden doors and saw the sight of her house, it had the same old design throughout the years. Honoka's father was busy tending the customer's orders, and my favorite Kousaka family manjuu was still their bestseller. Soon after walking few steps in the area, a warmly welcomed was set by Honoka's mother. She told me that Kotori was up in Honoka's room but i already knew that, if there was something i needed to know that was-

"Um...Mrs. Kousaka, why didn't you tell us about Honoka's transfer?"

"Well, you never ask, dear." It was short and concise but as soon as those words left her mouth, my heart was stung. She was right, i never asked that, no one asked that. In fact if i didn't know Honoka's transfer, i would just ignorantly assume that she was absent or sick.

"Don't make a glum face, my daughter decide this on her own free will so i'm sure she is out there doing her best." There was it again, that 'Honoka did it on her own free will' answer. The very same answer that my home room teacher and principal Minami gave. What was the deal with her will? Was it because i scold her too much? Another related to anime again? Or perhaps because of...us?

"Well your girlfriend is waiting. I will carry some snacks later so why don't you meet up with your Kotori," Mrs. Kousaka said with a teasing tone.

Her remark made me blushed but i couldn't help it, Kotori and i were dating for months now but i was still like this when people talked about our relationship. I headed upstairs quickly but when i was on midway, Honoka's mother informed me about something. "Ah, i forgot to tell you my daughter left a message." My face lit up, this was probably the glint of hope that we were waiting for. I retraced a few steps back to get a better hearing and waited for her to continue. "She says that 'Don't even bother search my room, you will never find a hint there.' She instructs me to tell that if someone not her, go to her room."

I rushed to the stairs out of frustration; her message turned out nothing but false hope. It happened again, like Honoka predicted what we were going to do. But my faith remained unwavered, i promised to find her at all cost. I opened the door to her room and found Kotori sitting there, engrossed with drawing some new designs for our costumes.

"Kotori, i'm here now, i hope i didn't keep you waiting," I immediately greeted her.

"Not at all, i'm just too excited so i got here early." My lover beamed at me as she put away her sketchbook and pencil.

There huge bag that was placed in the corner, that must be Kotori's bag filled with Honoka's favorite breads. "So Honoka is still not here?"

"Yeah, but she must be on her way now. You know her, always late as usual." She giggled, not losing hope despite of the message that Honoka left.

"It is a sleepover after all so we have all the time to wait for her." But both of us knew very well that Honoka wouldn't come. The hardest person to find was the person who didn't want her to be found.

I sat next to my lover who resumed to her designing stuff, took a good look at the room and it was different, the biggest thing that made the difference was the neatness of the place. Usually when Honoka was here, this room was a total messed with her clothes, anime DVDs and some junk food trash. I recalled i always scolded her about this too.

Minutes had passed, i was bored already. Well, my girlfriend was too absorbed in her sketches and i didn't want to ruin her concentration, so i snooped around the place till i left no stone unturned. Well, that was my plan but i had no idea where to begin. Checked the bookshelf but there was no trace of being used. As a matter of fact, dusts were forming on her precious manga collection. Examined her study table as well and it was tidy with all the pens and folders were neatly arranged. Well, studying was not Honoka's forte so what could i expect. Went to her closet and carefully searched her dresses, hoping to find a pair of her new school uniform however that said uniform was nowhere to be found. This left me with her bed which was neatly fixed. But this was not over yet, i still had not check what was under the bed yet. To be honest, i was reluctant to do it. A documentary from some TV channel showed that adolescents had the urge to hide a dirty books under their bed, and Honoka was no exception. But i couldn't get myself to back out now, what was under her bed must be our final hope, so with a renewed resolve, i slipped my hand slowly and felt something booklike. " _Is this a dirty magazine...so shameless...absolutely so shameless!_ " This made me wanted to withdraw my hand but i recalled my promise so pulled it quick. When i opened my eyes and couldn't believe what i saw, the sight was more shocking than a dirty book because it was...a quantum physics textbook? Did Honoka use this? Well it couldn't be, she was HONOKA after all, this kind of things were too much for her.

"Umi-chan, what are you doing there?" Kotori asked with a curious look.

"Ah, i found a quantum physics textbook under her bed, i wonder why she have it?"

"I dunno maybe she uses it as a weight, that book is very thick after all."

"Or maybe as a bedtime story, i bet if she read a few pages of this book, she will fall asleep immediately just like in the class."

"Ahaha that's so mean Umi-chan."

Our hearty laughs filled the room as she and i began to talk about a lot of things, but even if we tried to distract ourselves, our topics always found a way to Honoka. Minutes had passed and it was night time already, i was anxiously glancing at her window from time to time, hoping to catch just a silhouette of her, but that too was nowhere to be found. Soon, Mrs. Kousaka came with some manjuu and drinks, she told us to not stay late; we had school tomorrow after all. So after finishing our snacks, we took her advice and changed to our pajamas, of course i did that while separated from Kotori because even as lovers that kind of things were so shameless. Honoka's mother prepared the futon while we were changing so all we had to do was to lie. The minutes turned to hours and i still couldn't sleep, Kotori was sleeping soundly hugging a brown teddy bear, the very same teddy bear she gave as a present to Honoka's 8th birthday. Long nights like these were perfect for some thinking, asking some questions that never had an answers.

" _Honoka where are you now? Why did you leave us? Are you sleeping well?_ _How can you disappear without a trace?_ " But maybe it was all my fault, that time when she apologized to us. If i only chose to confront her back then instead of believing that everything was fine, perhaps things would be different if only i had the courage back then...if only...

* * *

The next day, i woke and Kotori was not there. I turned my head in my alarm clock and i overslept, WAIT i overslept. Double-checked it and it was really the truth. Where was Kotori? Did she leave me already? First Honoka then her. This was not good, i was reverting back to my old self back before meeting Honoka and Kotori. Must keep my calm and be collected at these times. I rolled over the futon, fixed my appearance, put up my school uniform and glanced at Honoka's room one more time before leaving. I was dashing through the stairs when i saw Kotori together with Mrs. Kousaka, they were both wearing a cute apron with their hands busy on something.

"Ah Umi-chan, you're awake now. I'm just going to wake you up." Kotori greeted me happily with both hands on her back, concealing something.

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier? We're going to be late now." I felt that Honoka used this dialogue once, when we were late for school.

"That's because you need it Umi-chan. I know you're worried about Honoka but we can overcome this together." She gave a bubbly smile. With all my worries, i almost forgotten that i was not alone anymore. I had 6 other friends who felt the same way and a loving and caring girlfriend at my side. I was trying to handle everything alone like always, i believed Honoka already told me about this before.

"Thanks Kotori..." I smiled at her with the weight gone on my shoulders. This was probably the first time i smiled after learning Honoka's disappearance and it was all thanks to her.

"Your welcome, by the way this is for you." Kotori smiled back and handed me what was she hiding earlier, a box lunch.

"Well, young Kotori here wake up early just to prepare that for you. You're lucky to have a wife material girlfriend," Mrs. Kousaka teased me again and like always i got embarrassed again.

"Ahh umm Kotori let's go now." I extended my hand at her which she eagerly accepted. She tossed her apron aside as we rushed our way towards the exit.

"Take care you two." Mrs. Kousaka shouted while waving at us on the entrance of Homura. It seemed that i could never get used to this feeling, because every time i looked at her, she made me thankful that i felt this way.

And so, we dashed our way to school without Honoka on our side. "Everything is going to be fine." It felt silly muttering her catchphrase but it really lifted my spirits, plus Kotori was really doing her best to cheer me up. So the least i could do was to return her efforts by trying my best too. Needless to say, i never expected that our melancholy had just began.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I will be rewriting the rest of the chapters just correcting some typos and filing out some things that i rushed along the way.**


	7. Chapter 7

"Honoka-sama."

"Nghh..."

"Honoka-sama!"

"...Five more minutes please..." Someone was gently tugging me, calling my name from the land of dreams. When, i took a quick peek, it was one of Tsubasa's maid, a redhead with a long sleek hair, who was almost the same age as me. I chose to ignore her calls and pretended to be asleep. As a person who grew up in an old sweet shop, i could say that i just wanted to enjoy this princess-like treatment together with this warm and comfty bed. Plus, this was how a real maid worked, caring and dedicated to her job not like some Mika Mika counterpart.

"Honoka-sama, you're going to be late for school, Tsubasa-sama is already waiting for you."

"Yeah..yeah..then four more minutes..."

"Hoonoka-saama!"

Her nagging was starting to become incessant and annoying, kind of reminded me of my blue-haired childhood friend. I left my bed to fixed myself, immediately put my unifor- Oh my habits got the best of me, i forgot, i was in Tsubasa's house or more like a mansion. I went on Maki's place numerous times and i could easily tell that Tsubasa's home was considerably larger than Maki's. Added to that, Tsubasa owned a limousine for personal use, a limousine! So with this information, i developed a back up plan for life; if i ever found myself abandoned on Christmas eve with a debt of 156,804,000 yen, i probably could work here as a combat butler or maid.

'Honoka-sama here is your uniform, if you need me for anything, don't be afraid to ask me." She politely handed my uniform then quietly exited to the door.

"Ah thanks." This was the end of the line, for my one day life of luxury. I put my uniform and looked at myself on a full body mirror. It was really strange, seeing me in a different uniform. This might be cliche but never in my wildest dreams that i would leave Otonokizaka. Back then, i always said "We will always be together" to them. But now, i was a full-pledge UTX student and even a member of A-rise. However, the current turn of events left me with a very big problem, that was the love live. If that would happen, then for sure i would meet the rest of the muse. But this time not as friends but enemies. At the present time, they were probably shocked from my transferring. I couldn't fathom what would their reactions be, knowing that i committed something that qualified in top 10 anime betrayals. "So please god, don't let the love live happen, please."

After my small prayer, i opened the door and saw Tsubasa's maid calmly waiting for me. She guided me to a long table, where she served me with sumptuous meals. I had no knowledge what those foods called but it was quite delectable, a typical breakfast for the rich. While, i was busy giving different food reactions, Tsubasa appeared before me.

"So how was the food, Honoka-chan?" She asked with a condescending look.

I fixed myself immediately and reverted to my default composure. "It was...fine i guess, not bad but not good either." Even if those dishes were truly delicious, i had to show that its not. It was a commoner's thing for me.

"So how about this house, what can you say about it?" I really hated the gut of this girl. I only met her for a short time but i concluded that: She was reliable as Eli, smart and rich like Maki, gracefulness similar to Kotori, responsible like Umi and had Nozomi's bo- Wait, its always concealed to her uniform but when i took a good look at it, it was not that big, probably more like my size. To simply put, she was truly the full package with the afterschool navigators trio as a DLC. I didn't know how she do it, but her stats in real life was way too high, she definitely one of those peoples who had a cheat code in life.

"It was big but i have seen better." Once again, i kept my facade, even though everything in her house was faultless. My pride as a commoner was at stake.

"You don't need to lie, Honoka-chan," She said, keeping her proud face. She was enjoying the flow of conversation especially bragging her all those things.

"I'm not lying, 'one can't achieve enlightenment if she attaches herself on material comforts.'"

"Wow, i didn't know you are the religious type." I couldn't take this girl's bragging any longer. I had to end this conversation fast. And fortunately, i had the perfect way to end it.

"Tsubasa-chan at this rate, we are going to be late."

"Aww you're right, let's go now, Honoka-chan."

I secretly took one last bite before going. "Yea-h."

* * *

Although, i overslept, we arrived on the school on time. Thanks to her limousine. While heading towards the class, i couldn't help but to notice those stares filled with questions and jealousy. Well, it was a natural reaction, since a nobody like me was walking with the prima donna of the school. And it seemed that no one knew about me being the 4th member of A-rise either, so even in UTX my misdirection was still overflowing. Their stares were starting to intensify, seeing how their 'Tsubasa-sama' casually engaging a talk with me.

After enduring all those uncomfortable stares, we entered the classroom just before it start. Well, the class was boring anyway but i tried my best to not fall asleep. I just let my mind wander off, pondering my next move. I might lie low anywhere besides my house, considering how Kotori and Umi could easily pay a visit. And if they found me, it was 'game over'. During the summer vacation, i took some part-time jobs so i had enough money for rent. But the problem was, how long would it last? We have daily idol practices so i couldn't take a part-time job now. What to do? What to do? Arghh! This was bad, i couldn't think of anything, maybe a short preview would help.

* * *

 **Honoka's fake preview (Kira Tsubasa's Narration)**

"NozoEli. NicoMaki. KotoUmi. RinPana. Long ago the muse lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the love nation attacked. Only the ninth wheel, who was the master of four great ships, could preserve them, but when the world needed her the most, she vanished. Another semester had passed and i found her, Kousaka Honoka the eternal ninth wheel. And although, she had great idol potential, she lost her smile and now lacking with communication skills. But even with all that, i believe Honoka can smile."

Ninth wheel: The legend of Honoka, the last ninth wheeler. (Plays theme in the background.)

(The episode start after end of entrance ceremony in UTX. Tsubasa, Erena and Anju are walking in the hallway of UTX. Tsubasa notices the two stop moving.)

Erena: Ah, Tsubasa-san, this is our classroom now.

Anju: (Says the following with a teasing tone) Aww too bad Tsubasa-chan, we're not on the same class. If you're ever feeling lonely just call us okay, we are only two classrooms apart.

Tsubasa: Don't worry, i'm sure my class is much better than yours.

Anju: I doubt about that.

Erena: Anju-san, the teacher is waiting.

Anju: Coming! (Makes a hand phone gesture) Just remember call us okay.

(Erena and Anju enter the classroom.)

Tsubasa: (Let a deep sigh) It's so unfair, why i'm the only one who got separated?

(Continue walking to her classroom until a lightning strike animation appears.)

Tsubasa: Wait, is that Kousaka Honoka? It can't be she is in Otonokizaka. But her resemblance is uncanny.

(Inner monologue voice by Kira Tsubasa, "Should i call her? But what if i it turn out to be the wrong person? But i'm sure, it was her, Arghh! Whatever, here goes nothing.")

Tsubasa: (Shouts) Kousaka Honoka!

(The girl slowly turn to Tsubasa's direction.)

Tsubasa: You're Kousaka Honoka right?

(To be continued.)

* * *

When i came back to reality, it was math time already. Seriously, those lines were not even 5 minutes long, we were not even a quarter on the commercials yet. How did that even work? It was like i was hit by King Crimson's ability. But hey, i was one subject away from break time so no complaints here. Now, if only my teacher wo-

"AHHH!" A sudden scream echoed the whole room and startled everyone. When they looked at the culprit, they became even more shocked because it came from the model student, Kira Tsubasa. She was standing while holding her cellphone. Also, her eyes were brimming with excitement and had that stupid smile of hers.

"Kira-san, is there's a problem?" Our teacher asked gently.

"Ah, no nothing of sorts, I'm sorry sensei. Please continue the class." She politely bowed and apologized to the whole class, then she sat quietly. But even when seated, she could hardly contain her excitement. She still had a wide grin in her face, and kept giving me creepy eye signals which i plainly ignored.

After a full lesson of the PEMDAS rule, the class ended. Everyone were eagerly leaving the room one by one. Well, i was excited to go too, our school cafeteria served a whole variety of delicious breads. But aside from that, my true target was the rumored golden yakisoba bread, i had a valuable information that it would be served today as a greeting for new students. I was on my way to the cafeteria when someone suddenly grabbed my hand. "Honoka-chan, there you are!" Tsubasa didn't even leave an explanation and dragged me to the opposite direction of bread heaven.

"Tsubasa-chan, where are we going?" I asked. Her behavior kept getting weirder and weirder.

"Don't worry Honoka-chan, you will know soon enough." She winked at me as we dashed in the hallway. Goodbye, golden yakisoba bread...

" **I don't know, what is happening. But you better not waste my bread time, mortal,** " I replied coldly and with a tone like a being from the depths of underworld. But surprisingly, she was not scared at all. In fact, she was still radiating the same smile from the classroom earlier.

"Don't worry, it's all worth it, i promise," She said happily. I wondered what happened that made her like this, i could only think of something school idol related. But what?

We arrived to our destination, our practice area. Erena and Anju were there and they were emanating the same happy-happy aura like Tsubasa. She hugged the two like they won in a lottery, laughing and jumping for joy. Not wanting to ruin the moment, i waited for them to calm down before asking, "So what is this all about?"

"Honoka-chan, you really have no idea?" Anju had a shocked expression and answered my question with another question.

" **Well, sorry about that, my hobbies include being left in the dark.** "

"It's happening again!" Tsubasa exclaimed excitedly. But that was not enough to piece out what was their talking about. Well, whatever could that be, its probably not important. Also, i could still make it to the cafeteria, if i left.

" **Okay, i will warn the school about a new epidemic called 'joy' that's spreading. Don't worry, i'm a master on handling these things**." At least, they gave me a new idea for another video log. I was ready to exit the door but Tsubasa's answer made me stopped on my tracks. Did i hear it right? It could be, it was-

"It's the love live, there will be another love live and its much bigger than before!" Tsubasa stated. My luck was truly never changing. The worst-case scenario occurred just on my second day here. The love live...the dream of nine of us happened again. But this time, it was going to be different. Because now, i was going to compete against them, against Kotori, Umi, Maki, Nico, Eli, Nozomi, Rin, and Hanayo. " _If that comes to that, c_ _an i really do it? i can still back out right? I'm only just a member for a day. And i'm sure they will not mind it. But when i think of that, i think of Tsubasa and her promise. It was just only a selfish whim, but a part of me believe her. Since when did i have this kind of expectations, i wonder..._ "

"The impact that we set make the whole thing happen. School idols become a huge sensation all across japan. So the competition will be bigger than before. What's happening right now, is an idol revolution." Erena's words were filled with genuine excitement. That was a quick 180 degree of character. My first impression of her was, that she was more mature and serious than Umi and Eli, but it turned out she had this side like Hanayo too. Well, it was quite understandable, i supposed. If this transpired before i lost my smile, i probably joining their happy circle right now.

"This was a truly good news, indeed. Starting today, we will shift our training regimen between Alpha and Omega," My leader announced. I had no knowledge of those military code-like courses. But one thing for sure, our practices would be much harder than yesterday.

"I will prepare our lunches and snacks from now on, everyone stick up with balance diet." Anju volunteered with such a salient task. So this how top-tier school idols worked, they planned everything beforehand and always one step ahead on other groups. I was really greatly astonished by their efforts, they earned my applause. "Also, Honoka-chan there's a bread ban for you."

" _That remark changed everything, i take back what i said. Give me back my admiration!_ "

"WHAT?! You can't be serious. What have those poor breads ever done to you?" That was definitely crossing the line, all the bread in the world was innocent and meant to be eaten.

"Don't worry here, you can eat this bread instead." She handed me a suspicious loaf of bread which i eagerly accepted. After all, bread was bread no matter what shapes and sizes. And as a bread connoisseur, my undying love for bread was registered to all. I took a quick bite and my reaction was, "This..this is not bread at all! What's with the dryness and it tastes almost like nothing."

"Ah that's a whole wheat bread, 100% whole grain and rich in high fiber. Perfect for dieting." This Anju. At first glance, she was kind and princess-like girl like Kotori, but she was more sly and devious than Nico and Nozomi combined. Her intentions were good though, but-

"I won't do it, why do i have a bread ban anyway?" This was something, i couldn't back down. Kousaka Honoka may have lost her smile, but she still had her principles in life.

"That's only natural Honoka-san, you're our center after all." Erena said casually. She completed a 360 degree loop and returned to normal Erena. What happened to all her enthusiasm earlier? How did she remove that instantly? Like she had an ON/OFF switch. But most importantly, i felt that my mind drifted away on the true issue here. Oh right, she said that i was their center...WAIT WHAT?!

"Center! Me! Then what about Tsubasa-chan?"

"She is a center too, in fact both of you are the center. We decided it when we watched you yesterday. You can easily match Tsubasa-chan's movements, so i'm sure the two of you will do great once both of you synchronize with each other." Although, Anju gave a reasonable explanation, the whole thing was too much to take. Just a second ago, i was about to quit, thinking that it wouldn't make a difference. But now, they were barraging me with massive expectations. So much for my second day here.

"Also, our whole choreography will change now. Since the new love live is much bigger, preliminaries will be held by regions and each team must present an original song and dance," Erena explained elaborately.

"Also it's just a rumor but if things go well for us, we might get to perform on the Tokyo dome!" Anju added.

"That's just child's play for us. Let's show them what a true champions are made of," Tsubasa said with a truly empowering tone. That was a good way to boost our morale but we had one huge disadvantage already, me. Being an idol, i learned the importance to build my own trademark, a lesson taught by the great Nico Nico nii herself. So how could i continue my idol career when i couldn't smile or use my 'faito day' anymore. It was like, my level was reset to level 1 without any skills or equipments. For sure, even Fumiko, Hideko and Mika could be better idols than me.

"Wait! Everyone, there's something you need to know." As much as i didn't want to break the momentum, i had to say it before their conversation had gone too far. "I'm happy for your expectations but the truth is...i can't smile anymore." I bowed my head and closed my eyes, after that. I thought, i could start over but this was where the dream end. They were all good people but the last thing i wanted to do, was to hold them back.

"We know that, Honoka-san."

"WHAT?!"

"Tsubasa-chan, call us late night just to tell that."

"WHAT?!"

"Don't worry, we spend the whole night, thinking something about that. And we already devise a 'perfect plan' for you, Honoka-chan." Anju said with a hint of teasing. Why did i suddenly feel a chill through my spine? My Honoka-sense kept signalling the word 'danger' over and over again.

"And...what is...that?"

"You really want to know? Well, it's kinda goes like this..." Tsubasa moved closely to me and whispered a diabolical form of a plan in my ear. I was not going to argue, because it was well-thought, and it fulfilled my requirements with all my handicapped. But, it was the point of no return for me. Right now, i couldn't smile anymore but to that degree, it was all fine. If i followed their 'perfect plan', i would lose my dignity for sure. "So how is it? Pretty neat right?"

" **Yeah, it was a good plan after all, it will only cost my entire high school life.** "

"Aww don't be like that Honoka-chan, it's perfect for you and everyone will love you promise." Tsubasa gave me a bright smile, or more like an act of commiseration.

" **I don't want to be love, i just want to live in peace.** "

"It really suits you, Honoka-san. About your costume leave it to us." Even Erena who was serious all the time, was trying to give me a smile out of sympathy. " _Seriously girls stop smiling, my last bits of self-respect is on the line here!_ "

"You're the only one who can do it, Honoka-chan." Anju said, smiling with the intentions of cheering me up. But in her eyes, it was burning with passion to see this through. This girl was not only cunning but also a super sadist too. I was sure now, that 'perfect plan' came from her, no doubt about it.

"So are we all set now?" Tsubasa extended her hand towards me. She always had that stupid smile. But for some reason unlike those two, i felt somewhat like a reassurance in her words.

Well, like i had a choice, but thanks to them, all my mind that was clouded with doubts and worries were all cleared now. "Yeah i guess..." I said to her while accepting her hand.

"Then, we will be having a training camp at the usual place!"

For a second, i felt a tinge of happiness deep in my heart. But that was all changed when i arrived in the 'usual place'. If i had known, that the 'usual place' was that, i probably could do something about it. But it was all too late.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey miss."

"Nghh..."

"Hey miss!"

"...Five more minutes please..." Someone was gently tugging me, waking me up similar to what happened in the previous chapter. I lazily rubbed my eyes as i took a quick peek and saw a stranger's face? A person in a blue uniform? As my vision started to clear, i was not mistaken, she was a woman in her mid 30's wearing a navy blue train conductor's uniform. Wait! A train conductor's uniform? In an instant, the tinge of fear inside me burgeoned as i realized one itsy-bitsy detail: I-i was sleeping in a MOVING TRAIN! Wha-what happened? No, how did this happen?

"I'm glad you're awake now miss. We are arriving to our next stop shortly."

I answered with a quiet nod with my mind still groggy. I pinched my cheeks and this was all..real. Then, what was i doing here? I was pretty sure that i slept peacefully in my new apartment. I even changed to my pajamas and-

"AHHH!"

"Umm..sorry." It was only now when it hit me but my-my clothes changed, my dull and 50% off pajamas had transformed into a sleeveless top, short skirt and high boots. All of it were white in color complemented with gold laces. Also, its minimalistic yet fashionable, but most importantly these clothes were not mine, i couldn't even afford my rent this month. So why was i wearing it? I closed my eyes and placed a hand in my forehead, trying my hardest to recall something. But it was no use, all my memories were fragmented and hazy.

I asked the train woman if she knew something even the slightest clue would help, however she gave me a generic NPC answer. She told me that we passed numerous stations already and i was the last person here remaining. Well, thanks for pointing the NOT so obvious, that was truly helpful, 5 stars on technical support. But enough sarcasm, i had to get to the bottom of this. And for now, i knew one thing: Whatever that might be, it all transpired while i was asleep. Soon, the train stopped on the station, and since this woman was so obliging, i quickly went to the exit but before i could move further, she stopped me.

"Wait, miss. Don't forget your things." Things? She handed me a royal blue suitcase that i had never seen before. But given on how weird this day was, it might be mine. I reluctantly accepted it and for a small suitcase, it was packed and heavy, making me curious on what inside...

The sun was on its peak when i finally left the train, this old stop that i got off to was pretty rundown, no people on sight and no trace of technology either. Hopefully, this bag contained hiking equipment or emergency rations. I sat on a nearby bench and let my gears of logic work. Since i couldn't remember a thing and just found myself here, it was safe to say that someone put me there. Meaning, the culprit had snuck in my room, dressed me, carried me out and left me...in the train. No, it wouldn't make sense, i was still missing the motive and the decisive evidence that would tie everything together.

Then, how about my memories, from what i recalled. I was sleeping...no..someone came..she told...me that...wait..who was she? Her face was blurred in my memory. And this bag, was it really mine? Technically, by the process of elimination, yes. I unzipped it and its contents only puzzled me more, a wig? Wand? Lavalier? Cap? Regalia? and an eye mask? The wig was gold in color and kind of resembled a saber hairstyle. The wand was custom-made, i could tell since i watched all magical school girl anime. The cap and regalia were both pink with sleek and frilly designs. The lavalier was gold with a heart motif. And the eye mask had a star ornament in the middle. All of it were some hardcore cosplay stuff and too gaudy for my taste. And yet why did these things feel oddly familiar?

As the questions in my mind continued to pile up, i decided to use my lifeline. For now, i would call Yuhiko for help then the- " _My cellphone is gone!_ " No, its not gone more like i didn't have it in the first place, this dress was not mine after all. No worries for sure this dress had some money on it or else how could i managed to afford the train fees. I thoroughly searched the dress and this bag but- " _It didn't have any money!_ " All i found was a fancy hankerchief as a consolation prize however it seemed that its more than that. At first glance, it was a normal everyday hankerchief but when i spread it...the words 'Good luck' were written in red. At least, it confirmed my theory that someone put me here. But moved that aside, what a bizarre turn of events, i found myself in the middle of nowhere, no money, no food, no cellphone and no memories. Well, at least it couldn't get any worse...

For now i decided to resort on hitchhiking, this place was more like a hiking spot with verdant trees and steep mountains, so maybe some good people would come and save a damsel in distress. And to make myself more appealing, i put this wig on as i played the waiting game.

"..."

"..."

"..."

When hope was seemingly lost, luck suddenly favored my side. It was not too long to arrive, my saviors. I had no idea what kinds of person they were, but i reserved my Honoka's greatest Deredere act for this. I moved towards the train door, excited to welcome them with open arms. As the train door opened- " _GOD IS DEAD!_ " I..was naive...for thinking...that my infinite pool of bad luck had finally drained. Earlier, i assumed to myself that i was in the worst-case scenario but what happened was something far greater than the worst...

"Mountain house, Mountain house, i wonder what's Maki-chan's mountain house nya," The cat-like girl hummed energetically. SERIOUSLY, of all mountains here in japan, it had to be this one. Of all people who would come here, it had to be them. What kind of bad luck was this?!

"Hey Rin stop that, i told you its not that big."

"Now, now, Rin-chan you should contain your excitement for now, can't you see Maki-chan is just embarrassed."

"Wha- Don't be stupid Nozomi. I just don't want to get her hopes up that's all."

"Well, just remember we are not here to have fun, we are here for the training camp." So they were participating in the love live as expected. But why did the words 'training camp' ring a bell. " _Honoka..we...training camp..Sunday..don't be late..._ " Although my memories were foggy, i managed to piece out that today was also the day of our training camp, but here i was stuck in my soon-to-be-graveyard.

"Umi-chan don't be so strict, if Honoka is here, she complained to you already."

" _...Umi-chan...Kotori-chan..._ "

"Well, we are going to practice and have fun, i'm sure that what Honoka wants."

"You're right Eli-chan, our goal are Honoka-chan and the love live. I'm sure our songs will reach her wherever she is."

" _Hanayo-chan, i'm not far as you think in fact i am just standing in front of you._ " This was not a dream and definitely not an illusion. I felt tears threatening to come but i held it for the last second. They were all there...almost within my arm's reach. But..i couldn't do it...i couldn't go back. They were all..happy and brimming with energy. Surely, they would forget me after time passed. This was what should happen, as their ex-leader this was my best possible ending.

When i snapped in my mometary trance, i found myself in a very dangerous position. That was because i was IN FRONT of them, fully exposed and no escape route in plan. Surprisingly, they didn't notice me yet. Oh, i forgot i was wearing this wig, i still had a chance, if i played my cards right then i would able to leave unscathed. I quietly tiptoed away from them, careful of not attracting any noise and attention. " _I can make it, i can get out here alive. Almost there... just a little bit more..._ "

"Let's go, i'm hungry now. Hey you!" Even while facing away, i could recognize that brisk voice anywhere, it was Nico. This was bad, I forgot about her and her Honoka radar. " _I'm screwed! How can i face them? What am i going to say? What reasons can i give?_ "

I didn't answer and started running fast, but Nico easily caught up with me and grabbed my arm. "Hey, i said stop." It was really over, i had been found. This was the end of...

"You dropped your hankerchief...this is yours right?" Hankerchief? I was relieved to hear that, so it was not gameover yet, i could still overcome this ordeal. " _Honoka think your hardest. Do you have something that can hide your identity? Come to think of it, yes, yes i have. But i'm not going to do 'that'. Surely, there must be another way, it's too early to sacrifice my dignity yet._ "

"Hey Nicocchi, who is that?" This was bad, Nozomi's footsteps was getting closer and closer... " _I don't have a choice...do i? I really have to do 'that'._ "

" **That's so nice of you Nico-chan.** " I said with a cute frilly voice. GOD, this was so embarrassing but i had to do it. It was effective, Nico's grasp loosen, i just had to press this more.

"What are you talking about and how did you know my girlfriend's name?" Maki immediately went on offensive, probably mistook my words for flirtatious lines.

" **Of course i know Maki-chan, it's my duty after all. I watch and guide all school idols.** " I was treading a thin thread here, but i didn't have a choice. If i ran, it would only make me suspicious. In addition to that, i was penniless and hungry. I doubted another set of people would come here, meaning this was my only chance.

"That didn't answer her questions. Now, tell me who are you and what are you doing here," Umi said with a stern tone, judging from her behavior, i guessed she was elected as the new leader.

" **Aww no need to be harsh, Umi-chan. Only pure-hearted idols can see me. You see, i am just a celestial being from planet idol and my duty is to beat up the darkness in your hearts...** " THIS WAS SOO EMBARRASSING! I wanted to bang my head on a nearby pole over and over; just what with these nonsensical lines kept coming from my mouth, celestial being? Planet idol? Gosh, i was dying from sheer embarrassment for every second in my life. But i had to endure, if i managed to pull this of, my safety and food would be secured.

Now entering magical transformation sequence! Wig already on. Cap on. Regalia on. Eye mask on. Lavalier on. Wand on. " **That's right, i am the heroine of justice, my only weapon is my heart burning with love. I am...** " With all preparations complete, i flashed my wand forward as i faced them confidently. **"Magical School idol of love Hono- R!** "

" **Honor-chan, here to catch your heart !** " I said it...i really said it...complete with a Caesar pose. But why did i feel a sense of accomplishment? It was like discovering a whole new world, the world of chuunibyos were calling my name, inviting me to join the adventures of the wicked eye and the dark flame master. " _Kousaka Honoka, pull yourself together! You're already lonely, you don't need too much traits in your characterization. Just for today, i am not the boring and ninth wheel Kousaka Honoka but the mysterious magical school idol of love Honor-chan._ "

"..."

"..."

"..."

" **Teehee ...** " After i gave my grand introduction, the next moments were filled with a suffocating silence on my part. They were all quiet and looking at me with pity in their eyes. Even Kotori who was always bubbly all the time managed to give that look. While contemplating about my life choices, i heard comments muffling like "Poor her" and "See this Rin, this is why you should study hard" which only killed me inside. But, i had no regrets, if its for the sake of hiding my true identity, i wouldn't even mind forging a contract with kyubey.

But now that i wore this full outfit, it had a familiar feel and perfectly fit like...it was made for me. Wait, i-i saw this before...it was that time...the time... " _Honoka...what do you think about this...its..the prototype that i...i'm sure everyone will like..._ " Prototype? Prototype of what? The more i delved deeper in my memories, the more bizarre this day was turning...

"Ahh..excuse me, Honor-chan, here's your hankerchief and take this too. I know its not much but i hope it can help you." Kotori handed me my hankerchief and a 500 yen coin. A 500 YEN COIN! Her intentions were good but what was i supposed to feel about this. On the bright side, no one knew who i was...it was a success right? So why did i feel that i lost more...

" **Thanks Kotori-chan, in exchange i will grant your wish to meet Kousaka Honoka once again, teehee** " I flipped the coin in the air and caught it similar to a certain god of calamity. Hey, at least it was 500 yen not 5 yen. But about Kotori's wish, i guaranteed that she meeting me would happen, however it was not going to be a happy reunion.

"Wha- How did you know that?"

"What do you know about her!?" Umi grabbed the collar part of my regalia. Honestly, this girl should do something about her hobby of collar-prehending.

" **Everything of course, nothing is impossible for a magical school idol like me.** " I was playing a dangerous game here, prying more than i shouldn't have, but like i had any choice for the moment also i was curious on how did they fare after leaving them.

"Cool nya, so where is the planet idol nya?"

" **The planet idol is not in the space, its in your heart, its always in your heart Rin-chan.** " I had no problem deceiving the innocent and trusty type like Hanayo, Rin, Nico And Kotori. But the real problem were the intellectual and serious ones, Umi, Eli, Nozomi and Maki. For sure, one of them would raise their suspicions early.

"So cool nya!"

"Wow for real a magical school idol. What group are you in? Are you participating in the love live as well?"

"Hey Hanayo, Rin, do you actually believe this girl, she is so shady."

" **Then, allow me to use my magic.** " It was so tiring, acting all goody two-shoes. As i predicted, they were not convinced. No worries, i had a means for persuading them. I waved my wand in a heart pattern as i began to cast my spell. " **Magical, celestial, love power charge: Heart slip, your memories are now mine teehee !** "

Again, their pitied looks started to take a whole new level. At this rate, i would receive another 500 yen coin from Kotori. Well, they were all looking down at me now, but i had something that would turn the tables around. " **According to your memories** , **Maki-chan before dating Nico-chan, you used to hide all her fan letters, saying she didn't have any. Eli-chan, despite of the idea of sharing each other's secret, you failed to tell them your fear in the dark. Nozomi-chan, the secret behind your washi-washi is the fact the you're insecure against your own boobs. Umi-chan, you kissed Kotori-chan while she was asleep. And Nico-chan, there is a time where-** "

"Stop! Stop! Stop! I'm not like them, i believe in you from the start Honor-sama."

"That's right, Kayo-chin and i believe you nya."

"How did you know that? Ar-are you a stalker or something."

" **I'm not doing anything, i'm just reading your memories teehee .** " I knew, because i was there the whole time. But of course, i couldn't say it straight in the face.

"Then, Honor-chan can you hel-"

" **I'm sorry Kotori-chan, i promise you in time you will meet Honoka-chan. That's all i can say.** " I hated it...i hated to see that smile dropped. If its any other requests, Honor-chan would do her best to fulfill it. " **From what your memories told me, this Honoka-chan left under her own accord right? Then there's nothing for me to do.** "

"Please help us, we have to find her please..." Umi bowed her head and soon the others followed. They were probably thinking this was a one-way ticket on finding me but their goddess was the devil itself.

"Please help us!"

" **As a celestial being and a school idol, i do not interfere with human will. Thus, i cannot heed your behest.** " Sorry..everyone but it was for the better. " **But isn't it nice, partings does means goodbyes but it also means a new beginnings for her and for all of you.** "

"NO! I can't accept that, you said you read our memories right? Then, you should know how much she was dear to us. So please help us find her."

" _Of course, i know. Everyone is very dear to me too. Even if i left, all i want is for everyone to be happy. That's my own wish._ "

" **Well, i'm hungry let's go now.** "

"What? Honor-sama..."

" **Isn't it obvious, i'm giving you all a chance to change my mind teehee .** " I was digging deeper for my grave here but perhaps this meeting was supposed to happen. And yet why was i feeling that i forgot something important...

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **My computer corrupt my files so this is the best i can do for the moment. I will be posting the Umi P.O.V of chapter 7 in a few day.**


	9. Chapter 9

" _I'm Kousaka Honoka, just an average student here in UTX, spending my time with my friends, Tsu-chan, An-chan and Ere-chan. But, i have a little secret, teehee~ Do you want to know? I'm actually a celestial being Honor-chan from planet idol. My duty here is to fight the darkness in your hearts, hyaaa! While doing so, i'm collecting love-love energy to power up my idol level. It was a hard task for a clumsy girl like me but you know- Ahh, they are here again. Sorry, time to transform and save the world. Magical, Celestial, Love power charge! Magical school idol of love, Honor-chan, here to catch your heart_!"

Mistakes weren't meant to be corrected, it was there for us to learn from it. Surely, every one of us had made one or two unforgettable errors, which forever etched in our book of life. However, if God made a reset button to fix one mistake or gaffe in my life, i would probably mash that button until it broke. Why? Because this day, i...died. Honestly, it was much better if i met a blue-haired water goddess in the afterlife then started my own adventure with a dysfunctional party of an explosion-maniac archwizard, a masochist pervert crusader and the goddess herself to slay the demon lord. But my fate was far too unforgiving. To start with, this was certainly my strangest day ever, i woke up in a moving train without anything except for this god-forsaken outfit, and just when i thought it couldn't get any worst, i encountered my former teammates here in the remote mountains. Due to the desperation to hide my identity, i had done something magical... something i instantly regretted forever. And so, my new life as a magical idol of love had just begun.

We trekked the mountain paths towards the direction of Maki's vacation house. While walking, nothing much happened except that Kotori was awfully clingy to me today. Perhaps, she was starstruck of meeting a real-life magical school idol or just excited, i did say that i would let her meet Kousaka Honoka after all. Of course, whenever Kotori tried to get 'touchy-touchy', Umi's jealousy heated stares were there too, burning behind my back. Well at least, my identity was safe...for now. Yet strangely, i couldn't shake the feeling that i forgot something...important. Oh well, for sure it would come eventually. But for now, i must satiate my hunger. I still hadn't eaten anything yet, so my stomach was grumbling like a lion already.

We arrived at Maki's vacation house not too long after. Everyone was amazed at how big it was. It had a clean fireplace, high-class ceiling, and plenty of rich-thing stuff. Honestly, my stroll would be more enjoyable, if not for Kotori, who was cuddling in my arm all the time.

" **Kotori-chan, you need to do the designs right**?" I said with not-so-obvious intentions of getting her off me. She easily complied and let go of my arm. Thank god, if that was a few seconds late, i felt Umi was going to 'love arrow shoot' me. My ashen haired friend was pouting, but it quickly turned into a bright smile, almost teary-eyed when she said something completely baffled my mind. "I'm sorry, i'm just glad you're back, Hono-"

"Kotori, Eli is going to say something!" Umi interjected. She was engaging a conversation with the other members but my mind was too messy to care. 'I'm sorry, i'm just glad you're back, Hono-' It was Honor-chan right? It should be...then why those words sent a chill through my spine...did she...

Eli's clap made me snapped out of my brief trance. When i turned my attention to them, they were circling the blonde, waiting for her to say something. The quarter-russian let a few coughs and took a deep breath before speaking, "Listen everyone, the preliminaries will be hard especially if we are dealing with A-rise here. But i'm confident in our abilities, so let's aim for number one." While my beautiful ex-senior was successful on giving a morale-boasting speech, perspective-wise it also increased the pressure for others. The thought of last chance, must not fail or i had to do my best were surely enough recipe for disaster in the not-so-distant future.

"Then, let's start with the basics." Eli's second clap signaled the start of their practice. Umi, Kotori and Maki were isolated inside the house, doing their own stuff. Umi with lyrics, Kotori in costume designs and Maki for the music. Meanwhile, Eli was training outside with Nozomi, Nico, Hanayo and Rin. I sat on the side, watching them like i used to do. Their new steps were much harder and more complex, probably with the mindset of 'we need to level with A-rise to beat them'. Nevertheless, it was...beautiful, they were truly practicing, not doing some couple's stuff. But after a few minutes, someone was lagging behind and it seemed that they had to take a break because of her. However, it looked like she was aware of it as she made an excuse to be alone. Should i follow her? Hey, not my idol group, not my problem right? But my legs said otherwise. Before i knew it, i was already chasing her.

I found her near some trees, sitting there or more like sulking there with her eyes downcast. " **There you are, Hanayo-chan. Your heart told me you're in trouble right**?"

"Ah..Honor-chan..." Hanayo replied with a gloomy tone, not bothering to look at me.

" **You can talk to me if you want, i may be in a human shell but i am an all-knowing celestial being inside, teehee** ," I said proudly, huffing my chest as i stood tall beside her. But inside, i wanted to slap myself and scold with " _here you go again, Honoka_." Yet, i couldn't bring myself to leave her, not like this.

She took a deep sigh before answering, "...It's nothing..maybe the Muse was better..without me..."

 **"Why do you think like that, Hanayo-chan**." I tilted my head, acting all curious. But of course, i knew the answer myself. Of all members of Muse, she was the inferior one. Eli was mature and leader-like, Nozomi was the mother archetype, Kotori had talent in costume designing, Umi had a skill in poetry for the lyrics, even though a first year Maki was already in charge of composing new music, Rin was given a light and athletic body, and Nico? Err..what.. about Nico? Ahh! She had that 'Nico Nico Nii' thing. So of course with these diversities of character in the group, she was probably feeling like she was just nothing much ordinary and wouldn't make a change even if she left.

"Isn't it obvious, i'm just nothing much ordinary, i bet it will not make a change even if i leave..."

I let a few minutes of silence between us. I sat near her without saying anything while the rice-loving girl cried her heart out. Sometimes, that was the best medicine, far greater than sweet words or comforting lies.

...

...

...

"...I'm sorry..i know i'm so pathetic...i.i hate my-"

She was still walloping herself in self-pity when i interrupted her. " **Hanayo-chan**..." I said her name with a genuine concern, "... **That was stupid**." Followed by a cold voice?

"WHAT?!"

 _"WHAT_?!" We were both shocked by my merciless remark. This was bad, i forgot even if i concealed myself with a perfect disguise, my normalcy had no ON/OFF switch anymore. Meaning, this magical school idol of love was slowly turning to Dark Honor-chan, the deathly school idol of darkness.

" **Listen Hanayo-chan, you are not like them and you will never be... in this world, you can only be you**. **That's why no matter what happens, you should never hate yourself, understand**."

"...You can only be you..." You as in Koizumi Hanayo, not the Watanabe You from love live sunshine, just to be clear.

" **That's right, anger, resentment, and jealousy doesn't change the heart of others, it only changes yours** ," I added. My voice still trailed to the cold side of me. But thankfully, she seemed to be a lot mentally stable now. It just needed one more push. " **That's why you need to fill yourself with the strongest force in the universe**."

"...Strongest force...in the universe?"

" **L-O-V-E! Nothing can be stronger than that, teehee**." Except for death, death was eternal. " **Tell me Hanayo-chan, you love school idols right? And most importantly, you love the Muse right**?"

"Tha-that's right, i love school idols and the Muse, and that's something that will never change!" She shouted as she stood right at me, mimicking my 'faito dayo' pose. Her aura was much brighter than before, and her eyes had the usual glint of life. I was glad...even in this state, i still managed to help her. "Thanks Honoka-chan, i'm all better now." It took those words few seconds to register in my brain.

" _WHAT DID YOU SAY_?!" She said 'Honoka-chan' right? Wha-what happened? How did she find me out? I thought my acting was fool-proof. Was this because of the lack of 'teehee~'? This was bad, truly bad...what should i do? Now, Honoka you should calm yourself first. I didn't have any mind-erasing magic spells like in some anime, so i had to improvise. I read in some manga books that if you hit hard the back of the neck, the person would faint immediately. Well, time to know if it was the same for real life. " _Step one, distract her attention and make her sure to turn away from me. Step two, chop her in the nape assassin-style. Step three, after fainting, leave her there. Step four, when she wakes up, approach her like nothing happen and tell her that earlier it's just a dream. Step five, profit and appreciate how smart you are_."

I praised myself for devising a sound plan in a short amount of time and immediately put it in action. I stood near her and pointed my finger towards the direction out of her line of sight, acting all shocked. " **Ah, is that a high-quality Basmati rice over there**?!"

The rice-loving girl fully trusted my words and quickly turned her head, just according to keikaku. ( Translation note: Keikaku means plan)

"Really where, where? I don't see a thing..."

" _Sorry, Hanayo-chan...but no one must know who i really am_..."

" **It was there a second ago, just keep looking, teehee** ~" Step one complete.

" _THIS IS IT_!" My eyes lit as i held my right hand, centering my target to the upper part of her neck. But before i could give a high-speed chop, Hanayo spoke, "Ah, by the way, i'm sorry Honor-chan, my tongue slipped..." She said while frantically searching around. "I said Honoka-chan instead of Honor-chan. How embarrassing...it's just Honoka-chan always cheer me up like that whenever i'm feeling down. So, i guess..."

" **No worries Hanayo-chan, At first, i was startled, comparing a higher cosmic being like me, to a boring bread-lover like Honoka-chan. I mean, we're totally not related at all, this Honoka-chan ehe ehe ehe**." I could only laugh awkwardly while i shook my head and crossed my arms, hoping that she couldn't catch my hidden intentions earlier. " **But you know, the stars told me that where ever Honoka-chan is, she is doing her best. That's why you need to do your best too, teehee** ~" Well, she was doing her best alright, her best to hide away from you.

"You're right Honor-chan. Thank you, really thank you. I'm going back to the others, the new steps may be hard but i won't give up." With her newfound courage, she bowed her head and made her way to the practice site.

I waved her goodbye and shouted, " **Remember, L-O-V-E! And your heart will be always in the right place**."

After cheering Hanayo up, i planned to return to the vacation house, hoping to satiate the growling lion in my stomach. But on my way there, i spotted the raven-haired girl. She had a troubled face as she looked up at the big tree. Obviously, i ignored her and chose my stomach first. I crept away from her, muffling any noise. " _This time for sure, i level up my sneaking for this. I can do this...almost there_..."

"Honor-sama, there you are!" Seriously, did this girl have a built-in Honoka radar in her? Why was this scenario always happening? I concealed my defeated sigh before approaching her, asking her what was the problem.

" **Oh Nico-chan, my celestial sense is tingling again, you're in trouble right**?" I didn't have to be a mind-reader to know what she was thinking, i could easily trace it in the slightest actions. Based on how she looked on that tree, i bet that was the root of her problem. " _Get it, tree... root...oh nevermind_."

"Ahh Honor-sama, you're right as always. You see, this squirrel over here took my prized wristband." That pink wristband she was talking about, was the one Cocoa gave to her when she started her idol career on her first year, which didn't end well. Even so, she still kept it as a good luck charm over the years.

" **Nico-chan, did you forget already, you're speaking to an all-powerful heavenly persona. Mou, it's looks like i have to demonstrate my magic again**." I began waving my wand on a heart pattern while chanting my magical idol spell. " **Magical, Celestial, Love power charge: Honor-KICK**!" After casting, i kicked the tree with all my might. The leaves fell and so Nico's wristband too. I caught it coolly with my wand, then handed to my ex-club president with a cute wink. Mission complete, no magic needed. " **Here Nico-chan, important things should always keep close** ~"

"Thank you...Honor-sama!" Nico said with complete devotion. I confess, seeing the petite girl all polite and nice was quite a refreshing view for a change.

" **No worries, nothing is impossible for a magical school idol like me** ," I said with a cute tone and pose. But enough talking and more eating. " **But you know Nico-chan, using my spells quickly deplete my star energy, i need to replenish it with human food teehee** ~" Actually, using my spells made me slowly die inside. So embarrassing! Where did i get those ideas anyway? It was even made with a complete anime-like synopsis. Note to self: Limit me from watching any anime with magical school girl setting.

"Of course Honor-sama, i will prepare a grandest of feast for you."

We walked our way towards the mountain house then entered the kitchen, the whole place was sparkling clean with the utensils neatly arranged and the refrigerator packed with foods. Seeing these things only raised my expectations. What kind of meals did Nico make? I sat on the kitchen stool, humming happily while waiting for my 'grandest of feast' to arrive.

"Here Honor-sama, i made it with the finest ingredients."

As Nico presented me her meal, i couldn't help to show enthusiasm. It had been a very bad day, but finally its eating time. I tightened my grip on my spoon and fork as i let my eyes gaze on...tomato? " _What's this? Tomato salad, tomato juice, tomato pasta, tomato salsa, tomato tarts, roasted tomato, tomato quiche, grilled tomato, tomato, tomatotomato, tomatotomatotomato, tomatotomatotomatotomato. Arghh! What's with all the tomato madness_!"

" **Umm..Nico-chan..what is...this**?" I asked meekly. I tasted her cooking before when we went on the beach training camp. Even though she only cooked simple dishes back then, everything was all delicious. But now...

"It's all tomatoes, Maki loves tomatoes, Honor-sama." Even her eyes were reflecting tomatoes, since when did Nico become a tomato maniac. " _Nico-chan what happened to you? Somebody! Anybody! Save me from this tomato hell_!"

"What's the problem, Honor-sama...do you not like..tomatoes..." The raven-haired girl noticed that i hadn't touched the food and asked it with a cold voice. Her eyes were almost lifeless as she held...a knife with an almost stabbing stance. It was then when i understood everything, i misanalyzed...this girl wasn't a tomato maniac, she was...a **tomato yandere**!

" **It's not like that but..i think having..meat is better, Honor-chan is a growing girl after all tee..hee**.."

The short girl banged her fists loudly on the table. "No! Those things were bad for you. C'mon Honor-sama just a bite, i promise you will like it, just like Maki..."

" _Nico-chan, you're scaring me right now_..."

"Just a bite Honor-sama...once you taste it..." She got herself a spoon, then scooped some tomato salad, forcefully shoving it closer to my mouth. But when it was inches away, her spoon was intercepted with my fork.

" **Nico...i said i wanted meat right**?" Dark Honor-chan appeared! This was bad...very bad, this was the worst time to lose my normalcy. My remark left Nico shaking out of anger. But surprisingly, i was pretty relaxed, staring at her with no fears in my eyes.

"Why can't you see Honor-sama? I'm just doing this for your own good...tomatoes are the best! Tomato is all you need, ha ha ha ha!" She lost it! She was now laughing like a crazy person. Yet, my dark self remained unwavering. I stood up from my seat, passed Nico, went to the fridge and started selecting the ingredients.

"...Honor-sama..what are you doing?" The tomato yandere asked with a scary-quiet tone.

" **If you are not going to cook it for me, then i'll do it myself** ," I answered shortly. I chopped off some meat and started heating the pan.

"Too bad...ha ha ha...it was really too bad...HOONOOR-SAMAA...Ha ha ha."

" **Yeah**.." I replied plainly. I planned to make a raw grilled steak and prepared the sauce shortly with Worcestershire, mustard, honey and much more condiments i could find. " _Wait! Isn't this the part where i will be super scared of facing this tomato yandere? So why i am so calm as an ocean about this_?"

"Aha haha ha..." Nico gave a broken laugh before saying something really scary. "...Then, If you're not going to taste it for me, then i will force you myself..."

" **Sure, feel free to try,"** Once again, I said casually. I even sipped the sauce, tasting if it was delicious. " _Still lacking, maybe mayonnaise will suffice_." Meanwhile, Nico was slowly creeping from behind, i knew she had something with her hands but i was too hungry to care.

"...Honor-sama from now on..we will always be with tomatoes..." After muttering that, she stabbed me with a tomato-designed fork which i quickly parried. She was not aiming at my vital spots at all...NO! IT WAS A TRAP! In her other hand, i saw...raw tomatoes! The first strike was a clear diversion, she was planning to add tomatoes in my sauce from the start. On that moment, everything was in slow-mo. It was a matter of who was quicker, her hand against mine. It was a heart-stopping moment for me, but in the end my fingers prevailed.

" **Yare yare daze...you almost spoiled my sauce**..." I posed on 45-degree angle while fixing the tip of my cap. Why did i suddenly become super cool? My wig looked like it fused to my cap and i was overflowing with masculinity. On top of that, i easily restrained Nico with only using one hand, but the raven haired girl was still not admitting defeat. "TOMATOOOOOOOO!" Even in her final words, she was a lost case. Yet, i knew it was not her fault.

 **"...I see you've fallen already my friend. Deathly, Chaotic, Darkness power charge: Dark Honor-PUNCH! ORA**!" After casting, my fist buried on Nico squarely to her stomach. It made a cracking sound and left my ex-club president excruciating pain with her knees slowly meeting the floor.

Before completely passing out, i moved my face to her ear and whispered, "Your **darkness...is way too bright for me**." Then, i walked away, not even looking back. Seriously, since when did i become a total badass, this was mildly disturbing. I acknowledged two things that day: First, i was traumatized by tomatoes. And the second, i was more afraid to myself than any other scary people out there.

" **Nico-chan are you alive? Please answer**..."

And so, i ate my steak peacefully with an extra serving of unconscious Nico on the floor.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..Nr..gh..."

" **Nico-chan, Nico-chan**..."

"...Honor-sama...what happened?"

" **The darkness of your heart has taken over you. Good thing, i'm here teehee** ~" I used the remnants of my original plan on Nico. Well, i couldn't really say, " _You tried to add tomatoes to my sauce, so i punch you so hard that you lose consciousness_."

"I remember now...i tried to...i tried to...sorry Honor-sama.." The short girl said while on the verge of crying.

" **It's alright, don't cry. It's all the tomatoes' fault. Tell me Nico-chan, is there something stressing you lately**?" So stressing she assaulted me, merely because of tomatoes.

"Well...it's because of Maki-chan. You know we always fight back then right? But now, everything is fine...it's just..i don't want to return to that anymore. I love Maki, and if she loves something, then i must love it too right..." Well, that explained the whole tomato obsession thing. Obviously, i had to do something about this, or else i would be facing another tomato dish on dinner.

" **Listen Nico-chan, there's no right way or wrong way to love. We all love someone. But you know, love is not only for others, you have to love yourself too,"** I said with a saintly voice while holding Nico's hand, basking her with my divine magical idol aura. " **Even though you feel Maki-chan is your world now, you've your own world before meeting Maki-chan right? Every day our world is expanding, so don't limit it only to one person okay**."

"...Honor-sama..."

" **For now, you should rest first, i know your stomach in pain. Don't worry, i will cast a healing spell on it shortly**."

"Thank you Honor-sama...umm how did you know that my stomach is hurting?"

" **Ack- I-i know because...i'm...an intergalactic being from another planet. Mou, Nico-chan forgot already** ~" Seriously, just how long this facade would last, it was like carrying a time bomb that could explode any second.

"..Ahh it's not like that Honor-sama..but i need to cook first. The others might be hungry now."

And so, Nico cooked again, this time reverting back to her old cooking. After that, she went to Maki, who was composing her music on the first floor. This left me to deliver food to Umi and Kotori on the second floor. Well, i couldn't refuse, after all i needed to give the feisty couple some time to discuss things with each other. I walked my way on the higher floor and chose Umi's room first. I didn't want to fully go to her bad side, so i figured it might be a good chance to lessen the hostility.

" **Umi-chan, Umi-chan, i have some snacks and refreshments teehee** ~" No response huh, that was expected. But the second floor was strangely quiet today...did something happen or maybe she was in the zone in composing the lyrics.

" **Umi-chan i'm coming in**..." Still no response. Well, no use of just standing here. I pulled the doorknob and entered the room, however the blue haired girl was nowhere to be found. I did find a note on the study table saying, "Don't look for me. - Sonoda Umi."

"She's fine, she's a growing girl after all," I mumbled, trying to convince myself. At least, Kotori wasn't like that right?

That was my expectations, but when i went to Kotori's room, it was deja vu all over again. This time, a sign with the words 'help me' was there, hanging on the wall. After that, i was quickly approached by Nico, who had a worried expression on her face. "Honor-sama, Maki is missing!"

" **I know, so were Kotori-chan and Umi-chan. Nico-chan tell the others to meet back at the living room. Leave those three to me**."

I ran outside with my heart getting heavier and heavier. " _Girls where are you? Don't go full Honoka you hear_." I was exhausted, plus the restlessness was creeping over me. But i had to go on...i had to find them. If anything happened to them, i couldn't...

As i let my eyes thoroughly scan the area, i found them easily...all the three of them. They were all outside not too far from the house, sulking there like Hanayo earlier. Well, that was anticlimactic.

We were back in the living room, the raven-haired girl rallied the others just as i ordered. I stood to the side and let Eli do her thing.

"So what happened?"

"I'm sorry, i couldn't think of anything for the lyrics..." Umi apologized as she bowed her head.

"Me too, i really tried but i'm in a slump today." Kotori followed with the same tone.

"Well, i'm not like them, i..i just want to breath fresh air," Maki said, still acting all high and mighty, but it wasn't convincing anyone.

"Ehh but Maki-chan, your music sheets were all blank nya."

"That's because-"

"That's enough" Eli clapped her hands but that didn't establish the order. Everyone was distressed and falling apart. Comments like "so what now?", "if we can't present a new song, we can't win the love live." and "we also have to beat the A-rise..." didn't help much either as it only increased the tension in the small living room. Goodness gracious, i was only gone for a few days and this was already happening. In the midst of this, Eli was staring at me, i wasn't the dense type so i immediately knew she was asking for my help or intervention. Those eye stares could be easily translated as " _Oh great and beautiful Honor-sama, i know i'm not worthy of your ever-shining radiance yet we seek your limitless knowledge to help us in our hour of dire_." But again, i had nothing to do with them...not anymore, in fact i could bid my farewell now that i already accomplished my goal here.

"Maybe we should...quit nya..." That remark took everyone by surprise even me because it came from the usually energetic and cheerful Rin. On the contrary now, she had a pained expression which was similar to mine back then.

"Wha-what are you saying Rin, didn't we promise to join the love live together!" Nico shouted with a familiar anger. It was the same face she showed when i said the words 'i quit' to her before. She was about to approach Rin, giving her a piece of her mind when her lover stopped her...just like that day.

"...Rin-chan..."

"I know i'm stupid but tell me how can we join the love live, we can't even make a song, our leader is gone and we have to beat the A-rise nya." A dead silence filled the air. Nico managed to calm down and everyone had their eyes downcast. Not even Eli or Nozomi knew what to say. Because it was the truth, Rin spoke what everyone fearing in their minds. After all, we weren't in some sort of anime where we could win things through the power of friendship because plot armor didn't exist in real life.

"Don't be like that, i can make the lyrics just give me some time..."

"So can you make it before the preliminaries nya?" Umi flinched, destroying the feeble reassurance she set a few seconds ago.

"I-i think Rin is right..." The redhead reluctantly raised her hand. "...Logically speaking, the hurdles are just too high this time.."

"Maki, how could you!" The raven-haired girl was on with her pointless rage again.

"Don't fight, Eli-chan do something." Kotori looked at Eli for guidance but the quarter russian was out of words.

" **Magical, Celestial, Love power charge: Heart Shower**!" I shouted, making sure to garner their attention. I prepared to give myself a mental beating after, but for now i had to help them. I couldn't stand seeing them like this, drifting apart from each other. " **Now don't worry, i cast my spell. Everything is fine now teehee** ~" I said with a sweet voice, trying to smooth out the heavy tension. Some of them were pacified while some were clearly pissed, replying with...

"How can you say that? Can't you see! Everything is not-"

" **Everything is going to be fine Umi-chan. Trust me, a magical school idol never lies**." I felt stupid for muttering those fake words again, nevertheless my intentions were true. " **For now, let's split into three groups, each one for Maki-chan, Umi-chan, and Kotori-chan. And help them in their things**."

"But, Honor-chan what about our practice..."

" **Well, if you can't make a song, you can't practice. That's why it's our priority number one right now**." I solved their problem through logic. But still, it was very strange, seeing Eli became this...unassertive. Nozomi anxiously looked at her lover, mentally asking what was the problem. But the quarter russian evaded any eye contact and meekly said, "Ah..let's follow her for now.." The rest were looking at the blonde too, questioning her if they should listen to me. But it was shrugged off instantly when Kotori, Nico, and Hanayo quickly gave their approval.

"With Honor-sama on our side, nothing could go wrong," The raven-haired girl said confidently as if endorsing me to rest of the Muse.

"That's right, Honor-chan is the real deal. She is really someone from another planet." Hanayo added with full enthusiasm.

"Well, why don't we follow her, at least we have a goal now." Kotori giggled. While i understood why Nico and Hanayo were completely enamored to me, the one that baffled my mind was Kotori. Why she was so clingy earlier? And why did she side with me, a total stranger in her perspective?

"Well...i guess it's decided then..." Umi announced bitterly. Everyone nodded and accepted my temporary leadership for now.

Like i suggested, we split into three groups: The first group had Maki, Nico, and Eli. The second group consisted of Umi, Nozomi, and Rin. And the last group were only a duo of Hanayo and Kotori. Me? I was a wild card so i could group where ever i want, plus i needed to supervise them so i would be shifting groups from time to time. This was really weird because i felt like i became their leader again. But at the very least, as their ex-leader and temporary leader i wanted to set things straight, maybe that would lower the guilt that i was feeling.

I went to the group one first, mainly because of Eli and her weird behavior earlier. I never saw her this...passive. Surely, something must've happened. I found the redhead and the raven-haired girl still inside the house but the blonde was missing. When i asked where Eli was, Nico eagerly answered that she went in the storage room, looking for some camping equipment.

I trod my path towards the storage room, then entered it shortly. The whole room was dark, hanging only with a blinking faint light like Nico trying to fix her grades. It was also full of boxes and almost like a labyrinth with its area. Why did Eli choose to go here all by herself? She was afraid of the dark right? " **Eli-chan, Eli-chan**..." I shouted her name while dusting my magical school idol outfit.

"Who's there? Honor-chan...Honor-chan is that you?" At least, i got a response this time but her voice was meek and shaky.

" **Yeah, where are you**?" I asked while trying to locate her voice.

"I really can't say, there were boxes everywhere. I did find the camping gears though." She shouted back. Luckily, it took me a little time to find her. She was carrying a couple of bags on herself, probably some portable tents and sleeping bags. We both had relief in our eyes when we saw each other. "Thank God, if this some other cliche fanfic. This will be the time where the door will close on its own, locking us here and forcing us to have a heartwarming talk with each other."

" **Well, let's go back, the others must be worrying about us teehee~** " I extended my arm, offering to carry the sleeping bags.

"Yeah." She smiled at me and gladly took my offer. While a few meters from the exit, we started to hear voices. We were happy at first, thinking perhaps they were really looking for us. But our happiness turned into a horror when we started to piece out what they were talking about.

"Rin, what are you doing there?"

"Oh Kayo-chin, someone left the storage room's door opened. Since Rin is a good samaritan, Rin is going to close it."

" _NOOOOOOOO_!" It seemed that Eli and i both had the same reaction in mind as we began sprinting our way to the door. However, it was too late...we were quickly locked from the outside. Eli banged the door, hoping that Rin and Hanayo would hear, but no one responded. Seeing how red the quarter russian hands were, i stopped her and held her hands, trying to give her a bit of encouragement. " **Well, we were trapped here, but even in these dark times, we must never lose the light to move forward teehee** ~" As if on cue, the faint light which illuminated the whole room gave up on us. I was totally lost for words on my luck, i did say 'dark times' but this was a new level of misfortune. Meanwhile, the taller girl was- "EEEEKKKKK!" letting her shrill shrieks filled the room and clinging to me like her life depended on it.

" **Eli-chan calm down, it's just the darkness**." I tried to pat her on the back with the intentions of calming her down. However, because of the quarter russian uncontrollable squirming, she managed to tip my hat, wig and eye mask all at once.

" _ELI-CHAN_!"

This was bad, i reverted to normal Honoka-chan and to make it worse, the new leader was just beside me, CLOSELY beside me. Fortunately, the darkness was my friend and kept Eli's eyes shut. But i couldn't even bend my body as the quarter russian's squeeze was becoming tighter. By the current flow of things, it was only a matter of time before my identity would be revealed. As soon as she opened her eyes, it was over. The first thing she was going to see, was the smileless face of the person that they were searching for.

"KKYAAAAAA!" Eli screamed loudly again. She was starting to overpower me as she pushed her weight forward, making us both fall on the ground. I used this chance to get away from her but she quickly locked my movement with another full body embrace.

" _Don't hug me i'm scared_!" My arms and legs were in a deadlock. At this rate...NO, i wouldn't let that happen, i could still move my whole body. I began slowly wriggling my way out until my head reached something...very soft, which immediately filled my head with happy thoughts...like those dozens of cat videos on the internet. No mistaking it, these were BREASTS, Eli's BREASTS.

I resumed wiggling my body. However, Eli's breasts were surprisingly big. " _85..no..86..87..don't tell me 88! Good lord, just how much love God gave in this person_!" Before i completely engaged my mind with this 'boob' talk, i managed to get my head halfway through. But, when i tried to move further, Eli began another barrage of screams. "HYAAAAAAA!" She was cuddling me like no tomorrow and pressing it more to my face. " **El..-cha..your boobs...i'm..slow...ly..losi..ng...air**..."

...

...

...

* * *

 **Afterlife?**

"Where am i? Why is everything all white here? I'm just in the room full of darkness and despair a second ago..." I asked to no one in particular. Well, because no one was here, only me and the white horizon.

"Is someone there, please answer? Kotori-chan! Umi-chan! Hana-" I gasped. Someone did answer but she was formless, just a powerful voice in my head, telling me that. "..I died...it was 'death by boobies'..."

"It has been a good 16 years of my life...i have no regrets.." I wholeheartedly stated. Even though, after all what happened, i loved my life. Yes, it had more bad things than the good, but i could still proudly say that i was glad i lived.

"Huh, i can still go back? So i wasn't totally dead.." The voice informed me.

"Nah, i like to stay here, it's been so long since my heart feels this at ease..." Let say i did go back, for sure it would be only another sets of misfortune, waiting for me like Mario saving Princess peach just to find out she was taken in another castle. At least here, i had a peace of mind.

"What are you saying i must go back? Someone is waiting for me?" 'Someone is waiting for me' i felt wasn't the Muse, Yukiho or my parents, so who was it?

"I still like to be here, i'm an avant-garde who doesn't dwell on the past. I believed everything happened for a reason..."

"What 'One punch man' and 'Nanatsu no Taizai' will air their season 2?! That was..tempting alright, but i already read the manga. Well, if there are nothing more interesting things out there, just let me sleep. I'm tired..."

"WHAT HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED?! Are you kidding me, that wish is beyond the power of Dragon balls."

"See? You complied easily. Lying is not good you know..."

"What do you mean 'it's not like i'm doing it for you okay, so don't get the wrong idea', what are you, a tsundere? Just give it up, there's nothing you can do to make me go back."

"... **Project: Honoka Requiem**..."

"What's that..it sounds familiar..." Requiem as in the song for the dead right? Well, that was fitting. My memories were still in a blur but it somehow resonated to me as something important something i must do...

"Well, can you at least tell me about this **Project: Honoka Requiem**?"

"What? Hey, don't go 'i don't want to give spoilers' thing after pulling my leg, speak."

"Am i not worried about what will happen to the others? Hey, don't change the subject! I'm dead you know, how can you expect me to worry?"

"What?! Eli will go to jail!" I couldn't argue on what the voice told me after all her boobs WERE the murder weapons. I could easily predict what would happen next: Everyone was going to be double-shocked on finding me dead. Then Eli, thinking herself was responsible, was going to turn herself into the police. With the lack of leader, the Muse was going to be disbanded and Otonokizaka's students would drop because of the issue, resulting the complete closing of the school. All happened because of one's person boobs. How tragic...

"Yeah, yeah..i know...i'm not selfish you know.."

"Voice...i need to go back..."

* * *

When i opened my eyes, i found myself back in the dark storage room, with Eli's boobs still suffocating my face. _"..It's..real..ly..hard..to..breath..her boobs..are way too big_..." Despite of slowly dying of asphyxiation, i squirmed way out little by little until i managed to slip my mouth, desperately breathing small amounts of air through her cleavage. I continued moving slowly but surely till my head fully passed her boobs. I was in her belly button area when i felt my hands were now movable. This made things easier as i pushed her to the side, completely escaping her grasp. Then, i frantically searched for my fallen wig, cap, and eyemask, however...

"Honor-chan..is that you? Why is..your hair is different now?" Eli asked. She still had fear in her words but she was now returned to her senses, to her rational and mature self.

" _I'M SCREWED_!" Wait! She didn't recognize me...she still called me Honor-chan. Silly me, of course she didn't, i was facing away from her. Meaning, in her perspective, she only saw my back and the color of my hair, not my face.

" **Ahh Eli-chan the truth is when i lost my wand, i've also lost the source of all my magical idol powers, reverting me back to my human alter ego. That's my only weakness as a magical school idol of love, so it's a secret between us okay** ~" I immediately threw my wand to the side as i spouted this nonsense. Good thing, my excuse making skill level was very high and always saving me in these critical situations.

"I'm sorry it's all my fault.." Her voice was shaky as if she was crying. I knew she had a side like this but i never expected she was this much of a crybaby. "..I'm..really..."

" **No, no, please don't apologize. Times like these happen haha**." The only thing she needed to apologize for, was having a bust size of 88. Aside from that, everything was acceptable. " **Don't worry, once i find my wand, i can get us out of this in no time teehee~** "

"Then, let me help you.."

" **NO! Ack- i mean don't. Just rest there, i will be done shortly hehe** ~"

"Why? Do..you think i'm...no good too?" Was she sniffling? I was facing the other way around, but i could definitely hear sobbing noises. And what did she mean by 'no good'?

" **No, no definitely not don't think like that. If you want, i can grant you a wish**." Well, whatever it took to stop her crying. I couldn't focus searching anyway if she was like this.

"A wish..."

" **Well, in this form my powers are limited only to human capabilities but Honor-chan will try her best teehee** ~"

"Then...can i hug you?" That wasn't a wish at all, it was a DEATHWISH. It wasn't even 5 minutes when i came back to life yet my fate was bound to enter the death's door once again.

" **AH- i think..my wand is over there...Eli-chan, i'm just going** -"

"I knew it, you really think i'm just a burden to you..."

" **You can hug me! In fact, i love hugs! It replenishes my star power. But Honor-chan human identity is an interplanetary top secret**..."

"Don't worry, i will hug you from behind. So please..." Even while facing away, i knew she was making a puppy dog eyes. Well, i already died once, so might as well die twice. I sighed in defeat as spread my arms in a lateral position as if accepting my fate.

" **Eli-chan come here**!"

"Honor-chan!" For the next thing that happened, she tackled me from behind then swiftly locked her arms against my waist, pressing her boobs deeper on my back. She was taller than me by a few centimeters so her head was leaning on my hair. It was that time when i noticed that she was shuddering. I guess this was her usual behavior every time she was forced to deal with the darkness. I could easily picture her in my mind, all by herself in a dark room, hugging her stuff toy while waiting for the light to come.

"Honor-chan i'm sorry, you should be searching for your wand instead of this.."

" **No worries Eli-chan, waiting for help is all fine too**." Finally, she stopped crying and shaking, i guess it was all fine now. " _Wait, this is not fine at all_!" Let say, help did arrive, not only they were going to find me as Kousaka Honoka, but they would also know that i cosplayed and tricked them for food. Just thinking about their reactions were already giving the chills. I HAD TO ESCAPE.

"You're really something Honor-chan, you're shining just like her..." 'Shining' huh, i felt someone said that word to me before.

" **What do you mean Eli-chan**?"

"Ah it's nothing, it's a long story..."

" **Well, long stories are perfect fit in our situation right**?"

She was silent for a minute and reluctant to speak, but in the end, i managed to make her talk, after a few lines of "don't worry, you're secret is safe with me" and "no fair Eli-chan, you already know Honor-chan's secret."

"Well, how should i start..i haven't even told Nozomi about this. Umm...you read my past right? Then you must know about ballet. Back then, i started to be a ballet dancer at a young age like my mother and grandmother. I practice hard every day and take my lessons seriously. All my classmates were very supportive and always praising me. It was that time, when i stupidly thought of myself as 'special', someone who was above the others and easily do what others couldn't. But as i grew up, i realized i wasn't 'special' at all. I failed at every ballet auditions i joined and started lagging in both class and ballet lessons. It was so unfair, i thought. I never slacked in practices and gave a part of me in ballet, so why there's always someone better? Why i can't win? It was that point when i decided to give up my dreams, until i met Nozomi and...Honoka-" I instantly coughed when my name was there. Like i had been struck by an arrow. The guilt instantly surfaced in my mind.

"Honor-chan are you alright?"

" **I'm alright..i bite the dust..i'm fine now..please continue**."

"If you say so...where was i again..ah Honoka, my first impression of her was, she's stupid, another hero wannabee who wanted to save the school. She presented me her idea of being school idols, which i quickly rejected. Even so, she didn't give up, no matter how many times i rejected her. On the contrary, she persevered more and her group of 3 quickly grew to 7. I confessed, my objection to her idea was something personal. She kinda reminded me of my old self: Stupid and thinking that the world would always go her way. But when she extended her hand to me and asked me to join the Muse, i felt a heavy burden was lifted to me. I'm starting to smile more and looking forward dancing again. It was also that time when my feelings for Nozomi bloomed and-"

" **Umm...Eli-chan can we skip that part..i'm already familiar with it**." By familiar, i mean i knew the whole story because i was there the whole time.

"Oh..okay..umm so i thought this circle of happiness would last forever until she left...Honoka, i mean. I tried to not act shocked or distressed in front of others, but inside i'm just like Umi and Kotori too. In an instant, all her responsibilities were shoved to me, but i'm not really great as a person. Although people see me as more leader-like than her, Honoka was unlike the others...she was 'shining'. To back it up, it was Honoka's idea that saved the school, not mine. So when i was appointed as the new leader, i wanted to refuse right away. I'm not Honoka...i'm not 'special'...i can't accomplish what she can...my light had already been long gone.." Something wet was dripping on my neck...it was her tears.

" _Eli-chan_..."

"Umm...Honor-chan, do you know why she left us?" Eli asked me sincerely. Meanwhile, i wasn't dying on hugs this time, but sheer guilt was killing me inside. I never expected i managed to influence their lives like this. The idea of revealing myself did cross my mind, yet i couldn't...in this state, i would only hurt them more.

" **Whoa that's really a long story, but you know Eli-chan there's something bothering me. This light and shiny thing, it's not because 'my light had already been long gone', it's because you give up. You told me this Honoka was 'shining', right? But i think she wasn't great of a person either. The only difference was, she didn't give up**..." I made a lighthearted speech, hoping to alleviate this growing guilt in my heart, but it had the opposite effect.

"Well, she did give up...she gave up on us..." Eli said, this time not holding back her tears.

That remark stung me and made me chew my words. I could only counter with a weak reassurance like Umi earlier. " **Eli-chan don't cry, Honoka-chan didn't give up on the Muse**."

Because it was Muse, who gave up on Honoka-chan.

"...Really..how can you say that easily? We tried to find her you know, but it's like she vanished in the thin air..she really doesn't want us to see her now.."

" **Eli-chan, the darkness in your heart will only grow stronger if you keep thinking like that. Just trust me, a magical school idol never lie right**?" On the contrary, this magical idol of love was born full of lies. This was the main reason why they should never know my identity.

"..Really..."

" **Well, i can't tell you why Honoka-chan left because it will violate the Celestial code 542 but i'm sure she doesn't hate you**." I put my hands in Eli's hands, sharing my warmth and sincerity to hers. " **In** **fact, if she's here right now, i bet she's hugging and comforting you, just like me**."

"Honor-chan, i'm glad i met you. To be honest, when we first met, i thought you just cosplayed and freeload for food. But there's no doubt in mind now, you're really a magical school idol." I coughed loudly again after hearing that. My whole body became a target practice for a bunch of imaginary arrows. The guilt, the guilt was back with a vengeance. It was that point when i made a lifetime promise to bury this secret only to myself.

"Honor-chan are you alright?"

" **Don't worry...it's the dust again**.."

"Haha, you're clumsy too, just like her."

" **See now you're giggling, you should be more confident in yourself. Your life may be full of dark now, but don't give up and for sure the light will COME**!" As if on cue the light did come, but on the outside. Eli was relieved when she heard the sound of the door opening. Meanwhile, i was...

" _I'M SCREWED FOR REAL_!" I got sidetracked and lost my chance to escape. Our position wasn't too far if turned their heads from the side, not to mention Eli was just tightly hugging me from the behind. THIS WAS CHECKMATE!

"Hey Eli, Honor-sama are you there?"

Chance of survival 0%

"Nico, Nico is that you?"

Chance of survival 0%

"Yeah i'm here with Maki, that idiot Rin locked this door, right? I heard it from Hanayo."

Chance of survival 0%

"Well, let's go now, you found the camping gears right?"

Chance of survival 0%

"Yeah, just a minute..."

Chance of survival 0%

"Good, then what are we waiting for." This was the worst, their footsteps were getting closer and closer. Was i really out of moves? The only thing i could think of was to summon my [Moon Platinum] and gave them all a beating of 'Dark Honor Punches'.

Chance of survival 0%

"Wait, just stop there. I'll be the one who'll be meeting you both."

Chance of survi- Wait! What?

Eli was still embracing me from the back when she whispered, "Now's your chance, go find your wand, i'll stall them. Your human self was top secret right?"

"... _Eli-chama_..."

" **But wait, aren't you still scared in the dark**?" To present my proof, she was still trembling lightly.

"Yes but, i won't give up now and i won't run away either. I have to shine like Honoka-chan right?"

" **Thank you Eli-chan**..."

"No, i must thank you Honor-chan my mind is all clear now.."

I couldn't waste this God-given opportunity, i hastily moved away from the taller girl and fetched my wand shortly. I still had no a clue where my wig, eye mask and cap were, so i searched the ground with a fast pace. My time was running out and i still had no progress. It was then when i noticed a button-like in my wand. After pressing it, a strong colorful light enveloped the room. Seriously, it had a feature like this all this time. If i knew it beforehand, i could've prevented myself from dying earlier. I raised my wand like a torch while walking, and found my magical idol paraphernalia near a fort of boxes. I quickly put everything on then raced my way to the exit.

" **Magical school idol of love Honor-chan, here to catch your heart teehee** ~" I muttered my magical school idol catchphrase as i met the three outside.

"Honor-sama, i'm glad you're okay. Was that light made by you?" Nico asked, looking at me like i was some sort of her childhood superhero.

" **Yeah, i'm brimming with lots of star power now, thanks to Eli-chan**."

"Well, if she's really a magical idol, why she didn't use her magic to escape?" Maki retorted with a typical smart girl remark.

"Maki, do you question the greatness of Honor-sama? Honor-sama please forgive her, she's cranky when she's hungry." Nico bowed on the redhead's behalf.

"It's my fault, why Honor-chan can't use her magic that time." Eli chuckled then secretly winked at me.

"What Eli you too, you believe her? She's so shady you know?"

"Maki take that back! I'm sorry again Honor-sama, she doesn't know what she's talking about." The raven haired girl bowed to me again. Meanwhile, i could clearly see the tiny bits of irritation starting to form on Maki's face.

" **No, it's okay heehee** ~"

"Tsk. Whatever let's go now." Maki clicked her tongue and started to walk away from us. She was immediately followed by Nico, who excused herself to me before chasing towards her lover.

"Well, Honor-chan, let's go too."

" **Yeah**..."

We walked deep into the woods till we found a good place to camp. Eli went back to the mountain house for food while Nico was off somewhere, gathering wood for the campfire. This left me stuck with the group princess, but what i got was more like an uncomfortable silence. It was expected after all Maki was the type who would never make the first approach, plus she viewed me as 'the shady girl that we met at the station' so i doubt we were going to have a conversation anytime soon.

...

...

...

Ten minutes had passed and no one had uttered a word. Well, playing the silence game was fine by me. I had my own problems to deal with anyway. Project: Honoka Requiem...It sounded so familiar...why did the voice want me to go back? Hmm...

 **"AHHH**!" I shouted and stood up out of reflex. Maki just stared daggers at me for a second then averted her gaze after.

" **Sorry**.." I could only apologize for my sudden surge. Because finally, i had remembered something crucial. **The Project: Honoka requiem**...was my **Banka** i...the **final form** of the prototype that i was wearing right now. So there existed something more wretched than this god-forsaken outfit, WHY? At least, this answered the mystery of this dress, but i still had to find why i was on the train.

...

...

...

Another silence had come to pass. Well, i could get used to this. I guess we wouldn't have some heart to heart talk, unlike the others. " _Finally, some peace and quie_ -" Just when i was about to relax and stretch my arms, Maki's cellphone rang. But for some reason, the redhead didn't answer the call after looking at the caller. She had an irritated look and gritted her teeth. Not even a minute, her phone rang again. This time, she didn't bother to touch her phone. The ringing continued for the third, fourth and fifth time until she finally pressed the call button. She let a loud 'tsk' before answering though. " _Hey Maki-chan, if you didn't want to be bothered by that call, there's a magical solution called 'turning off your cellphone'_."

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry, there's not much reception here...yeah...i understand...I'll attend the marriage interview as soon as i get back. Yeah, there's nothing to worry about. Bye." The call ended and Maki had a hard shaking grip on her cellphone. Hey, hey, hey, what just happened here? If i heard it correctly, the whole talk was about a 'marriage interview'. She and Nico were still dating, right? And no matter how i looked at it, their relationship was going strong now. So what was the deal of attending this marriage interview? Ughh, i didn't want to poke my nose into someone else's business but i had a bad feeling where this was heading.

" **Umm...Maki-chan, about the**..."

"So you heard it, don't tell the others until i break up with Nico," Maki answered coldly, but it wasn't the same cold reply she always gave now and then, there was a hint of sadness in it.

" **Well Maki-chan, do you mind telling what's the problem**?" Actually, i already had an idea on what was the problem itself, but it was still in the hypothesis stage.

"It's none of your business! Oh, i remember, you're an all-knowing celestial idol, then why don't you use your 'magic' that you're talking about." She got me. As expected from a first-year honor student, always using logic to counter an argument.

" **Hmm...you know, you're right. Magical, Celestial, Love power charge: Heart slip, your memories are now mine teehee** ~" This was a gamble, my information was only limited to what i heard. So if my guess was wrong even in the slightest detail, then game over. But this was the only way to make Maki talk. Arghh! Whatever, time to present my theory. " **Well, according to your memories, your parents were bugging you to attend a marriage interview lately. Of course, you want to refuse right away, but you've never talked back to your parents let alone inform them about your relationship with Nico-chan**."

"You're really annoying, but yes you were right." Thank God, i was right. Well, it wasn't really hard to guess, but a tiny detail in her story kept bothering me.

" **Umm...Maki-chan, why do you want to break up with Nico-chan. According to your memories, you loved her so much and things are going smooth between the two of you as of late. So why** -"

"Because this is REALITY!"

" **Reality? What do you mean by that**?"

"I told you it's none of your business. Stop badgering me!" Maki shouted. She was right Honoka, it was none of your business now. But i couldn't leave her like this, not when i knew she was going to be unhappy.

" **IT IS MY BUSINESS, MAKI-CHAN. I'M YOUR LEADER**." Honestly, if i put myself in Maki's shoes, i would be quite annoyed at myself. It wasn't my style to be this forceful, but this girl was one heck of a stubborn princess.

"You're just saying that now, then you'll leave us just like her!" Her? Did she mean me? Oh boy, i suddenly had a bad feeling. One ticket to slightly angst train, please.

" **What are you talking about, Maki-chan**?"

"It's nothing. What part of 'it's none of your business' don't you understand? JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

" **There you go again, you know i can't do that. Not when your heart was telling me to save you**!"

This time my remark somehow hit her hard as she didn't speak after. Maybe because she was still contemplating if should or shouldn't tell me the whole story, about this 'REALITY' she mentioned earlier. After all, this girl had lots of trust issues and always chose to bottle her problems to herself. " **Listen Maki-chan, we can repeat this conversation for the hundredth or even the thousandth time, and the outcome will still be the same. I won't give up, i will never give up because saving people's heart is the duty of a magical idol**."

...

...

...

"...Fine, I-i guess i could tell you, but don't tell the others especially Nico."

" **Of course, you have my word as a magical idol of love**." Finally, we were having progress. Well, whatever the source of her problem, for sure i could solve it with logic.

"It all started when Honoka left-" I coughed loudly at the introduction. The guilt was haunting me again. Suddenly, i felt nauseous like something churned in my stomach.

" **Hey, are you alright**?"

"Yes, yes, i'm fine ahahah, please continue."

"If you say so. Well, i've always thought the Muse was a magical place, a place where we're always could've fun and a place where we could always be together. But ever since she left, our leader i mean, the magic of that place had all died out. In an instant, i was slapped back to the REALITY that we will all have to separate. Soon, the third years will graduate and leave us, which will strain my relationship with Nico. Why? Do you ask, because i knew that idiot will pursue her idol career, which will limit our time to be together. But it's not only her, once i graduate Otonokizaka i'll be busy becoming a doctor too, and i doubt we'll be seeing each often after that. So it's best to end it here while it's still fresh...this is REALITY, no matter how much Nico and i loved each other, that isn't enough to live in this world..." So...in other words, this was all my fault again. Like how Eli doubting her leadership, Maki became somewhat scared to the future. She was always this pragmatic but with my leaving and the third years pending to graduate, made her overthink what was going to happen.

 **"Ahahahaha**!" Actually, i had no idea what i should do. But first, let's do something about this grave atmosphere.

"Why are you laughing? This is a serious matter for me! Dammit, i shouldn't have told you about this, i'm leaving now."

" **Sorry Maki-chan, it's just you're thinking it too much**."

"What's wrong with thinking it too much, it's the truth. I'm the sole heir of Nikishino Hospital, so of course my parents will be expecting me to produce a future heir."

" **Listen Maki-chan, what's important is today more than anything else. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present**." Pretty good advice right? I ripped it off from Kung-fu Panda. Master Oogway would be proud.

"The present..."

" **Yes, tell me Maki-chan. Do you really want to end your relationship with Nico-chan**?"

"I told you none of that matters now. This is nothing but a stupid high school crush, i'm sure i'll forget it in college or when i meet-"

" **Then, what if you didn't forget**?"

"Huh?"

" **What if you didn't forget her even after all time that passed? It's sad...Maki-chan, wanting to be someone, you yourself pushed away. You'll constantly regret about it, thinking the what ifs or if i could only go back. And i'm going to tell you now, that feeling is so painful**." Because i was feeling that all the time. Why did i leave them? Sure, they would be shocked if i told them i couldn't smile anymore. But maybe if i thought it hard enough, i could find **another ending**. I missed them...even though i was the ninth wheel, i missed them so badly. Umi's scolding, Kotori's pampering, Maki's cold retorts, Rin's exuberance, my idol discussions with Hanayo, Nozomi's teasing, my little sister's talk with Eli and even Nico's Nico Nico nii. I missed it all and seeing them just in front of me hurt me so much. The fact that they were so close to me yet now unreachable...

Well, no use of thinking that now, since we had no save/reload in life. All i could do now was to move forward and believe that this decision was right.

"Then, wh-what should i do? I-i can't disobey my parents but i don't want to lose Nico either. Tell me Honor-chan, what should i do!" She was now openly crying in front of me. I reached my hand towards her hair, gently caressing it.

" **Just follow your heart Maki-chan, you might think this is the clichest advice ever. But that all there's to it really. Don't think about your parents, Nico or this REALITY, and think about Nikishino Maki. What do Nikishino Maki want**?" She hugged me all of a sudden, baring her raw emotions towards me. Obviously, all i could do was to hug back. This was strange, the Maki i knew would never open up to strangers, but i guess love had its ways of changing people.

"...Do you really think i could do all that?" She asked while her face was still buried on my shoulders.

" **Maki-chan, WE make our own REALITIES**." I sincerely assured her with a firm hold on her hands. " **And besides you're not alone anymore, you got your parents, wonderful friends and a loving girlfriend. For sure, unlike me, you can discover an answer that will leave everybody happy**."

And so, we continued to hug for a few minutes. Maki was still sniveling, so i just gently patted her head, acting like a mature Onee-san.

"Honor-chan..."

" **Yes**.."

"...Can you just stay with us? I know this is stupid, but you greatly remind me of her, Honoka.." What was this? Her eyes looked so tamed and the way she talked was very serene. Was this the fabled, Maki's dere side? This was the first time i saw her like this, i almost wanted to say yes for a second.

" **Ahaha i'm sorry but i have a duty to fulfill and also...someone is waiting for Honor-chan, but i'm sure our paths will cross again**."

"Ahh..no i'm sorry, so you have a special someone too." 'Special'? Was that person was 'special'? Hmm, i really didn't understand, how that person was 'special' in any way. But perhaps, she was right, because that person accepted the for who i was.

Maki stood up, stepped a few distance then turned again to me. Her face looked like she finally found her resolve. "I decided once this training camp is over, i'll let my parents know about my relationship with Nico. They might be disappointed in me, but i'm not going to give up until they accept us. Thank you Honor-chan, i think i can compose a music now. We have to win the love live for Honoka and the seniors."

" **Well, no worries Maki-chan, i'm a magical idol of Lov-AHHH**!" A part of my memories came flashing to me again. Suddenly, my hands couldn't stop shaking as sweats started to appear in my body. This sensation...was fear.

No, impossible...so that was what its true purpose...why the voice wanted me to come back... **The project: Honoka Requiem** was...

"Honor-chan, Honor-chan, are you alright? You screamed again." Maki's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. She had an anxious expression while shaking me on my shoulders. Meanwhile, mine was a horrified one, but i managed to hide it by bowing my face.

"... **I'm fine, sorry Maki-chan**..."

"Mou, you don't need to say sorry. You helped me greatly after all."

"... **Yeah...sorry..** "

"Hey what wrong with you? You're acting weird all of a sudden."

 **"...It's nothing...really...sorry Maki-chan**..."

"If you say so, i'll not ask any further. But if you feel like talking, i'll be at the mountain house, okay." Although she said that, she was reluctant to leave me at first. I just told her that it was something magical school idol of love related, then never spoke any further. It took a few minutes for her to actually leave me, but promise to return and check on me later. I only nodded as my response.

As her image faded in the forest, i finally opened my mouth. "I'm sorry Maki-chan but no matter how hard all of you try, it's useless. Because once my **final form** is complete, i'll **automatically win** the Love live..."

That was right, the spirit of competition was dead, the Love live was going to be a one-sided massacre between me against every other idols. Sorry everyone _..._


	10. Chapter 10

**Just a random update.**

* * *

"Huh where am i? Why is everything so white here? WAIT WHITE?! Don't tell me...i-I DIED AGAIN!" How? I mean just a moment ago, i was soaking myself in the hotsprings.

"Hey voice, so who killed me this time? Was it Rin-chan? Maybe Nozomi-chan? Umi-chan or Kotori-chan?" I shouted the names of four possible suspects, hoping the voice would enlighten me again, but all i got was a dead silence...

 _Get it, dead as in literally dead right now...oh i should stop this..._

But weird, since when did i become so forgetful? Why i couldn't remember a thing? _Welp, there's no point of thinking that now, i'm dead anyway._

As i stared at the white horizon, my eyelids grew heavier. A warm surreal feeling was there, telling me to rest...eternally.

 _Goodbye, everyone..._

...

...

...

 _I CAN'T SLEEP_! My mind was at peace but my heart wasn't. Because deep inside me, i was anxious...about what happened to others and how i die for the second time. Technically, i had the eternity to think now, so it wouldn't hurt to try right?

Let see...from what i had remembered, the last thing i saw was black...no not the darkness but black panties, whoever killed me was wearing a black underwear.

Though, i still felt i was missing the bigger picture here. Maybe, if i retraced my steps, it would give me a better light.

* * *

I trekked alone towards the mountainside which was the second group location. I knew Umi-chan was wearing weirder than the others, but i never expected they would hike for real. Well, both Rin-chan and Nozomi-chan had good stamina so i wasn't worried a bit. In fact, if anyone need some worrying here, it should be me. These craggy roads were a pain, not to mention the sun was on its brightest. My magical idol clothes weren't exactly heat-friendly, so i was sweating so much each step. Soon with god's help, i caught up to them as i panted for my life. My ex-senior and ex junior warmly welcomed me while my blue-haired childhood friend still gave a cold shoulder. When asked if they had made a progress, their faces already spoiled the answer.

"Well, nothing will happen if we beat ourselves to it ahaha."

"So 'leader', i assume you have a plan, right?"

"Well, about that..."

"Of course she is nya, an ally of justice always have a plan nya." Rin-chan's eyes were full of light.

 _Hey, Rin-chan don't look at me like that, because the truth is...i don't have any idea what to do either._ To start with, writing lyrics weren't my forte. I remember the last musical thing i wrote and gosh it was dreadful. Plus, i was dealing with a much bigger problem right now, helping about the lyrics were the last things in my mind. But, problems just keep piling on one another with no solution at hand. "Haaa, i could give anything for a good sleep..."

"Sleep nya?" Did i say that out loud? Ugh, this was bad, i was starting to lose focus. I felt hazy for some reason, maybe because of the scorching temperature or-

"Are you kidding me? Do you know how crucial this time-"

"I agree with Honor-chan. Umi-chan, you're far stressing yourself over this. In times like these, you need to keep your calm and take a step back." Surprisingy, Nozomi-chan agreed to me. Since she was the voice of reason in the group, it made my random suggestion a bit credible.

"Yeah nya. Umi-chan, you looked so tense, we're just worried for you nya."

"...Fine." Her eyes darted towards me for a second, glaring. "But i'm not joining her in one tent."

"Ah that's okay. Rin-chan wanna sleep together~?"

"Of course, Honor-sama nya."

And so, we started setting the tents. Rin-chan and i were together in the tent A while Nozomi-chan and Umi-chan would be sleeping in tent B. The lyrics could wait but i had to avoid my spiritual senior first. After all, she was the most dangerous member of Muse in my opinion. When not flirting, her level of perception was equal to mine or perhaps even greater.

We finished quicker than i thought, but just when i was about to urge Rin-chan to join me, a call came from Hanayo-chan. Since i didn't want to interfere with their private time, i excused myself and enter the red tent first. Reclining my body to the side, i closed my eyes and calmed my mind. Thoughts of the worst-case scenarios swirled like Umi-chan still stumped about the lyrics or them finding my true identity. But still, this short moment of respite was a god-send, because the truth was..

I was already in the worst-case scenario...

 **The project: Honoka Requiem.** It referred to my second identity, **the idol who ruled all idols.** But why me? In the first place, i had no grand aspirations like to be a pirate king or a hokage. I was fine living a life with no expectations or anyone expecting towards me. In fact, that was easier. So why? Why someone like me was trying her hardest now? This was so messed up.

 _So... should i use this like no mercy? It's not like it's going to make a difference anyway. Once, it's completed, it'll grant me absolute victory_. _Still, is this what i want? Wait, what DO i want in the first place?_ Strange, i never thought of that before...

 _When you go to a kindergarten and ask the children what their dreams are, they'll respond with 'i wanna be a king', 'an astronaut', 'supermodel' or something like that. But when you go to high school and give them the same question, their answers probably, 'I want to finish college', 'a girlfriend', 'a car' or 'i want my meme to reach 1000 likes'. Because as we grow up, we become aware of our own limitations. For example, to be a king, you must be born with a royal blood or marry a queen. Surely by this example, people already realized that not everyone could be a king, so does our dreams._

 _So Kousaka Honoka, what's your own limitation?_

 _My limitations huh..._

As i raised this question myself, my arm felt something very soft that immediately filled my mind with happy thoughts like those times when i slew my first dragon in Skyrim. No mistaking it, these were BREASTS, Rin-chan's BRE- Wait a second, something wasn't right here, Rin-chan belonged to the flat squad!

If i remembered correctly, Rin-chan's bust size was 75 while Umi-chan had a size of 76. However, the one that was sandwiching my arm right now, were a whopping 90 melons of pure softness. So by the process of elimination...

 _Oh no, no, please no, no, god no, NO. Don't tell me..._

"My, my, did i startle you, Honor-chan?" IT WAS NOZOMI-CHAN! My spiritual ex-senior was lying intimately beside me, cuddling in my arm. Like always, she had that playful look plastered on her face as if she was teasing me more.

"Umm...Nozomi-chan, why are you here? I thought Rin-chan was supposed to be my-"

"I swapped with Rin-chan while she was busy on her call. Actually, i've been here for a few minutes, you're just so immersed with your thoughts that you didn't notice me until now." That was plausible, i supposed. But hey, this wasn't the time to be calm. She just said, 'i've been here for a few minutes' and 'you didn't notice me until now'. Meaning, in that point of time, if she wanted to...she could take my mask off...

"Ah don't worry, i've never done something like taking your mask off," She said as if reading my mind. This was bad, heart was beating fast out of nervousness just being with her. "I just cuddled with you the whole time, after all Elicchi said you like hugs right?"

"Ahaha, is that so..."

"Yeah. To be honest, i'm quite curious about you, Honor-chan. You're cheerful, full of optimism, and always willing to help others like... **Honoka-chan**."

A chill ran down in my spine. Had she figured me out? It wasn't entirely impossible, given if it was her. Still, my mind chose to play dumb. "Really? I bet we can be good friends then, if we would EVER met."

"Ah by the way Honor-chan..."

"Huh- Fuwahh!" All of the sudden, Nozomi-chan groped me. She continued to 'washi-washi' for a few seconds before strangely stopping. When turned around and planned to scold her, her face looked so flabbergasted

"...Impossible...it's the same as..."

"Umm...Nozomi-chan, hellooooo. Are you there? Earth to Nozomi-chan." I waved my hands over her eyes and she still had no reaction. I wonder what was wrong with her? She froze like a statue. Running out of options, i was about to leave and visit the neighboring tent for help. But when i put it in action, she grabbed my arm. "Wah Nozomi-chan, that came out of nowhere. So are you fine now?"

"..."

"...Nozomi-chan?"

"Honor-chan, please answer this with all your honesty..." A question? I could only nod, looking confused. Meanwhile, Nozomi-chan was staring at me with all her seriousness, something i had never seen from my spiritual ex-senior's emerald eyes before.

"Of course, a magical idol never lie, you know." My tone was upbeat. Well, whatever that question was, i could lie anyway, so no worries here.

"...You are Honoka-chan, aren't you?" Huh, did i hear that right? Honoka-chan? Nah, she might have her tongue slipped like Hanayo-chan earlier. Yes, that was a possibility, no need to panic.

"Mou Nozomi-chan, my name is Hono-"

"Honoka Kousaka..." She gave me a tight squeeze as she answered for me. "...Right?"

Okay, time to panic. OH MY GOD, the person sitting next to me now, was someone even scarier than a newly awakened Umi-chan. I had no idea beneath that caring and motherly figure, she had something like this. No wonder, Nico-chan was afraid. "HO-HOW...did you arrive to that? Nozomi-chan is so funny ahaha.."

"I'm serious here. I already had my suspicions on you from the start, but sharing the same breast size as Honoka-chan? I know this is crazy, but there's no way it's a mere coincidence." Breast size? I got found because of that? One touch was all it took? While true, i couldn't hide my physical traits, determining the EXACT value of it was definitely something else.

"Well...you know what they say, B-cup is the Best girls' cup..."

"No, everything make sense if you are Honoka-chan. How did you know our secrets, why do the rest trust you so easily and most importantly...why are you helping us."

"Ca-calm down Nozomi-chan, i think we're in a misunderstanding here. I mean according to your memories, Maki-chan and Honoka-chan shared the same size too. See, it's not that rare ahahaha."

"Yeah true, Honoka-chan and Maki-chan both have the size of 78, but the shape and texture of yours were a striking resemblance to Honoka's." What? So we had something like boob fingerprints now. If i recalled, the only time i got groped was back at season 1, when i stupidly snuck at the rooftop with Nico-chan and Rin-chan. Did she remember every detail of the boobs she touched?

"Nozomi-chan, i-"

"I'm going to ask you again. Are you Honoka-chan?"

I was found. Nothing left for me except to accept it. Maybe if luck on my side, i could convince her to not tell the others. "I am...i am..."

"HONOKA!" Somebody shouted for me. It was Umi-chan, barging in our tent and raising her cellphone. Great, now Umi knew it too, i guess being not discovered was only my wishful thinking. But just when i was about to speak and reveal them everything, Umi-chan excitedly spoke before me. "Nozomi, it's Honoka, she sent a text to us!"

"What?!"

 _What?!_ We were both stunned at what we just heard. Me, sending a text, that wasn't possible. Heck, i didn't even have a cellphone with me.

"Nozomi, is something wrong? It surprised me too, but this is real, she contacted us."

"...Ye-yeah..." She nodded still in shocked as if she couldn't comprehend what happened. Well, she wasn't alone, i had no idea what was happening either. "Umi-chan, are you sure..this is Honoka-chan?"

"Yes, this is the text she sent to me just now, here take a look." The message was short and concise, 'Sorry for leaving you everyone, i promise we will meet again.' I thought it was only that but as Umi scrolled her phone, there was a picture...a picture of me, wearing casual clothes near some station. How in the world did we have two Honoka-chan now?

"This was definitely a very convincing text..." Even Nozomi admitted to herself. "Well, did you call the number already? She might reply."

"Yes unfortunately, her phone was off."

"Hmm, for now let's forward this text to the others. I'm sure your Kotori-chan will be happy to hear the good news."

"Nozomi!"

"Ahaha, sorry Umi-chan, you're just so easy to tease."

"Anyway, i'm going to my tent now. I think with this, i can finally make some good lyrics."

"Well, gooduck for you then, and don't push yourself okay."

"Alright, alright.."

Shortly after Umi-chan bid goodbye, an awkward silence aired between us or for Nozomi-chan at least. After all, in her perspective, she almost accused me of being 'Honoka-chan' which was 100% true. Eyes guilty, she twiddled her fingers, before striking a conversation. "Honor-chan, i'm sorry, i just got excited. I really don't know it myself but ever since we met, i have this strong feeling that telling me, you are Honoka-chan or maybe someone related to her."

"It-it's fine, Nozomi-chan, i didn't mind at all."

"I guess i'm just missing her ahaha..." She gave a tensed laugh before falling to a complete silence. When i shifted my gaze towards her, sheen of tears were visible on her eyes.

"No-Nozomi-chan, wh-why are you crying? Please, don't cry."

"I missed her, i missed her so much. There are lots of things that i want to ask her like 'how have you been?', 'are you eating well?', 'you're staying up late again, aren't you?'"

"Then, why don't you tell her that?"

"...I can't..."

"Why?"

"Because, i'm a failure as her friend."

"Failure as her friend?"

"It's nothing to concern about. Silly me, it's been a long time since i cried like this, i must be spouting nonsense again." She wiped her tears and put a front. This was bad, she was trying to shrug me. Of course, i knew very well that Nozomi-chan wasn't the type who would accept the help of others especially towards a stranger.

"It's not nonsense Nozomi-chan and you know it. Tell me, why do you think you're a failure as a friend?"

"...I-i can't tell you that. I appreciate your concern though." She forced a smile, seeing her like this broke my heart, because it was similar to the same smile i used to give.

"Nozomi-chan!"

"I said it's nothing, don't i?"

"Well, don't you want to hear what 'Honoka-chan' have to say?"

"What?"

"What i'm telling you is, i can be your 'Honoka-chan', so you can tell me everything. This feat is hard, considering i'm a stellar aspect of space not a human being. But since nothing is impossible for a magical school idol, i think i can manage." This was the only thing i could think of, it might not be one of my brightest ideas, but if it could help Nozomi-chan, then so be it.

"..."

"Aww~ i'm serious here. Do you want a demo?" I cleared my throat first, before mimicking my most 'Honoka' expression ever. "Nozomi-chan, let's do our best today, faito dayo. Oh is that a bread? Good thing, Umi-chan isn't here. Thanks for the food! Nom, Nom, Nom..."

"Stop that.." She giggled.

"Nozomi-chan, faito dayo. Faito dayo, Nozomi-chan. Nom, nom, nom, nom..."

"Okay, i get it, i'll tell. Just stop that, seriously."

"Heehee, it's my win."

"Yeah...so how should i start. This is really weird."

"Just speak to me like i am 'Honoka-chan', and i'll try to be as Honoka-iest as possible."

"...O-okay..here i go. Umm...Honoka-chan?"

"Oh what is it? Ah i'm tired, the practice was hard today. Nozomi-chan, do you have some bread with you?" I could tell she was shocked, seeing me too 'Honoka-chan'. But wait, wasn't i OOC in the first place, more OOC when i became 'Honor-chan', and now i was 'acting' the old me under the new new me which was all just a ploy of the new me. This was some inception depth level of OOCness.

"Honoka-chan, Honoka-chan..." Nozomi's repeated calls snapped me out of these thoughts.

"Ahh, sorry Nozomi-chan, i was just thinking about bread ehehe.." I apologized with the Honoka way of apologizing which was to laugh it out with a hand scratching the back of my head. "...So what do you want to talk about?"

"...About that...Honoka-chan, i'm sorry..."

"For what?" I cocked my head to the side, faking to look puzzled.

"...For being a failure as your friend. Back at the time, when we went to the beach, i knew something was troubling you. Yes, i knew...yet i didn't do anything, no i chose not to do anything..."

"...Why?" .

"Because, unlike us, you're strong. Out of the nine of us, you're the one who shines the brightest. True, you're not smart or athletic, but you had something that bound us together. That's why we always followed you, we always respect you. However, under that pretense, we took you for granted and now...you left us. It might be too late to say but sorry, we should have asked you what's wrong, we should have been there for you, we should have helped you...we are really...failures as a friend..." She was openly crying now, and so were i. Realizing that i was always helping them, but i never really let them help me. In fact, when i couldn't smile anymore, the thought of telling them or seeking for help never did cross my mind. Since when did i become like this? Why it was so hard for me to rely on others?

For that reason, they called me strong, yet the hardest part of being strong was no one would ever ask if you were okay.

"No, Nozomi-chan, don't ever think like that? You are all my precious friends..."

"If that's what you still called us..."

"Of course, you are. You, Eli-chan, Nico-chan, Maki-chan, Rin-chan, Hanayo-chan, Umi-chan and Kotori-chan, being together with everyone is my best place in the world."

"Then, why did you leave us? Not even saying anything..."

"I don't want to leave! If i have given a choice, i want to stay with the Muse forever. God knows what i would give for that to happen, but life doesn't work that way. Not everyone had a happy ending waiting for them. So at the very least Nozomi-chan, i want you to trust me."

"Trust you?"

"Well, i cant really say the reason why i left. But Nozomi-chan, i promised we will meet again and when that happens i will tell that reason. And even if you hate me, i promised i will still love you, the Muse, my best place. Can you wait for that, Nozomi-chan?"

"Yes, i will wait."

"...Thank you..."

"Honoka-chan!" She dived me for a hug. Yes, we fell on the ground. Yes, her boobs were suffocating the half of my mouth. Yes, the embrace kept getting tighter and tighter. But this was fine, something about her reminded me of my real mother. She WAS the mother of Muse after all...

...

...

...

We continued to hug until Nozomi-chan managed to calm down. Well, she didn't really break the hug, she just lose her arms a bit. In the process, our eyes met momentarily and she flashed a smile at me. "You're just like what Elicchi says..."

"What is that?"

"...That you have the same warmth as Honoka-chan..." She cooed that in my ears as she snuggled me more. I knew my spiritual ex-senior was clingy but i never thought she was THIS clingy, no wonder she was the perfect pair with Eli-chan. "...You know, it might be strange but i really felt like i was speaking to the real Honoka-chan that time, i've even got all emotional..."

"...Ahaha...that's the...thing about magical school idols, we can do almost everything...teehee~"

"...But something still doesn't ring to me, that 'And even if you hate me' part. I'll never hate Honoka-chan."

"Ahaha, is that so?" I doubt about that, after all my destiny was to become the Darth Vader of all idols.

"...Still, thank you, Honor-chan.."

"No, don't thank me, saving people's hearts was my duty after all."

"...Honor-chan..."

Aaaand we were back in a hug again. Oh well, as long as i could rest, she did assure me that she wouldn't try anything funny anymore. Taking her word for it, i relaxed and closed my eyes, cherishing every second of peace. This was definitely one heck of a day, i wasn't done dealing with my memories, yet another mystery appeared before me: The second Honoka-chan. Who was she? And what was her purpose? Not to forget, i had Rin-chan, Umi-chan and Kotori-chan left to deal with. I hoped the moment i opened my eyes again, everything would finally be answered...

* * *

AH, that was a good sleep. My body had fully recovered and my gears of logic were working fine too. I move away, careful of not waking the sleeping purple-haired goddess who was just spooning on my side. Made some few stretches here and there as i mentally prepared myself for what to come. Yosh, all things set, time for me to face the blue overlord just beyond this tent.

The afternoon sunlight shone on me, shortly after leaving the tent. On some nearby rocks, Rin-chan and Umi-chan were sitting there, sharing stories and snacks together. My bluenette friend's face now looked less frazzled and more approachable. The time of rest really did the trick.

"Magical school idol Honor-chan, here to catch your heart, teehee~" I caught their attention with my catchphrase. Rin-chan waved her hands and Umi-chan greeted me with a serious stare.

"Honor-sama nya!"

"Leader, there you are. I was waiting for you."

"What is it, Umi-chan?"

"I called everyone," She informed. "I just want to tell you that Maki has finished the music and Kotori has an idea now about our costumes, thanks to Hanayo. I need to meet with them, so that we can finish the song today."

"I see, then let's wake up Nozomi-chan first, pretty sure-"

"No, i need to meet them NOW."

"Now as in right now? But it's going to be dark soon. It's dangerous to go alone, take Rin-chan with you."

"Yeah nya, i-i can help."

"No, it's okay. You may not know it, but i marked my way here." Well, we weren't really at the top of the mountains and she did show me a self-made map of hers. But still, something felt out of place, it wasn't like Umi-chan to be this...hasty.

"Can you just stay even for a few minutes? We just need to wake Nozomi-chan and cleared up the tents, then we can go down the mountains together."

"I can't...i promise i will be fine, trust me." 'Trust me', those words were the game ender of our argument. Umi-chan quickly slung her bag and bid goodbye to us. She said a few 'sorry' along the way as she disappeared from my sight.

For once, things were going smooth for me, yet why did i have bad feeling about this. Called it a premonition, but i couldn't shake this feeling of uneasiness, like something was churned in my stomach. Maybe things would be different, if i only forced to stop her...

Well, enough of that, 'whatever happens, happens' anyway. In reality, i was left with the lovable Rin-chan who was the most harmless Muse member, along with a sleeping hug monster named Nozomi-chan. Looking at her, she was kinda sad of Umi-chan's leaving but easily returned to her energetic and bubbly demeanor when i talked to her.

"Rin-chan, what's that in your hands~?" I eyed that half-eaten candy bar. Hey, i trekked this mountain about past noon and slept until now, it was only natural to be this hungry.

"Ah, Kayo-chin prepared some snacks for me before we hike nya. Do you want some nya?"

"...If...you insist..." I tried not to sound as desperate as possible. Well, Rin-chan was more happy to share her treats with me. Potato chips, chocolate bars, sweet biscuits and ramen-flavored candies, ah this was heaven. I loved this, no conflict or whatsoever, just me and her enjoying our time together...

"By the way, Honor-sama. What are you doing here in earth nya?" She asked me with full enthusiasm.

"...You..you know saving the world, fighting the darkness in peoples' heart, stuff like that..."

"Cool, so what kind of place is planet idol nya?"

"Umm...a...planet filled...with idols?"

...

Huh, it suddenly became silent here. Rin-chan, she was kinda dejected and dissatisfied with my answer, i think she expected something gaudy or over-the-top. Well, what could i say, in the first place Honor-chan was a persona created out of my desperation. She didn't have any character depth or tragic backstory in it. But i admit, i hated seeing Rin-chan like this.

"Ahh actually, i forgot to tell you i lived in the hidden village of idols..."

"Hidden village of idols nya?"

"Yep, that's the place where full-pledge magical school idols like me do missions, train our magic and make friends. Also, our village leader is called the Mahoukage." _WHAT AM I SAYING?!_ But it was too late for me to stop now. Rin-chan, she was looking at me like i was some sort of childhood superhero. In some point of time, my eyes were the once same as hers, so innocent and full of life.

"Wooow, that's so amazing nya!" Rin-chan was squeezing my hands out of excitement. "So, are you in a mission? Are you, are you, are you?"

"Rin-chan calm down, heehee..." Mission? My only mission here was to survive this day unscathed, not that i could tell this in front of her. So once again, i had to improvise. "Hmm...my mission here is to find the seven Wyvern balls. Legends say, an eternal wyvern can grant any wish of those who managed to gather it..."

"Woah, i've never thought something like that exist in our world, so how do you find one?"

"I have...my millenium lavalier with me."

"Ah that fake, gold-coated thing hanging in your neck?"

Yes, this fake gold-coated thing hanging in my neck. I forgot, sometimes Rin-chan could be sharp-tongued. Well, it was more like she never put thoughts of what she was going to say first. "Mou, Rin-chan, that was harsh. My grandfather gave this to me, you know. He said, 'Listen Honor, you must take great care of this lavalier, for it holds the secrets of the shadow realm and the nameless pharaoh'. I don't know what he meant about that though."

 _Yami Honoka-chan save me! Partner!_

"Sorry, Honor-sama. I have to a habit to say without thinking first. Kayo-chin warned about this but..."

"Nah, it's okay teehee~"

"So...do you work alone or have a group nya?"

"Well..."

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...

And so, Rin-chan continued her questioning. However, as my lies kept piling, my heart was getting heavier. Inside me, there was guilt, pure and unshaken guilt. This girl...she trusted me with all her heart and believed that i was really a magical school idol.

"Honor-sama, you're so cool, i never knew you were a hybrid magical school idol and a stand user. I still don't get how [Queen Scarlet] work though nya." Seeing that lighthearted smile of hers, only made me realized how cruel of a person i was. Rin-chan, she didn't deserve to be deceived, she was too pure for this world for god's sake. "Honor-sama?"

"Rin-chan, there something i need to tell you...something important..."

"Oh, is that a super duper magical school idol secret nya? I'm in."

I was silent. Instead, i went to check on Nozomi-chan first and i was thankful that she was still sleeping. Meanwhile, Rin-chan's enthusiasm was never failing. She was humming as she followed me farther and farther away from our campsite.

We stopped on a small ridge. This was place was perfect, seclusive yet not too far. As i faced her, a part of me was scared and hesitating. My throat suddenly became dry and my body trembled a bit. Again, i found myself struggling to open up to others. _Just take the easy way out already, she doesn't suspect a thing anyway,_ a voice in my head rang. And i admit, that option was somehow enticing, but this was the right thing to do. If not, then i could never call myself her friend from now on...

"Rin-chan..."

"What is it, Honor-sama nya? Oh are you going to demonstrate your magic nya?"

"No Rin-chan, because there's no magic in the first place."

"...Wh-what do you mean by that nya? Are you saying that-"

"I'm...not a magical school idol..."

"Ah so you're a full-time stand user then, it such a shame only stand user can see stands. Maybe, if i got hit by the bow and arrow, i can develop my own stand too and help you nya."

"...Rin-chan, i'm not a stand user..."

"Huh, that's weird nya? Didn't you tell me, you traveled across the world to egypt just to beat up some egoistic and violent domineering vampire who survived the years by attaching his head to your great great grampa' body and developed a time-stopping stand which subsequently awakened the stands of your entire bloodline, including your mother who was being slowly killed it nya."

"That...was a lie..."

I expected her to be shaken, angry, or broke into tears. But when i saw her eyes, it was me who cried in front of her. Rin-chan, even after all this time, she still wanted to believe me. "So what is the truth nya?"

"I'm sorry Rin-chan, Like i said, i'm not a magical school idol of love or a stand user. I am..." _This is it Honoka, there's no turning back now_. Wig off. Cap off. Regalia off. Eye mask off. Millenium Lavalier off. Wand off. With all my magical idol gears removed, i faced her, this time no lies and trickeries. "I am Honoka Kousaka, your friend..."


	11. Chapter 11

"I am Honoka Kousaka, your friend..."

As soon as my cat-like friend caught a glimpse of my face, tears unconsciously ran on hers. She had a blank stare while her hands kept pinching her cheeks. "Hey Rin-chan, this is real. I'm really-"

"HONOKA-CHAN!" Rin-chan tackled me for an embrace, shaking. "HONOKA-CHAN, HONOKA-CHAN, HONOKA-CHAN!"

It was then, when i noticed i was crying too, the tears began to cloud my vision. "I'm sorry Rin-chan, i'm sorry, sorry, sorry..."

And so, the next moments were filled with us hugging, crying and calling each other names like idiots.

...

...

...

After both of us had calmed down, we sat on a boulder and watched the sky painted dark. To be honest, i had no idea how things would go now after this, yet i would never regret this decision. It might be only Rin-chan, but i was glad in the end i faced her as her friend. "So why did you leave us nya?"

"Ugh, seriously Rin-chan, you're like the others. Do you really want to know?"

"Of course, nya."

"Listen Rin-chan, i-" I paused. Again, a part of me was hesitating. I never knew opening up to others was such a hard thing to do. "...I can't...smile anymore..."

"How? You said you're fine and-" She gasped, eyes widened. "Is this our fault nya?"

"NO, don't ever think like that, geez." Her eyes were beginning to water, so i patted her head. "You know, meeting you girls were the best thing that happened in my life."

"Then, come back to us nya. Everyone here is waiting for you, i'm sure will be more happy to welcome you nya," Rin-chan said while wiping her tears. Then, she stood up and extended her arm. "Please, Honoka-chan nya..."

If i accept this hand, i could definitely return to them. Pretty sure, they had a lot of questions. Umi-chan might be angry at first while Kotori-chan would rush me for a hug, followed by the clingy duo and the RinPana couple. On the side, i could see Maki-chan and Nico-chan smiling, they were always too tsundere to join events like these. Of course, the scene wasn't complete without more crying and hugging. And with that, the Muse was back to its nine members, all set to compete for the Lovelive once again. Yes, that moment would be perfect, yet... "...I can't, sorry Rin-chan..."

"Why nya?" Her voice was broken. She just stopped herself from crying but from the look of her, she was about to wail again.

"I don't really understand it myself, but after i lost my smile, i had this feeling like i was searching for something..."

"And what is that nya?"

"...I..don't know..."

"Then, we will help you look for it, the nine of us together nya."

"No, i think it's something that i have to do myself."

"Honoka-chan nya..."

"Don't cry, we are friends, right? Even though we're apart as long as we believed that we're friends, our hearts will be always connected to each other."

"Yes, we're friends forever nya..."

"Sorry for being so unfair, Rin-chan." We were both locked in an embrace, waiting for my cat-like friend to stop sobbing. She kept mumbling 'Honoka-chan don't go' as i caressed her hair. In the end, i chose to be a cruel person. Even though Rin-chan was begging like her life depended on it, i still held to my decision. I didn't understand it myself, but maybe it was related to the 'Someone that's waiting for me' that the voice mentioned. A minute went by for her to calm down, but she still had a hard grip on my body.

"Honoka-chan nya..."

"Mm...what is it?"

"It only hit me just now, but why did you tell me all of this nya? I mean isn't it something that Kotori-chan or Umi-chan should know first nya?"

"Don't get me wrong Rin-chan, i feel equally guilty for deceiving you all, however..."

"However nya?"

"However, seeing you made me realized i should've trusted my friends more. It's kinda funny, isn't it? After all, i'm the one who suggested the idea of getting close to each other."

"No, it's not like you just don't want to trouble us...and we..."

"When everyone became busy with their relationships, i felt there was a distance between us. We hadn't talked or bonded like we used to do. Everyone seemed eager to move forward and before i knew it i was left out, i became lonely. But instead of trying to close the gap, i only strayed further relying on myself."

"I'm sorry nya..."

"No don't be. Rin-chan, i told you didn't i? Meeting you girls were the best thing that happened in my life."

"But you..."

"Even if i can't smile anymore, i never regret being with you, with everyone."

"Honoka-chan nya..."

And so, for the third time, we had gotten emotional again. Minutes passed by, both of us cried our hearts. I had never felt so relieved, i managed to tell Rin-chan everything...everything except for their impending doom with my **Bankai**. Of all things, i had to forget why that? Quick, i must warn her about **The Project: Honoka Requiem**. "Rin-chan!"

"Wh-what is it, Honoka-chan?!"

"About the Lovelive. Listen, it's going to be-"

"..Honor-chan, Rin-chan, Umi-chan where are you?" Mother of all wrong timings, the voice was close. It was my spiritual ex-senior calling for us. This was bad, but just like with Eli-chan, Rin-chan moved toward the direction of the voice, stalling for time. I whispered her a 'thank you' as i frantically equipped my magical school idol gears back.

"Hono...r-chan and i are...wa-watching the stars nya.."

"Ah i see, i just woke up without everyone, so i thought something had happened."

"...No-nothing happened nya.."

"Well, care to tell-"

"Magical school idol Honor-chan, here to catch your heart teehee~" I cut their conversation with my magical school idol catchphrase. Rin-chan was bad at lying, but she did promise me she wouldn't tell the others at least until the time that i was ready to tell them myself.

"Oh, Honor-chan."

"Good evening Nozomi-chan, had a good sleep~?"

"Yeah, the best one i had for weeks, so where's Umi-chan?"

"She left alone nya. We tried to stop her but insisted nya."

"Umi-chan did?"

"That's why we need to follow her, everyone let's clean up now."

"Hai..."

The three of us returned to our campsite. We dismantled the tents, picked up the trash, and packed their bags. We had no self-made map like Umi-chan did, but my spiritual ex-senior assured that she remembered the path home. With her in the lead, she flicked open a big flashlight as we began trekking down. The mountains may be scary at night, but since i had Dark Honor-chan within me, we were going to be fine. Along the way, i tried to sneak a conversation to Rin-chan, but Nozomi-chan's constant stares were preventing me to do so. She was curious about our sudden closeness. Yes, in the short time that Rin-chan learned my true identity, she had never left my side. She was clingier than Eli-chan and made a habit to rub her cheeks against mine.

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...

...

An hour passed, and we were almost at the base of the mountain. The journey was exhausting, but at least we had the cool breeze of the night as a compensation. In the end, i never had a chance to tell Rin-chan about the secrets of my **final form**. I sighed. Well, there would always be another time, right? Yes, as soon as we arrived at the Maki's vacation house, i planned to take her away and confide it.

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...

Another hour had passed, and that moment was soon would be realized. We were almost there, in fact i could see the figure of the mountain house now. I locked Rin-chan's hand, ready to drag her away. However, when we arrived in the living room, the rest of the group were waiting for us. Like Umi-chan said, the two other groups were finished with their tasks and with her going in an earlier time, they might finish the song too. Those were my expectations, but the reality was something i never expected.

"Oh Honor-sama, you must be tired. Here, have some of this." Nico-chan politely handed me a sandwich. I think this was what people called Reuben.

"Hey Nico-chan, what about me nya?"

"Oh please, i only made this appetizer for Honor-sama. And besides, we're going to eat dinner soon."

"Eh, no fair nya."

"Well, if this will make you feel better, she didn't make one for me either, HER girlfriend."

"Hey, you know it's not like that, i just run out of ingredients."

"Wow, things are getting livelier here...like the old times..."

"Yeah, i kinda get how you feel, Nozomi."

"Umm..." Hanayo-chan stood right in front of us, fidgeting. Of course, her actions easily garnered the attention of everyone.

"What is it, Kayo-chin nya?"

"I've been wanting to ask, but... **where's Umi-chan**?" Hanayo-chan's question made it click why i was so anxious earlier. Could it be? My stomach knotted as the conversation continued.

"What are you saying nya? Didn't you meet her before we nya?"

"No, we don't..."

"Hanayo-chan, let me clear things up. Umi-chan left before us to meet with Kotori-chan and Maki-chan. But if you didn't meet her like you said, then it only means..."

"Umi is missing..."

"WHAT?!"

Aside from Eli-chan, Nozomi-chan, and me; the rest of the group had surprise faces. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. Arghh, how did i let this happen? Did Umi-chan lose her way here or intentionally hiding? Maybe she got involved in an accident while trekking down the mountains or encountered some bears in the forest, not to mention the riverside had a harsh current too. Stupid, stupid Honoka, i should have stopped her back then. Kotori-chan flipped her phone and tried to call her girlfriend, but the archer's phone was off. This was bad, it was almost pitch black outside, not to mention we were in the middle of nature. The time was 7:44 pm for god's sake, she could be anywhere now.

Procrastination wouldn't solve our problem, so we started a split-search while Kotori-chan remained in the mountain house in case Umi-chan returned. First, the NozoEli couple was assigned to the mountain area. As aforementioned Nozomi-chan was familiar with the place, plus someone had to be Eli-chan's hug-buddy since they were going to tread the dark. Second, the ramen and rice lovers volunteered to patrol the forestry area. Hanayo-chan was so worried since Rin-chan just got back from our hike, but the cat-like girl managed to convince her with a few words. Third, the hot and cold pair was left down in the river area, which was the largest. Even so, i didn't hear any complaints from them, and left briefly after packing some flashlight and necessities. And the last pair was...me, myself, and i; the best OT3 left alone to explore anywhere. Well, it wasn't like i could complain either, i had no cellphone with me plus no one to pair with. So i just bitterly wished them good luck as i ambled alone.

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...

...

...

"...Hmm...i think i passed this tree before. Am i going in circles now?" I scratched my head, realizing i was in the middle of nowhere. At night, the scenery was different, the trees looked the same and the occasional rustling of harmless animals somehow built tension. If this was a horror movie, it wouldn't be a surprise if something would jump on me behind these bushes.

"Umi-chan!"

"Umi-chan! Umi-chan, where are you?"

"Umi-chan, if you're there please answer." I felt like shouting in the void. Maybe i should change my approach to this. In the first place, why did my bluenette friend leave? She was a person with great sense of responsibility, the one who wanted to participate in the Lovelive more than anyone else. So why someone like her was missing in times like these? It didn't make sen- Wait, this scenario happened before. It was that time...the time when she...ahh!

"I know where Umi-chan is!"

Activating the strong flashlight in my wand, i moved my tired legs faster as i searched my way towards 'that' place. How come i hadn't noticed it before? Her face that time, Umi-chan was stressless not because she completed the lyrics, Umi-chan was stressless because she gave up. If it was like before, then pretty sure she was hiding at 'that' place.

Along the way, i munched the meat sandwich Nico-chan gave me, hoping to recover some HP, but game mechanics were different to real life. I was panting, my body was nearing its limits. Heck, i had no idea if i was still running the right direction or drifting further. The light from my wand was slowly fading too. Even so, i persevered and grasped this tiny bit of hope in my hand because Umi-chan...she was crying...alone...in the dark...with no one to turn to...

The next moments were a blur, but i finally arrived at 'that' place, the big storage room that Eli-chan and i got trapped into. I thanked the gods, no the heavens for making me reach this place. Seeing the door ajar, i entered inside and heard a faint sobbing. Strangely, my body moved on its own as if autopiloting me towards her.

"Umi-chan, found you." She was sulking near the equipment area, the ones where Eli-chan got the tent with.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" She was shocked. Her face looked so haggard, hair disheveled, and eyes red from all that crying. It was just like that day...

Back when we were kids, Umi-chan participated in an official archery tournament. Because it was quite an achievement back then, she received a lot of support from everyone: The teachers, our classmates, and even the people in the neighborhood. In fact, we even made a banner of 'Good luck, Sonoda Umi' as a group project. Everyone was hyped, my bluenette friend was winning here and there. She even reached the semi-finals and won against the crowds' favorite. Everyone thought our archer had this competition in the bag. However, in the finals...her opponent won by default...

The next day, Umi-chan was absent. When i paid her home a visit, her mother told me Umi-chan injured herself during practice, therefore unable to compete and now resting, however that wasn't the true story at all. I was a pretty adventurous kid back in my olden days, so adventurous that i used to sneak into her room. Using my 'secret spot', i crawled myself in and made my way to her room. The Sonoda household was the epitome of traditional Japanese homes, at least for me. It was big filled with tatami mats and wooden doors. Their bathroom was pretty traditional too, not to mention they had a dojo connected to the house. I arrived at her room just to find out that she wasn't there. The me that time was so carefree, i explored the house more not aware of the dangers. And by dangers what i meant was, Umi's mother finding me out. Thankfully, she wasn't angry at all, in fact she showed me where Umi-chan was: in an empty equipment storeroom near to the dojo. Running my way there, the kid me didn't even think it strange about what my bluenette friend was doing in there or why she was there in the beginning. I just casually entered the place and surprised to hear sobbing noises. I walked towards the direction of the cries and found Umi-chan crying.

Now that i recalled it, she had the same surprised look back then. I tried to console her, telling 'it's not her fault' and 'things like that happen', yet it seemed that i only made her mood worse. Remembering how naive i was, i repeatedly asked her why and in the end my stubbornness prevailed. My bluenette friend confessed that she got injured and could still participate, but chose not to...

Unlike me, Umi-chan was smart. While not a genius, she would study every day and she placed high in the tests. The same notion was applied in archery, she was strict but stricter to herself. My bluenette friend had never skipped an archery practice and trained harder with extreme discipline. However, in the end she was still human, and humans had their limitations. When faced an opponent with skill difference too high, she couldn't help but trembled, feared and escaped which precisely what happened. If it was me, i would fight even though it would humiliate me. But because Umi-chan was smart, she knew she had no chances of winning from the start. However, at that time the one who wanted her to win the most wasn't me, or her parents, or the whole class. It was Umi-chan herself.

"Mou Umi-chan, everyone is looking for you, so let's go hom-"

"NO!"

"C'mon Umi-chan, do you want to keep them waiting? Eli-chan is afraid of the dark you know." I extended my hand, but she wasn't budging from her position.

"...I-i can't face them..."

"Umi-chan, of course you can face, they are your friends." Ugh, that line sounded so ironic to the core coming from someone like me, nevertheless i had to help my bluenette friend.

"Can't you see i failed everyone. We only got a week before the Lovelive preliminaries and we still don't have a song. This is the last chance of the third years, our best shot for reaching Honoka yet i failed them. I tried so so hard to scrape anything from my mind, but it's not working, i couldn't make the lyrics. At this rate, we are going to-"

"Then failed them."

"What?"

"It's not like you can always win in life, so fail them. Trust me, after the 50th time, it wouldn't make a difference anymore. The only thing that matters is, **have you really done everything**?"

"Huh?"

"You didn't actually fail them yet, am i right? You still have time. Failure only becomes failure when you stop trying."

"...Honor-chan..." That was the first time, she spoke my fake name.

"So please let's go home, Umi-chan..."

Umi-chan was reluctant and took a minute to answer. Eyes downward, she bit her lips before she accepted my hands. "...Yeah..."

And so, both of us returned to the mountain house, which was a very walking distance from our location. At the living room, we were then greeted by Kotori-chan, who hugged her girlfriend as soon as she saw her. Umi-chan was crying and apologizing the whole time. My little bird friend thanked me. She called the others and happy to inform that they were not too far. Me, i was just glad this whole crisis was over. Glancing at them one last time, i silently made my to the kitchen and scavenged for food. Hey, i was hungry okay, aside from that Reuben sandwich i hadn't really eaten anything else. Luckily, i saw the dinner Nico-chan made and wolfed it down in one seating.

And so, my hunger was solved. However, i still had another problem, my muscles were aching. Well, even if my body was physical trained, i pushed it too far this time. But then, like a lightbulb flashing i remembered one crucial detail: A hot spring! Back before i parted with the BiBi group, I heard Eli-chan saying she stumbled a hot spring on her way back. That was soon confirmed by Maki-chan, telling me their family constructed an onsen too since they privately owned the land. At that time, i shrugged it off, after all i had an identity to protect with, but now the timing couldn't be perfect: Everyone was away, these two lovebirds here were busy to themselves, and the location of the hot spring was just nearby. A little dip wouldn't hurt, right?

Yosh, with a goal in mind, it was about time to put it in action. Returning to the living room once again, it seemed Umi-chan calmed down and now resting in Kotori-chan's lap. I muffled my footsteps, careful of not ruining their heartfelt moment. Though, my ashen-haired friend was smiling at me for no reason. Well, i didn't put much thought into it, i was in a hurry after all.

Dragging my exhausted body outside, it only took some short steps before i found it. The onsen was big and beautiful, its motif truly fitted the whole mountain area theme. Surrounded by nature the water and steam seemed so natural. It had some wooden fences to drive away animals and potential peepers, not to mention a large changing area complete with bathing supplies. Not wasting any more time, i stripped naked, grabbed a towel and soaked myself in.

"AAAAaaaaaaahhhh~" I felt revitalized. Just as i thought, hot springs went best with tired muscles. This might be the best thing that ever happened to me on this day.

"I want to stay here forever~" I might sound like an old man, spouting something like this. But whatever, it wasn't like there were people here anyway.

"Ahh~ this is the best~"

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...

...

...

"...Uuaahh~ i wanna marry this onsen...no, bread-kun i'm not cheating on you, onsen-san just feels good outside my body, but in my heart, in my stomach, you're still my number one. Am I conceited? No, bread-kun don't leave me, i'm begging you, BREAD-KUUUUUUN! NOOO-" Noises interrupted my onsen-bread love triangle stupor. Huh, were those footsteps? Ah, this might be bad, i may have stayed here for too long, i was starting to feel lightheaded. Everything in my surroundings was swirling and swirling...

The noise was getting louder like it was a conversation of some kind. Ugh, it was making my head hurt. And those voices, they seemed familiar, i mean VERY familiar. The whole place was steamy, but i was starting to see silhouettes, human figures slowly approaching me...closer and closer...until...

"Sorry, Honoka-chan..."

In an instant, a short monologue appeared in my mind narrated in Morgan Freeman's voice.

 _It was at this moment, Honoka knew...she's already dead. The end._

* * *

 **Umi P.O.V**

After the whole drama i had caused, Kotori and i waited for everyone to come back. We were in the living room as i reposed my head on my girlfriend's lap. I couldn't count how many times i apologized to her for making her worry. But Kotori, being the understanding and caring person she was, forgave me with a condition that i would never do anything like that again. In the end, i was still weak, my distance was miles away from Honoka and now that distance meant literally. After all, she left us...

"Thinking of Honoka-chan again?" Kotori's voice pulled away from my thoughts, smiling at me as she played with my hair.

"Kotori...how?"

"Mmm, you're face is always so easy to read..."

 _Am i really? No wonder i've always lost in card games._

"...Yeah..." I knew this was a recurring topic that only Honoka had the answers to. But my mind couldn't help but to worry, she was always so reckless and insouciant. Also, inside me, there was a fear, fear that Honoka might... "Kotori, why do you think she left us?"

"Hmm, i don't know, but for sure wherever Honoka-chan is, she's doing her best. She's our Honoka-chan after all."

"Right..."

"Don't worry, Umi-chan, she might not be far as you think." For some reason, Kotori's warm smile was redirected towards Honor-chan who entered the room and now sneaking to the hallways.

Honor-chan, i hated her...at first. Not because she was a stranger who cosplayed and freeload for food, but because i kept getting Honoka vibes from her. That reason alone might be the answer why everyone accepted her so naturally. Even without saying, i knew she helped everyone, including me who was mean to her. But the thing that i was weirded the most was how did she know us so well. She even had knowledge of my sulking place that no one except Honoka knew. Of course, when i asked about it, i got answers like "I read your memories with my magical, celestial, love power charge: Heartslip remember." And of course, i didn't buy it, the whole idea was preposterous. Anyway, why was i putting so much thought about her? She was just a leader for a day. Now that Eli gained her own footing, she was going to leave us soon...

She was going to leave us soon, huh. Why was i so anxious about that?

The time passed and the first group to return was Hanayo and Rin. They weren't panting like Honor-chan did, but they were certainly exhausted. I apologized and told them everything from how being stumped about the lyrics and wanting to escape to Honor-chan finding me and waiting for them here. "So that's how it is, sorry Umi-chan for not being any help."

"Me too nya."

"No, please don't apologize, it's me who failed you all. Everyone was making progress so smoothly while I was still stuck and...couldn't handle the pressure. So, umm..sorry..."

"Don't worry, you're going to think of the lyrics soon. I'm sure of it nya."

"That's right, take your time Umi-chan. We are going to compete in the Lovelive together..."

"Thanks..."

The second group came minutes long after. Similar to Rin and Hanayo, Maki and Nico were tired. Their eyes had slight anger, but soon softened when i repeated the whole story. "Honestly, you should've told us, we're worried, you know."

"As if you're an honest person here." Nico retorted in a low voice, but that didn't go unheard from her red-haired girlfriend. To be honest, i didn't get the nature of their relationship, one thing they were fighting, then the other thing they were sweet with each other, vice versa.

"Wha- are you trying to pick a fight, Nico?"

"No, not at all, i'm just stating. Anyway, like Hanayo said, 'take your time'. I mean the Lovelive is important, you are importanter, understand?"

"Nico, i don't want to break your cool facade, but there's no such thing as 'importanter'."

"Ah, i knew that! I-i'm just trying to make Umi laugh."

"Sure, sure, anyone would believe that," Maki said with a sarcastic tone, which of course her raven-haired lover wouldn't let pass.

"Hey, what do you mean about that?"

"Girls please." I felt things were about to go real, so i intervened. It got awkward fast as their amethyst and ruby orbs turned their attention to me. Usually, it was Honoka's job to do these things. "Ah..umm...thank you for worrying about me.."

"...Just don't do something like that again, if things got worse talk to us."

"Yeah, i don't want to lose any more of my friends..."

"Maki...Nico..."

After that, the two trod away towards the kitchen to meet with Hanayo and Rin. The dinner was postponed because of me after all. So i wouldn't blame them, if they were starving. Come to think of it, i hadn't eaten anything either.

"Hungry?" Kotori asked, reading me again.

"Yes, but i will stay. I made this, so let me apologize to everyone first."

"Hehe, that's the Umi-chan i know."

The third group took a much longer time to arrive than the others. And just like i imagined, the two were dead tired. After all, they patrolled the mountain area, which was the farthest. Leaves stuck out on their clothes and their shoes left traces of dirt as they stepped. I could only bow my head and say sorry as i told them everything.

"I see, it's only natural to be scared and felt pressured, Umi-chan."

"Yeah, we are at fault too, we shouldn't let you carry these burdens alone."

"Thank you, Eli...Nozomi..." Tears were in the corner of my eyes, threatening to come. This might be a small thing for others, but i was relieved that i managed to ask for forgiveness, Kotori holding my hand the entire time helped me too.

"Hey, don't cry, you're reminding me of some blond quarter-Russian i know."

"Nozomi!"

"Ahaha sorry, you're just so cute, Elicchi."

"It-it's your fault anyway, you keep turning on/off the flashlight. Ugh, but enough of this, i'm tired. Good thing, there's a hot spring nearby..."

"There's a hot spring here, Elicchi?" Nozomi asked, eyes shocked. Me and Kotori were surprised too. I mean we were in the mountains but...

"Yeah, it's more like an onsen just a few steps from here. Maki said it was part of the mountain house."

"Wow, that's...amazing. Let's go there after dinner." I had the same eagerness expression as Nozomi. The hot springs were perfect for tired muscles. For sure, everyone would recover their stamina after they used it.

"Yeah, sounds like a plan."

And so, the four of us met the other four in the dining area. We chatted as the four of us ate our dinner. Maki told more about the hot springs and how it was constructed. We also discussed the theme of our song and brainstormed some ideas for the lyrics. Time passed, our conversation drifted to Honor-chan who hadn't returned yet. Nico and Eli were worried, while the rest were sad, thinking she may have left us already. I was the same as them too, after all i hadn't even said my thank you yet. But with a strong conviction, Rin assured us wherever Honor-chan was, she was going to be fine.

A couple of minutes and more, we were ready to bath to the hot spring. As Maki mentioned, there were bathing supplies waiting for us, plus a reception and changing area like normal in onsen establishments, so all that left for us was to go there.

A few walks and we arrived at the said establishment. Like how we first saw Maki's mountain house, everyone was astounded at how big it was. It was extravagant but leaning towards nature's side. Excited, we entered and the place was spotless clean. It had everything that could be found in a regular onsen only bigger and better. Maki revealed the Nikishino family had resident caretakers here who cleaned and prepared everything beforehand.

"It was quite a day, isn't it?" Hanayo said. We were in the changing area now, so everyone started slowly stripping with the exceptions of me who was too self-conscious to show my skin, and Rin and Nico who were the most excited of the bunch. Those two raced towards the bath area, tossing their clothes anywhere. How shameless...

"It's my fault, sorry for hiding to you all. Sorry, sorry, sorry..."

"Don't be, Umi. We all agreed to help you with the lyrics now. It's either we win together or lose together, so don't be so glum okay."

"...Thanks Eli..."

"But Honor-chan is really something, to think that she would find Umi-chan. I mean we've never really thought you were hiding in the storage room."

"It's...an old habit of mine."

"Huh, there's already someone here, this dress...it's Honor-sama's!"

"HONOR-CHAN NYA?!" Rin screamed with surprise. The voice was deafening that it got everyone's attention.

"Why are you surprised Rin? I told her about this. Well, i'm not really fond of bathing with strangers, but since she really helped us, i'm going to make an exception this time." Maki explained. So she was still here huh, that was good to know. At least, i should express my thank you or some kind.

"No, no, no, let's go back nya! We need to go back nya!" Rin quickly retrieved her clothes and wore it again. Her reaction, she was in panic. I wonder what was wrong?

"HUH, what are you saying Rin? We're already here, plus this is my chance to rub the glorious back of Honor-sama's."

"You don't understand, you must never see her true identity nya!"

"Ah so you saw her true identity then, i knew it. You two became so close all of the sudden." Nozomi said.

"NYAA!"

"Hey Rin, is this true? Answer me!" Nico was shaking Rin's shoulders, demanding for answers.

"Yes, she...let me see it nya..."

"How come, she told me her human identity was interplanetary space secret." Great, now even Eli joined the conversation and she fully believed Honor-chan nonsense too.

"Well, i-"

"Enough of this, so are we going to bath or not?"

"Hmm...the hot spring doesn't matter, i'm just curious at Honor-chan's true identity. Rin-chan can you at least give hints?"

"...So..sorry Kayo-chin, i-i can't..do that."

"Ahh it's such a shame but if that's what Rin-chan wants, then i will respect it."

"I promise Honor-chan i won't do anything funny anymore, so count me out too."

"Yeah, i get how you feel, Honor-chan has been helping us all this time, so at least we should give the girl some privacy."

"I think this thing should be done with the other party's consent," I voiced my opinion too. Well, as much as i was curious about Honor-chan's true identity, there was still a right way to do things.

"Well, we can always return to use the bath in the house, just saying."

"Everyone, thank you nya..."

"Umm...i don't want to interrupt but **where is Nico-chan**?"

"NICO!" "NICO-CHAN!"

Respecting Honor-chan's privacy or not, we entered the hot spring to mass search for Nico. The bath area was bigger than i thought and covered in thick steam. As a matter of fact, we could only see our silhouettes as we ventured further. Honor-chan's true identity huh? _What kind of person is she? Is she a someone we know or a complete stranger? Maybe she was an Otonokizakan student and a hardcore Muse fan like Hanayo conspired_. However, before these questions could be answered, someone had found Nico already, killing the suspense.

"Gotcha! You've been a very bad girl, Nicocchi." We gathered at where the voice came from and saw three figures. The two were easily recognizable as Nico and Nozomi because of their body frames while the other one who was a bit far away was...Honor-chan. What a calm person, she wasn't moving from her position, even though we were so near to her, not that we could see her face anyway.

"Ge-get off me, Nozomi." Nico pleaded. Nozomi was holding her in the shameless washi-washi position.

"Hey Nico, aren't you being ungrateful? Didn't your 'Honor-sama' help you too?"

"It's not like that, Maki. I swear."

"Well, you better have a good explanation or else~"

"...I-i just want to be close to Honor-sama too. It's not fair that only Rin saw her face."

"Seriously, you need to tone down this 'Honor-sama' obsession thing, you just met the girl today for goodness' sake."

"Ooh~ Maki-chan is jealous."

"Wha- don't be stupid, Nozomi, i'm just telling it for her own good."

"C'mon girls, let just get out of here."

As i watched the rest conversed, someone with another petite body frame moved towards Honor-chan. "Honor-chan, are you alright nya? Oh..."

Rin and Honor-chan kept their murmuring to themselves, which only increased Nico's jealousy. Meanwhile, i found it strange that my girlfriend Kotori hadn't uttered a word, instead she had a serious stare as if she was sizing the whole situation. "Umm...Kotori, are you alright?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. I just thinking about 'some' things."

"See that, see that, that's so unfair. Why it's only Rin? I want in too."

"Hey stop that, you're only making yourself pitiable."

"I don't care. Honor-sama! Honor-sama! It's me, Nico. Honor-sama!" Nico started squirming forcefully that it needed Eli's assistance to stop her. She and Nozomi were holding her on both sides now as Nico kept wriggling.

"Uh, girls...the steam...it's starting to disappear..." Hanayo said and she was right. Well, the steam was still abundant in the area, but our proximate vision was getting clearer. And the first thing we did was to glance at 'Honor-sama's face' only to find Rin blocking the view.

"Hey Rin, get your ass off Honor-sama's face!" Nico shouted with anger, seeing what literally she just said. Rin was standing in front of us with her back or more precisely her 'behind' on Honor-chan's face.

"No, you mustn't see it nya. Everyone, please leave right now nya!" Rin-chan spread her arms. In her eyes, there was seriousness which we never saw before.

"Rin-chan..."

"We get it. Nicocchi, it's time to stop. Rin-chan is serious. Do you want your Honor-sama to hate you?"

"No, i...i just want to get closer..." Seriously, what spell did Honor-chan cast to these girls? Why Nico was so obsessed with her? And why Rin would go such lengths to protect her?

"Arghh, do what Nozomi told already. Nico, you might be annoying and abrasive at times, but right now you're being so uncool and i don't want to see my girlfriend so uncool, understand?"

"Maki, i..." Nico stared downwards and bit her lips. "...Sorry, if i've gone too far, but tell me you felt it too, right? Honor-sama, she's just like Honoka..."

...

Everyone was silent. So it wasn't only me who was feeling that way, them too. This was just a one in a million probability since Nozomi confirmed Honor-chan wasn't Honoka already, i mean we even received a text from Honoka and i doubt Honor-chan had a cellphone with her. But IF supposedly by some darn luck turn of events, Honor-chan was somehow Honoka. _Can we face her? Will she go back with us? And most importantly, can we still call us her friends?_ Just thinking about the answers to those questions made me shiver.

"Eli, Nozomi, let go of me, i'm calm now." Nico's tone was hushed and a bit shaky. Nozomi and Eli shared a nodded before decided to release the girl.

"Nico, don't do anything stupid, she's not Honoka."

"Yeah, so umm...Rin."

"What is it nya?"

"I assume you have a strong reason for doing this, so i will back out for now. Yeah, Maki, i've become a bit uncool there, sorry. And Nozomi, thanks for talking the sense out of me, i really appreciate it. Honor-sama, if you're hearing this, thank you for all you've done. This day was a mess but in the end, everything turned out just fine like you said. I don't care what others say but for me, you're really a magical school idol. There i think i said everything, i'm fine now. Sorry for being persistent everyone, we can leave..."

"Nico-chan...thank you NYAAA!" All of the sudden, Rin's foot slipped. Since Honor-chan was on her back, Rin fell flatly sitting on Honor-chan's face, drowning her in the process.

And the next moments were pure and complete...CHAOS

"God, Rin, what are you doing?! Honor-sama? HONOR-SAMA!" Nico had become overzealous in a matter of seconds.

"Hey Nico, i thought you said you're calm now?"

"This is different. Rin get off her, you're killing her!"

"I-i..." Rin tried to lift herself up but seemed had a problem doing so. Meanwhile, Honor-chan was struggling. Her hands and feet kept jerking in the water, which only increased our concern. "...I can't get up, i think i strained my foot nya."

"Rin-chan, are you okay? Do you want to-"

"No, Kayo-chin don't come any closer, you must not see-."

"You're still saying that? Rin, you're DROWNING her. Move away from her now." Nico commanded. And despite with the harsh tone, i was on her side in this one.

"Rin, Nico is right. I know you want to protect her identity, but her life is on the line here."

"I...it's okay, Honor-chan is a very strong person, so everyone please leave us nya..."

"RIN!"

"Honor-chan trusted me nya! I can't let her down this time, not today. So please if you understand-"

"Oh my god Rin-chan, Honor-chan stopped moving!" At Nozomi's voice, we saw Honor-chan's arms and legs sunk in water, the bubbles beneath Rin's behind which was the symbol of Honor-chan's lifeline perished too. Everyone panicked, Nico was being restrained by Nozomi and Eli again as she attempted to reach her 'Honor-sama', Maki and Hanayo were walking in circles, and Rin was the most shocked of all of us. The only exception was Kotori who seemed...had a serious face again.

"Wha-"

"Quick, she needs some CPR. Maki do you have some medical supplies here?"

"I guess we had some back in the mountain house."

"I will go get it." I volunteered. I didn't understand it myself, but before my actions could even register in my mind, i found myself running.

"There's a first aid kit in the kitchen drawers, the third one to the right!" Maki shouted.

"Thanks, Maki." Before i could step halfway out the bath area, Nico's hysterical voice aired with high volume.

"RIN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? HONOR-SAMA! HOOONOOOOR-SAAAMAAAA!"

* * *

"Sooo that's how i die, at least i'm at peace now. The black panties belonged to Rin-chan and it's not a really a murder, just an unfortunate turn of events..."

"Well, time to sleep..." Once again, i closed my eyes and embraced this warm peaceful feeling. I think with this, i could finally...

"WAHH! You surprised me there. Oh voice, you're here now."

"What i'm not totally dead? I can still go back?"

"Nah, it's fine. I have no reason to go, or if i should say i have more reason to stay. You know about it, don't you? **The project: Honoka Requiem**. Right now, the Muse is doing their best, they had a rough start but i think they have decent chance to win the Lovelive, but if that thing comes in fruition, there will be no hope for everyone."

"Don't i care about my own happiness?"

"Of course i care! I'm not some self-sacrificing masochist. But it was too late anyway. At this moment, everyone in the Muse knew that Honor-chan was Honoka-chan so let me-"

"What? They didn't know? Hey, stop pulling my leg. How did-"

"...Kotori-chan." Impossible, the only time we spent with each other was the time when we hiked our way to the mountain house. Did she know everything back then? Come to think of it, Kotori-chan suddenly became clingier like the time when Rin-chan found out that...Oh my gosh, she did know.

"So how did i survive?"

"...Hmm, so after i drowned, Kotori-chan rush to Rin-chan, telling her that she knows everything too. She pleaded with everyone not to come any further then wrapped my head in a towel so no one could see my face. As everyone was forced to leave, they took me to a secluded place...umm, the washing area and began applying mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and CPR. Talk about crazy."

"So will i go back now? Aren't i curious about my memories?"

"You already know my answer." Kotori-chan, my memories, and that 'someone who is waiting for me'. I still had to find my resolution to them yet. "Voice, i need to go back!"

* * *

The second i opened my eyes, i found myself in a room, resting. This room, this was the Kotori-chan's room on the second floor, the one where she, Umi-chan, and Maki-chan escaped. In my hand, there's was familiar warmth. I turned my head to the side and saw Kotori-chan holding my hands. Teary-eyed, she wiped it with her arms, then lifted her face, giving me the warmest smile i had ever seen. "Welcome back, Honoka-chan..."

"Kotori-chan, i-"

I started telling her everything, from how being left out felt and losing my smile to my transferring to another school and starting a new highschool life. We were both crying from the start to finish. Kotori-chan blamed herself so hard for what happened before i told her the same lines i told to Rin-chan. And thankfully, she was feeling better. Now, it was Kotori-chan's turn to tell her side of the story and her revelations shocked me.

"I see, so you know that i'm Honoka-chan because of my three sizes. How, i mean you just hug- you know what forget it, after what happened with Nozomi-chan, i'm not surprised anymore."

"Hehe, you should have known Honoka-chan, i'm the one who was making our costumes after all. But there's another hint, that made your true identity a giveaway."

"And what is that?"

"Well, the Honoka-chan i knew would always help us, no matter what happens. You were always like that, Honoka-chan."

"...Thanks, but i never knew my childhood friend can be this...sly. To think that you're the one who sent that fake text, i mean it never really crossed my mind. But thanks to that, i'm clear with suspicions of being Honoka-chan."

"That's...something i just thought on the spot. When Hanayo-chan called Rin-chan, i was listening to the whole conversation. It was then when i heard Nozomi-chan saying she wants to switch places. It got me worried knowing Nozomi-chan too well, so i sent something like that to help and thankfully it helped."

"Yeah, but Kotori-chan...the photo you used, that's the-"

"The picture taken on **the day you left Otonokizaka**..."

"You saw me?"

"Yes, i was shopping for clothing materials in Akihabara back then, when i caught a glimpse of you and took that picture. It was rare for you to be in your casual clothes, you know. Most of the time, you're holed up in your room, watching animes and games every weekend or whenever you're free. That's why Umi-chan was worried that you might become a NEET."

"..It's not that i want too...i just have no one to spend time with..."

"Sorry, i regretted not doing anything back then."

"It's okay really..." On the bright side, i could binge watch a 12-episode anime a day and my hero in Drackon Quest was pretty overleveled too, so it was a fair trade really.

"So Honoka-chan, will you come back to us now?" Kotori asked me with a smile. And as much as i didn't want to make that drop, i refused.

"I can't...sorry. Rin-chan already asked this to me and my answer will remain the same..."

"Why? You see it, don't you? Everyone was distressed when you're gone. They need you, i need you, so please Honoka-chan..." Her tears were falling again and i hated it, seeing someone bubbly and kind like her crying because of me.

"I...listen Kotori-chan, i need to find something and also some...someone is waiting for me..." I didn't understand it myself, but whenever i thought about going back to the Muse, i had a mental image of a...brunette girl crying, and for some reason it broke my heart more.

"...I see, so Honoka-chan finally found 'someone' huh. Sorry for being selfish then."

"No Kotori-chan, you're not selfish, it's me who-"

"Honoka-chan!"

"Yes!"

"You're already done so so much to us. I knew after the incident that i almost left for abroad, you tried to change for the better. You took time to understand the feeling of others more and helped us with our problems. That's why this time...Honoka-chan, i want you to pursue your own happiness."

"...My...own happiness?"

"I think that might be what you're searching for."

"Kotori-chan, thank you..."

"This is really so unfair, you stopped me, so how can i not stop you. But Honoka-chan, no matter what happens we are still going to be bestfriends okay."

"Yes, the best of bestfriends."

...

...

...

And so, as i waited for Kotori-chan to dry her tears, we had a little friends' talk. I missed this, talking some random thing with my friend. "So Honoka-chan, where's your new school? I hope it's not too far, so i could visit you."

"Ah, i'm in the UTX now."

"UTX?! That big building in Akihabara. Wait, did you take their entrance exam? I heard their curriculum there is crazy. And how did you afford the tuition there?"

"Kotori-chan, calm down, please. Yes, i transferred to UTX but with a recommendation, your moth- i mean principal Minami and our homeroom teacher. And about the tuition there, my parents have some educational fund for me, the part-time jobs i took last summer vacation helped too."

"Oh, so how's your life there?"

"Well, nothing much. They have 12 different classes of bread there and everything looks high-techy."

"Whoa, did you make friends there already? It sounds so elite."

"Uhh..." Friends, how come i had no idea what to answer on that question. I wasn't close with my classmates, yet somehow images of three girls were popping in my mind, their faces were blurred in memory though. "Yeah, i have some friends...i think."

"Hey, what kind of answer was that?"

"I don't know. To be honest, i can't remember some things like how i managed to get here."

"Short-term memory loss?"

"No, it's kinda like a mild-very-very-short-term one." Well, i could still remember what happened in the days passed before, where i lived and what did i have for dinner last night. But the details about those girls were fragmented. If only i had some keyword or something, maybe i could recall everything. _Yeah, like something like that will happen, you're reading too many mystery mangas again Honoka._

"Sorry, take your time, it'll come eventually. Too bad, i want to ask some information about the Lovelive champions, the **A-rise**."

 _The A-rise_...Those words resounded in my head and it hurt a lot. _Lovelive champions...this cursed dress...the project: Honoka Requiem...being left out on a train...why...why does it feel so connected_. Arghh! I felt my head was splitting apart...

"Honoka-chan, are you alright? Honoka-chan, Honoka-chan..."

 _I am..._

 _"Honoka-chan, i know this is your resting day, we decided to have a surprised practice today. Aren't you excited? We are going to one of Anju's beach house, don't be late okay."_

 _I am..._

 _"Lookie, lookie, Honoka-chan. This is the prototype i've developed, i based it on magical school girl anime DVD you lent me. Don't you find it lovely? I made this design to fully hide face while giving you the maximum mobility and flexibility for lives. I'm sure everyone will love this."_

 _I am..._

 _"Anju-san, Tsubasa-san, it's okay. She's not naked."_

Everything was starting to piece out like a completing a piece of the puzzle. One by one my memories were returning. I got it now, the boredom that pricked me like thorns in my everyday life. Why did the voice want me to come back. And my promise to Tsubasa-chan. I remembered because i was that person...

 _I am..._

" **Idol Zero**..."

"Honoka-chan?"

" **Kotori, can i borrow your cellphone? There's someone i need to murder right now**." The friendly atmosphere between us had died and replaced with full of animosity. I could tell, she was shocked (and disturbed), seeing me not holding back on my words. But i couldn't help it, i was pissed beyond words. It was THEIR fault to begin with, why i suffered.

"Mu-murder! Ho-Honoka-chan, wh-who are you going to-"

" **Who else, the person who forgot me here**." If there was one good thing that ever happened after i regained my memories, was that i realized i did nothing wrong. That was right, it wasn't me who was wrong, it was the world.

* * *

 **Chapter 12 Preview**

"That's why the Honoka-chan of the Muse and the Honoka-chan of A-rise are both true Honoka-chan!"

"Don't ask, i've been too OOC in this past few chapters, that i think i'm having an identity crisis right now."

"Zerooo-chaaaan~!"

"Tsubasa-chan, what color do you think Honoka-chan's panties right now?"

"Easy for you to say, i have more death flags than Krillin!"

"I am the equinox of the idol world."

Next on Honoka-chan can't smile R2: A-rise of the revolution, " **She has finally appeared, the number Zero idol**!"

"This is my fate, there's no going back now."

See you next time.

* * *

 **A/N: I tried.**


End file.
